Claim: In any field—business, politics, education, government—those in power should step down after five years.
Reason: The surest path to success for any enterprise is revitalization through new leadership.
The author says that any leadership have to step down after five years in any field because the revitalization through new leadership is most definite way to success for any enterprise. It seems plausible, however, this statement may be too generalized to be accepted for us in any circumstances in leadership because of the reasons I would like to elaborate at the following essay.
Admittedly, in certain circumstances, the leadership should be supplanted by a new enterprise according to the famous maxim, “Absolute power corrupts absolutely.” In many historical examples, the axiom had been heard very correctly. The dictatorships during 20th century or absolute monarchy in ancient and medieval age is the most representative instance to prove the statement is clearly true. For example, in South Korea, the military dictatorship had regimed during about thrity years from 1961 to 1987, until the civil democratic movement had successed finally. During the regime, many corruption scandal related to politics and business had been occurred thus much national system had been used in favor of their leadership, not for the entire citizens. The enterprise in field of business had been also sustained in very long-term period, thus called ‘Jaebeol’ which means the operating leadership in a group of company only based on the owner’s family. Nevertheless Samsung, one of the most powerful Jaebeol in S. Korea, has achieved significant achievement in its field, however, its corruption scandal with the former South Korean president Park Geun-Hye was the consequential factor for the impeachment of her in 2017. In summary, the author’s statement asserting the revitalization of leadership seems quite apropos in certain circumstances.
However, the period of five years may be too short to achieve phenomenal exploits when the leadership is incumbent. That’s actually why discussion about necessity to make longer the remainder of South Korean president – only five years and cannot be reelected. The Sunshine Policy, which was a ingenious trial to have a beneficial, reciprocal relationship with North Korea during the presidency of Kim Dae-Jung, had been sustained in ten years, when the liberal party had regimed. The new policy had achieved many peaceful actions for denuclearization in Korean peninsula, and he awarded the Novel Peace Prize in 2000, the policy finally was stupefied after 2007, when the conserative regime win the presidential election. On the other hand, Ostpolitik, which led West Germany to reconcile with Communist countries including East Germany, had been acted during about 25 years from the inauguration of Willy Brandt to the reunification of Germany in 1990.
In conclusion, the statement that empathizes the change of leadership by new enterprise seems compelling, however, in the lights of counterparts above, the topic cannot be fully agreed with.
- Claim: In any field—business, politics, education, government—those in power should step down after five years.Reason: The surest path to success for any enterprise is revitalization through new leadership. 66
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Grammar and spelling errors:
Line 5, column 988, Rule ID: SENT_START_CONJUNCTIVE_LINKING_ADVERB_COMMA[1]
Message: Did you forget a comma after a conjunctive/linking adverb?
Suggestion: Nevertheless,
... only based on the owner's family. Nevertheless Samsung, one of the most powerful Jaebe...
^^^^^^^^^^^^
Line 9, column 299, Rule ID: EN_A_VS_AN
Message: Use 'an' instead of 'a' if the following word starts with a vowel sound, e.g. 'an article', 'an hour'
Suggestion: an
...elected. The Sunshine Policy, which was a ingenious trial to have a beneficial, r...
^
Transition Words or Phrases used:
actually, also, finally, however, if, may, nevertheless, so, thus, for example, in conclusion, in summary, on the other hand
Attributes: Values AverageValues Percentages(Values/AverageValues)% => Comments
Performance on Part of Speech:
To be verbs : 19.0 19.5258426966 97% => OK
Auxiliary verbs: 6.0 12.4196629213 48% => OK
Conjunction : 5.0 14.8657303371 34% => More conjunction wanted.
Relative clauses : 8.0 11.3162921348 71% => More relative clauses wanted.
Pronoun: 11.0 33.0505617978 33% => OK
Preposition: 75.0 58.6224719101 128% => OK
Nominalization: 16.0 12.9106741573 124% => OK
Performance on vocabulary words:
No of characters: 2489.0 2235.4752809 111% => OK
No of words: 449.0 442.535393258 101% => OK
Chars per words: 5.5434298441 5.05705443957 110% => OK
Fourth root words length: 4.60321845022 4.55969084622 101% => OK
Word Length SD: 3.20016876951 2.79657885939 114% => OK
Unique words: 253.0 215.323595506 117% => OK
Unique words percentage: 0.563474387528 0.4932671777 114% => OK
syllable_count: 771.3 704.065955056 110% => OK
avg_syllables_per_word: 1.7 1.59117977528 107% => OK
A sentence (or a clause, phrase) starts by:
Pronoun: 3.0 6.24550561798 48% => OK
Article: 13.0 4.99550561798 260% => Less articles wanted as sentence beginning.
Subordination: 3.0 3.10617977528 97% => OK
Conjunction: 1.0 1.77640449438 56% => OK
Preposition: 9.0 4.38483146067 205% => Less preposition wanted as sentence beginnings.
Performance on sentences:
How many sentences: 16.0 20.2370786517 79% => Need more sentences. Double check the format of sentences, make sure there is a space between two sentences, or have enough periods. And also check the lengths of sentences, maybe they are too long.
Sentence length: 28.0 23.0359550562 122% => The Avg. Sentence Length is relatively long.
Sentence length SD: 47.9087674648 60.3974514979 79% => OK
Chars per sentence: 155.5625 118.986275619 131% => OK
Words per sentence: 28.0625 23.4991977007 119% => OK
Discourse Markers: 7.75 5.21951772744 148% => OK
Paragraphs: 4.0 4.97078651685 80% => OK
Language errors: 2.0 7.80617977528 26% => OK
Sentences with positive sentiment : 9.0 10.2758426966 88% => OK
Sentences with negative sentiment : 4.0 5.13820224719 78% => OK
Sentences with neutral sentiment: 3.0 4.83258426966 62% => OK
What are sentences with positive/Negative/neutral sentiment?
Coherence and Cohesion:
Essay topic to essay body coherence: 0.210571102389 0.243740707755 86% => OK
Sentence topic coherence: 0.0705344224505 0.0831039109588 85% => OK
Sentence topic coherence SD: 0.0999492471368 0.0758088955206 132% => OK
Paragraph topic coherence: 0.147370532631 0.150359130593 98% => OK
Paragraph topic coherence SD: 0.122783201351 0.0667264976115 184% => OK
Essay readability:
automated_readability_index: 18.7 14.1392134831 132% => OK
flesch_reading_ease: 34.6 48.8420337079 71% => OK
smog_index: 11.2 7.92365168539 141% => OK
flesch_kincaid_grade: 15.4 12.1743820225 126% => OK
coleman_liau_index: 15.15 12.1639044944 125% => OK
dale_chall_readability_score: 9.91 8.38706741573 118% => OK
difficult_words: 139.0 100.480337079 138% => OK
linsear_write_formula: 15.0 11.8971910112 126% => OK
gunning_fog: 13.2 11.2143820225 118% => OK
text_standard: 15.0 11.7820224719 127% => OK
What are above readability scores?
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Better to have 5/6 paragraphs with 3/4 arguments. And try always support/against one side but compare two sides, like this:
para 1: introduction
para 2: reason 1. address both of the views presented for reason 1
para 3: reason 2. address both of the views presented for reason 2
para 4: reason 3. address both of the views presented for reason 3
para 5: reason 4. address both of the views presented for reason 4 (optional)
para 6: conclusion.
Rates: 66.67 out of 100
Scores by essay e-grader: 4.0 Out of 6
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Note: the e-grader does NOT examine the meaning of words and ideas. VIP users will receive further evaluations by advanced module of e-grader and human graders.