The best way for a society to prepare its young people for leadership in government, industry, or other fields is by instilling in them a sense of cooperation, not competition.
Write a response in which you discuss the extent to which you agree or disagree with the claim. In developing and supporting your position, be sure to address the most compelling reasons and/or examples that could be used to challenge your position
In this competitive era, leadership constitutes the most important part for achieving goals and success in any sector. The prompt attempts to address this issue by proposing that the society must instill a sense of cooperation rather than competition to the youth for developing leadership in them. However, in my opinion, I mostly disagree with the notion and believe that youth should be competitive rather than cooperative in the present world to achieve success through leadership for two reasons. Nonetheless, I do concede that sometimes cooperation might help society to solve its problems in a few situations.
To embark, a sense of competition leads to the leadership among youth because a competitive men or women can success in every business and sectors through his/her capabilities. The competitive leader is able to run the business a any costs of difficulties and upheavals. For instance, Elon Musk - the CEO of Space-X and Tesla car- who is now among the world's richest person, is very competitive in his business that he successfully raised the so called down business of Tesla and Space-X to a height through competition with other car brands. If he was not competitive and rather became cooperative with other business firms, today the brand of Tesla and his other products won't flourish. Hence, societies should focus on developing sense of competition among youth.
The sense of competition not only develops leadership in the youth but also results in the formation and development of new inventions. For example, during Cold war between Russia and USA, at first Russia launched the human less rocket to the space, with the competing sense, USA launched the space rocket with human. This is the perfect example for the competition develops into new invention. In addition, sense of competition among the students lead them to acquire new knowledges and skills too. There is competition among students in a class for achieving higher grades, which leads them to develop leadership skills and techniques. Hence, competition is an important vehicle for developing leadership among students.
However, in few cases, like social works and volunteering, cooperation is valuable for achieving goals. For example, fighting with the COVID-19 pandemic needs cooperation among the nations and citizens globally to save the world from the disease. Though sense of competition among the countries also may result into development of the vaccine against the virus. Thus, I believe that societies should incorporate the sense of competition rather than cooperation.
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| 2024-11-28 | nha1806 | view | |
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Grammar and spelling errors:
Line 3, column 93, Rule ID: A_PLURAL[2]
Message: Don't use indefinite articles with plural words. Did you mean 'man'?
Suggestion: man
...rship among youth because a competitive men or women can success in every business ...
^^^
Line 3, column 229, Rule ID: EN_A_VS_AN
Message: Use 'an' instead of 'a' if the following word starts with a vowel sound, e.g. 'an article', 'an hour'
Suggestion: an
...tive leader is able to run the business a any costs of difficulties and upheavals...
^
Line 3, column 353, Rule ID: THE_SUPERLATIVE[2]
Message: A determiner is probably missing here: 'worlds the richest'.
Suggestion: worlds the richest
...e-X and Tesla car- who is now among the worlds richest person, is very competitive in his busi...
^^^^^^^^^^^^^^
Line 5, column 381, Rule ID: NEW_XX[1]
Message: Use simply 'invention'.
Suggestion: invention
...ample for the competition develops into new invention. In addition, sense of competition amon...
^^^^^^^^^^^^^
Line 7, column 248, Rule ID: SENTENCE_FRAGMENT[1]
Message: “Though” at the beginning of a sentence requires a 2nd clause. Maybe a comma, question or exclamation mark is missing, or the sentence is incomplete and should be joined with the following sentence.
...lly to save the world from the disease. Though sense of competition among the countrie...
^^^^^^
Transition Words or Phrases used:
also, but, first, hence, however, if, may, nonetheless, so, still, thus, for example, for instance, in addition, in my opinion
Attributes: Values AverageValues Percentages(Values/AverageValues)% => Comments
Performance on Part of Speech:
To be verbs : 9.0 19.5258426966 46% => More to be verbs wanted.
Auxiliary verbs: 7.0 12.4196629213 56% => OK
Conjunction : 16.0 14.8657303371 108% => OK
Relative clauses : 7.0 11.3162921348 62% => More relative clauses wanted.
Pronoun: 22.0 33.0505617978 67% => OK
Preposition: 66.0 58.6224719101 113% => OK
Nominalization: 22.0 12.9106741573 170% => OK
Performance on vocabulary words:
No of characters: 2174.0 2235.4752809 97% => OK
No of words: 406.0 442.535393258 92% => More content wanted.
Chars per words: 5.35467980296 5.05705443957 106% => OK
Fourth root words length: 4.48881294772 4.55969084622 98% => OK
Word Length SD: 2.903598973 2.79657885939 104% => OK
Unique words: 204.0 215.323595506 95% => More unique words wanted.
Unique words percentage: 0.502463054187 0.4932671777 102% => OK
syllable_count: 667.8 704.065955056 95% => OK
avg_syllables_per_word: 1.6 1.59117977528 101% => OK
A sentence (or a clause, phrase) starts by:
Pronoun: 4.0 6.24550561798 64% => OK
Article: 4.0 4.99550561798 80% => OK
Subordination: 2.0 3.10617977528 64% => OK
Conjunction: 0.0 1.77640449438 0% => OK
Preposition: 9.0 4.38483146067 205% => Less preposition wanted as sentence beginnings.
Performance on sentences:
How many sentences: 19.0 20.2370786517 94% => OK
Sentence length: 21.0 23.0359550562 91% => OK
Sentence length SD: 48.4068056844 60.3974514979 80% => OK
Chars per sentence: 114.421052632 118.986275619 96% => OK
Words per sentence: 21.3684210526 23.4991977007 91% => OK
Discourse Markers: 6.63157894737 5.21951772744 127% => OK
Paragraphs: 4.0 4.97078651685 80% => OK
Language errors: 5.0 7.80617977528 64% => OK
Sentences with positive sentiment : 9.0 10.2758426966 88% => OK
Sentences with negative sentiment : 3.0 5.13820224719 58% => More negative sentences wanted.
Sentences with neutral sentiment: 7.0 4.83258426966 145% => OK
What are sentences with positive/Negative/neutral sentiment?
Coherence and Cohesion:
Essay topic to essay body coherence: 0.240955301197 0.243740707755 99% => OK
Sentence topic coherence: 0.0903206500437 0.0831039109588 109% => OK
Sentence topic coherence SD: 0.0435991996796 0.0758088955206 58% => OK
Paragraph topic coherence: 0.160555310323 0.150359130593 107% => OK
Paragraph topic coherence SD: 0.0372714408524 0.0667264976115 56% => OK
Essay readability:
automated_readability_index: 14.5 14.1392134831 103% => OK
flesch_reading_ease: 50.16 48.8420337079 103% => OK
smog_index: 8.8 7.92365168539 111% => OK
flesch_kincaid_grade: 11.5 12.1743820225 94% => OK
coleman_liau_index: 13.75 12.1639044944 113% => OK
dale_chall_readability_score: 8.02 8.38706741573 96% => OK
difficult_words: 86.0 100.480337079 86% => OK
linsear_write_formula: 12.0 11.8971910112 101% => OK
gunning_fog: 10.4 11.2143820225 93% => OK
text_standard: 12.0 11.7820224719 102% => OK
What are above readability scores?
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Better to have 5/6 paragraphs with 3/4 arguments. And try always support/against one side but compare two sides, like this:
para 1: introduction
para 2: reason 1. address both of the views presented for reason 1
para 3: reason 2. address both of the views presented for reason 2
para 4: reason 3. address both of the views presented for reason 3
para 5: reason 4. address both of the views presented for reason 4 (optional)
para 6: conclusion.
Rates: 50.0 out of 100
Scores by essay e-grader: 3.0 Out of 6
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Note: the e-grader does NOT examine the meaning of words and ideas. VIP users will receive further evaluations by advanced module of e-grader and human graders.