The best way for a society to prepare its young people for leadership in government, industry, or other fields is by instilling in them a sense of cooperation, not competition.
Write a response in which you discuss the extent to which you agree or disagree with the claim. In developing and supporting your position, be sure to address the most compelling reasons or examples that could be used to challenge your position
It is the elders' and teachers' unwritten duty to nurture and bring the young generation up in a manner that they can be ready to assume pioneering responsibilities in their desired disciplines. Many paths may lead to this final goal but several suggest the path that focuses on inculcating the values of cooperation, while barring that of competitiveness. I partially agree with the full statement.
Firstly, it is rightly said that "Teamwork makes the dreams work", but the realisation of this statement is possible only when all the individuals in a team are able to work in a cohesive manner. Cohesion requires numerous qualities such as compromising, tolerating, adapting, leading and so many more. All these, I believe, fall under a single umbrella that can be labelled as "the sense of cooperation". We have come far enough to force individuals to dig deep to find possible room for improvement, which can be more monumental than it may appear at a first glance; something that can be achieved collectively, most of the times. The youth must learn how to coordinate and communicate, in order to accomodate and learn different ideologies that may spark out-of-the-box thinking ability in themselves. The importance of being a valuable team player can never be overstated, as everyone is several times stronger, when united. However, it is never easy to possess this skill and very few are born with the required patience. Therefore, I inarguably side with the first half of the statement presented here, as the lack of cooperative nature has the potential to seriously shun one's future goals and possible success.
However, the second half of the statement does not hold as much weight as the first half, for me. While we talk about preparing the youth for the future of the world, we must realise that we are raising a wide number of candidates for a handful of designations. In such a situation, competition is inevitable and the mantra of "Survival of the Fittest" plays a defining role. Unfortuantely, having a sense of competition has been often viewed as a feisty trait that is portrayed to disregard the surroundings for own good. I refrain from this thought and I would love to draw attention towards the idea of having a healthy rivalry. History is evident that often, competition has been the force that drove individuals to unexplainable heights and resulted in outstanding achievements for the personnel and the society, alike. We can never forget the post-World War 2 space race between USSR and the USA. Both equipotent nations went on to achieve notable milestones, pioneering and inspitring generations of scientists. Today, the field of space research stays as a challenging and fascinating profession, that employs so many exquisitely skilled people, improving their lifestyle and societal standards.
The important detail to note in the aforementioned example is that single individuals from the presented nations did not compete. Rather well-structured and defined organisations went against each other and gathered accolades. The individuals in these organisations had to have the sense of cooperation to function like a well-oiled machine, so that they can collectively compete with their rivals. The scientists had to have a competitive nature as well to address the urgency of the setting and it all made things more challenging and interesting. These conclusions can clearly not be limited to the presented situation. In fact, scenarios of this nature are timeless and omnipresent, but have different scales of urgency. Every modern day company requires its workforce to effectively communicate and succeed against a certain competing firm that also consists of a similar but maybe differently executed hierarchy of workers. To survive and thrive, it is pivotal to be a complete individual or it would not take long for others to trample us and also take adavantage of us on their way.
To conclude, I would like to underline that if we are to prepare the youth for the decisive and responsible jobs mentioned here, we must have a dynamic and hollistic approach towards the task. We cannot afford to focus on sharpening a certain trait, while ignoring the other. If it were that easy and straightforward, this topic would not have been one of the important subjects of discussion.
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2024-07-02 | MMoksha | 66 | view |
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Grammar and spelling errors:
Line 3, column 185, Rule ID: IN_A_X_MANNER[1]
Message: Consider replacing "in a cohesive manner" with adverb for "cohesive"; eg, "in a hasty manner" with "hastily".
... individuals in a team are able to work in a cohesive manner. Cohesion requires numerous qualities s...
^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^
Line 5, column 432, Rule ID: ADVERB_WORD_ORDER[8]
Message: The adverb 'often' is usually put between 'has' and 'been'.
Suggestion: has often been
...tuantely, having a sense of competition has been often viewed as a feisty trait that is portra...
^^^^^^^^^^^^^^
Line 7, column 131, Rule ID: SENT_START_CONJUNCTIVE_LINKING_ADVERB_COMMA[1]
Message: Did you forget a comma after a conjunctive/linking adverb?
Suggestion: Rather,
... the presented nations did not compete. Rather well-structured and defined organisatio...
^^^^^^
Transition Words or Phrases used:
also, but, first, firstly, however, if, may, second, so, therefore, well, while, in fact, such as
Attributes: Values AverageValues Percentages(Values/AverageValues)% => Comments
Performance on Part of Speech:
To be verbs : 27.0 19.5258426966 138% => OK
Auxiliary verbs: 19.0 12.4196629213 153% => OK
Conjunction : 31.0 14.8657303371 209% => Less conjunction wanted
Relative clauses : 20.0 11.3162921348 177% => OK
Pronoun: 59.0 33.0505617978 179% => Less pronouns wanted
Preposition: 88.0 58.6224719101 150% => OK
Nominalization: 19.0 12.9106741573 147% => OK
Performance on vocabulary words:
No of characters: 3648.0 2235.4752809 163% => OK
No of words: 704.0 442.535393258 159% => Less content wanted.
Chars per words: 5.18181818182 5.05705443957 102% => OK
Fourth root words length: 5.1510191538 4.55969084622 113% => OK
Word Length SD: 3.16097066377 2.79657885939 113% => OK
Unique words: 372.0 215.323595506 173% => OK
Unique words percentage: 0.528409090909 0.4932671777 107% => OK
syllable_count: 1160.1 704.065955056 165% => OK
avg_syllables_per_word: 1.6 1.59117977528 101% => OK
A sentence (or a clause, phrase) starts by:
Pronoun: 17.0 6.24550561798 272% => Less pronouns wanted as sentence beginning.
Article: 8.0 4.99550561798 160% => OK
Subordination: 8.0 3.10617977528 258% => Less adverbial clause wanted.
Conjunction: 2.0 1.77640449438 113% => OK
Preposition: 5.0 4.38483146067 114% => OK
Performance on sentences:
How many sentences: 31.0 20.2370786517 153% => OK
Sentence length: 22.0 23.0359550562 96% => OK
Sentence length SD: 45.8916971445 60.3974514979 76% => OK
Chars per sentence: 117.677419355 118.986275619 99% => OK
Words per sentence: 22.7096774194 23.4991977007 97% => OK
Discourse Markers: 3.12903225806 5.21951772744 60% => More transition words/phrases wanted.
Paragraphs: 5.0 4.97078651685 101% => OK
Language errors: 3.0 7.80617977528 38% => OK
Sentences with positive sentiment : 21.0 10.2758426966 204% => Less positive sentences wanted.
Sentences with negative sentiment : 3.0 5.13820224719 58% => More negative sentences wanted.
Sentences with neutral sentiment: 7.0 4.83258426966 145% => OK
What are sentences with positive/Negative/neutral sentiment?
Coherence and Cohesion:
Essay topic to essay body coherence: 0.119031292622 0.243740707755 49% => OK
Sentence topic coherence: 0.0266196669995 0.0831039109588 32% => Sentence topic similarity is low.
Sentence topic coherence SD: 0.0292372073113 0.0758088955206 39% => Sentences are similar to each other.
Paragraph topic coherence: 0.0639222351288 0.150359130593 43% => OK
Paragraph topic coherence SD: 0.0255070321918 0.0667264976115 38% => Paragraphs are similar to each other. Some content may get duplicated or it is not exactly right on the topic.
Essay readability:
automated_readability_index: 14.3 14.1392134831 101% => OK
flesch_reading_ease: 49.15 48.8420337079 101% => OK
smog_index: 8.8 7.92365168539 111% => OK
flesch_kincaid_grade: 11.9 12.1743820225 98% => OK
coleman_liau_index: 13.06 12.1639044944 107% => OK
dale_chall_readability_score: 9.15 8.38706741573 109% => OK
difficult_words: 197.0 100.480337079 196% => OK
linsear_write_formula: 15.0 11.8971910112 126% => OK
gunning_fog: 10.8 11.2143820225 96% => OK
text_standard: 15.0 11.7820224719 127% => OK
What are above readability scores?
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Write the essay in 30 minutes.
Rates: 70.83 out of 100
Scores by essay e-grader: 4.25 Out of 6
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Note: the e-grader does NOT examine the meaning of words and ideas. VIP users will receive further evaluations by advanced module of e-grader and human graders.