The biggest goal of technological advancement is to enhance people’s leisure time.Write a response in which you discuss the extent to which you agree or disagree with the claim. In developing and supporting your position, be sure to address the most com

Essay topics:

The biggest goal of technological advancement is to enhance people’s leisure time.Write a response in which you discuss the extent to which you agree or disagree with the claim. In developing and supporting your position, be sure to address the most compelling reasons and/or examples that could be used to challenge your position.

The speaker claims that [the primary goal of technological development is to maximize our leisure time]. Basically, I agree with the speaker’s claim insofar as the term [technology] indicates [the application of scientific discovery]. The term “[technology]” tends to be interpreted in many different ways such as [technical methods] or [modifications of existing techniques]; therefore, defining the term is of vital importance in order to avoid rambling discussion. Having defined the term, it is now clear that [the primary purpose of technological advancement is to make our lives more convenient]. Indeed, If we look around with unprejudiced eyes, we notice that [technologies are solving various problems around us and making our lives convenient].

The chief reason for my agreement with the speaker is as follows: [Unlike achievement-oriented science, technology combines necessary scientific knowledge to make profit]. In other words, [technology is profit-oriented, and to be profitable, the technology must be beneficial to users]. Now if [a device or service created on the basis of a certain new technology does not meet any kind of users’ need whatsoever, the device or service will not make profit].

It must be obvious to anyone’s eyes that [such technological advancement has no realistic values] and if we analyze the [technological advancement taking place in the real world], we realize that [engineers and involved sectors are advancing technologies in such a way that they solve or alleviate problems we are currently experiencing]. This is the reason why I insist that [the primary goal of technological advancement is to make our lives efficient and increase our leisure time]. Let us consider two examples to further verify this assertion.

The first example is [technological advancement in the filed of transportation]. [A series of incessant technological advancements have produced a variety of transportation products – the bicycle, the car, the train, the airplane, to name a few. What the advent of these products, the embodiment of technologies, brought us was nothing but efficiency. Needless to say, efficiency in transportation allowed us to have a considerably larger amount of leisure time].

I next turn to the example of [communication technologies]. [The growth of communication technologies (the telephone, the cell phone, the fax machine, email, etc.) has led to their widespread diffusion and application, thus increasing their economic impact. Efficiency in terms of communication was greatly improved due to these new technologies. We are now able to communicate with each other instantly. Thanks to this swift communication, we are able to allocate an extra slot of our time for our leisure activities].

As shown in the two examples above, [technological advancement does indeed enhance the efficiency of our lives and allows us to have a significantly longer time for leisure activities]. Additionally, it must be noted that [these particular technologies have been created in response to a strong demand]. Had it been the case that [the maximum velocity of an airplane was considerably slower than that of car, who would have used it? In the first place, who would have invested billions of dollars for such absurd undertaking?] [Technologies are advanced because of a substantial demand, and as a result of their effectiveness, we acquire extra time for leisure activities that would be otherwise impossible to have].

In summary, I would like to stress that [technology’s value lies chiefly in its practical use]. [Biotechnology, medical technology, computer technology, nanotechnology, chemical technology, etc., each kind of technology solves a unique problem]. [Without having to worry about, or suffer because of these avoidable problems, we have extra time to do something else]. Thus, [the efficiency brought about by technological advancement maximizes our leisure time].

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Average: 6.6 (1 vote)
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Comments

Grammar and spelling errors:
Line 1, column 302, Rule ID: NUMEROUS_DIFFERENT[1]
Message: Use simply 'many'.
Suggestion: many
...ology]' tends to be interpreted in many different ways such as [technical methods] or [mo...
^^^^^^^^^^^^^^
Line 11, column 718, Rule ID: WHITESPACE_RULE
Message: Possible typo: you repeated a whitespace
Suggestion:
...would be otherwise impossible to have]. In summary, I would like to stress that ...
^^^^^

Transition Words or Phrases used:
but, first, if, look, so, therefore, thus, in summary, kind of, such as, as a result, in other words, in the first place

Attributes: Values AverageValues Percentages(Values/AverageValues)% => Comments

Performance on Part of Speech:
To be verbs : 26.0 19.5258426966 133% => OK
Auxiliary verbs: 9.0 12.4196629213 72% => OK
Conjunction : 14.0 14.8657303371 94% => OK
Relative clauses : 14.0 11.3162921348 124% => OK
Pronoun: 57.0 33.0505617978 172% => Less pronouns wanted
Preposition: 77.0 58.6224719101 131% => OK
Nominalization: 24.0 12.9106741573 186% => OK

Performance on vocabulary words:
No of characters: 3377.0 2235.4752809 151% => OK
No of words: 602.0 442.535393258 136% => Less content wanted.
Chars per words: 5.6096345515 5.05705443957 111% => OK
Fourth root words length: 4.95335121839 4.55969084622 109% => OK
Word Length SD: 3.58419606156 2.79657885939 128% => OK
Unique words: 312.0 215.323595506 145% => OK
Unique words percentage: 0.518272425249 0.4932671777 105% => OK
syllable_count: 1071.0 704.065955056 152% => OK
avg_syllables_per_word: 1.8 1.59117977528 113% => OK

A sentence (or a clause, phrase) starts by:
Pronoun: 13.0 6.24550561798 208% => Less pronouns wanted as sentence beginning.
Article: 12.0 4.99550561798 240% => Less articles wanted as sentence beginning.
Subordination: 2.0 3.10617977528 64% => OK
Conjunction: 3.0 1.77640449438 169% => OK
Preposition: 4.0 4.38483146067 91% => OK

Performance on sentences:
How many sentences: 29.0 20.2370786517 143% => OK
Sentence length: 20.0 23.0359550562 87% => OK
Sentence length SD: 63.2114207234 60.3974514979 105% => OK
Chars per sentence: 116.448275862 118.986275619 98% => OK
Words per sentence: 20.7586206897 23.4991977007 88% => OK
Discourse Markers: 4.13793103448 5.21951772744 79% => OK
Paragraphs: 7.0 4.97078651685 141% => Less paragraphs wanted.
Language errors: 2.0 7.80617977528 26% => OK
Sentences with positive sentiment : 16.0 10.2758426966 156% => OK
Sentences with negative sentiment : 5.0 5.13820224719 97% => OK
Sentences with neutral sentiment: 8.0 4.83258426966 166% => OK
What are sentences with positive/Negative/neutral sentiment?

Coherence and Cohesion:
Essay topic to essay body coherence: 0.188876409284 0.243740707755 77% => OK
Sentence topic coherence: 0.0586459897825 0.0831039109588 71% => OK
Sentence topic coherence SD: 0.0480479635506 0.0758088955206 63% => OK
Paragraph topic coherence: 0.100970482388 0.150359130593 67% => OK
Paragraph topic coherence SD: 0.0352009859868 0.0667264976115 53% => OK

Essay readability:
automated_readability_index: 15.4 14.1392134831 109% => OK
flesch_reading_ease: 34.26 48.8420337079 70% => OK
smog_index: 11.2 7.92365168539 141% => OK
flesch_kincaid_grade: 13.5 12.1743820225 111% => OK
coleman_liau_index: 15.26 12.1639044944 125% => OK
dale_chall_readability_score: 8.98 8.38706741573 107% => OK
difficult_words: 166.0 100.480337079 165% => OK
linsear_write_formula: 13.0 11.8971910112 109% => OK
gunning_fog: 10.0 11.2143820225 89% => OK
text_standard: 16.0 11.7820224719 136% => OK
What are above readability scores?

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Maximum six paragraphs wanted.

Rates: 66.67 out of 100
Scores by essay e-grader: 4.0 Out of 6
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Note: the e-grader does NOT examine the meaning of words and ideas. VIP users will receive further evaluations by advanced module of e-grader and human graders.