Claim: Even though young people often receive the advice to “follow your dreams,” more emphasis should be placed on picking worthy goals.
Reason: Many people’s dreams are inherently selfish.
As the education system is developing, students are motivated to follow their dream. They are told to do what they love to do. I do not totally agree with this. Yes, young people should be told to follow their dreams but if it is also doing something great for the society rather than only himself. Author claims that many people's dreams are inherently selfish, which is not true. Nobody is born selfish. people become selfish due to the atmosphere around them and action of their elders which shape their thinking.
young people should live in the positive environment where everyone helps others and do what is good for others.They should be taught subjects like sustainable development, poverty, education for all and other social causes in deep so that they grow attachment for these things and form their dream in a way which benefits others. There are many non profit organisations like M.A.D, Ed for all etc. who work ardently for the development of the society. Young people should be kept in that environment so that they form love for these social causes and plan their future accordingly.
Young people should not always receive the advice to follow their dreams. If a person's dream is to become a criminal and do malicious work then he should not be motivated to do so, rather he should be dissuaded and thought to do better for the society. people with evil thought should be given treatment from psychiatrist and help them to expunge the evil thoughts. This way we can keep our society clean for the evil minded people and bring positivity in our life.
And on the other hand, if a child wants to become a researcher and work for the innovations and development of the society sustainably, he should be motivated and be given proper tutelage to do so. He should be supported in every form so that it increases his confidence and he further motivate others to follow his path.
Young generation is the future of our mother Earth and they should be given the right education in the schools and from elders with whom they are surrounded and should be constantly motivated to form the dream and vocation for the development of the society. so i agree with statement that young people should be given the advice to follow their dream but with better guidance from their elders.
| Post date | Users | Rates | Link to Content |
|---|---|---|---|
| 2019-03-16 | mises_tresca | 39 | view |
| 2016-07-10 | isjuneja94 | 50 | view |
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- TOEFL integrated writing: Altruism. 3
Grammar and spelling errors:
Line 1, column 406, Rule ID: UPPERCASE_SENTENCE_START
Message: This sentence does not start with an uppercase letter
Suggestion: People
...ch is not true. Nobody is born selfish. people become selfish due to the atmosphere ar...
^^^^^^
Line 3, column 2, Rule ID: UPPERCASE_SENTENCE_START
Message: This sentence does not start with an uppercase letter
Suggestion: Young
... elders which shape their thinking. young people should live in the positive envi...
^^^^^
Line 3, column 114, Rule ID: SENTENCE_WHITESPACE
Message: Add a space between sentences
Suggestion: They
...s others and do what is good for others.They should be taught subjects like sustain...
^^^^
Line 3, column 135, Rule ID: WHITESPACE_RULE
Message: Possible typo: you repeated a whitespace
Suggestion:
...is good for others.They should be taught subjects like sustainable development, p...
^^
Line 3, column 383, Rule ID: SENTENCE_WHITESPACE
Message: Add a space between sentences
Suggestion: D
... many non profit organisations like M.A.D, Ed for all etc. who work ardently for ...
^
Line 4, column 1, Rule ID: WHITESPACE_RULE
Message: Possible typo: you repeated a whitespace
Suggestion:
...ses and plan their future accordingly. Young people should not always receive t...
^^^
Line 5, column 254, Rule ID: UPPERCASE_SENTENCE_START
Message: This sentence does not start with an uppercase letter
Suggestion: People
...d thought to do better for the society. people with evil thought should be given treat...
^^^^^^
Line 7, column 287, Rule ID: HE_VERB_AGR[3]
Message: The pronoun 'he' must be used with a third-person verb: 'motivates'.
Suggestion: motivates
...increases his confidence and he further motivate others to follow his path. Young gen...
^^^^^^^^
Line 9, column 260, Rule ID: UPPERCASE_SENTENCE_START
Message: This sentence does not start with an uppercase letter
Suggestion: So
...ion for the development of the society. so i agree with statement that young peopl...
^^
Line 9, column 263, Rule ID: I_LOWERCASE[2]
Message: Did you mean 'I'?
Suggestion: I
... for the development of the society. so i agree with statement that young people ...
^
Discourse Markers used:
['accordingly', 'also', 'but', 'if', 'so', 'then', 'on the other hand']
Attributes: Values AverageValues Percentages(Values/AverageValues)% => Comments
Performance in Part of Speech:
Nouns: 0.218309859155 0.240241500013 91% => OK
Verbs: 0.18544600939 0.157235817809 118% => OK
Adjectives: 0.0774647887324 0.0880659088768 88% => OK
Adverbs: 0.0492957746479 0.0497285424764 99% => OK
Pronouns: 0.075117370892 0.0444667217837 169% => Less pronouns wanted. Try not to use 'you, I, they, he...' as the subject of a sentence
Prepositions: 0.110328638498 0.12292977631 90% => OK
Participles: 0.0422535211268 0.0406280797675 104% => OK
Conjunctions: 2.47565990135 2.79330140395 89% => OK
Infinitives: 0.0352112676056 0.030933414821 114% => OK
Particles: 0.0 0.0016655270985 0% => OK
Determiners: 0.0774647887324 0.0997080785238 78% => OK
Modal_auxiliary: 0.0328638497653 0.0249443105267 132% => OK
WH_determiners: 0.018779342723 0.0148568991511 126% => OK
Vocabulary words and sentences:
No of characters: 2297.0 2732.02544248 84% => OK
No of words: 398.0 452.878318584 88% => OK
Chars per words: 5.77135678392 6.0361032391 96% => OK
Fourth root words length: 4.46653527281 4.58838876751 97% => OK
words length more than 5 chars: 0.339195979899 0.366273622748 93% => OK
words length more than 6 chars: 0.183417085427 0.280924506359 65% => OK
words length more than 7 chars: 0.143216080402 0.200843997647 71% => OK
words length more than 8 chars: 0.0979899497487 0.132149295362 74% => OK
Word Length SD: 2.47565990135 2.79330140395 89% => OK
Unique words: 177.0 219.290929204 81% => More unique words wanted.
Unique words percentage: 0.44472361809 0.48968727796 91% => OK
Word variations: 47.1573685747 55.4138127331 85% => OK
How many sentences: 19.0 20.6194690265 92% => OK
Sentence length: 20.9473684211 23.380412469 90% => OK
Sentence length SD: 75.9602243195 59.4972553346 128% => OK
Chars per sentence: 120.894736842 141.124799967 86% => OK
Words per sentence: 20.9473684211 23.380412469 90% => OK
Discourse Markers: 0.368421052632 0.674092028746 55% => OK
Paragraphs: 5.0 4.94800884956 101% => OK
Language errors: 10.0 5.21349557522 192% => Correct essay format wanted or double check grammar & spelling issues after essay writing.
Readability: 39.2890769638 51.4728631049 76% => OK
Elegance: 1.19696969697 1.64882698954 73% => OK
Coherence and Cohesion:
Essay topic to essay body coherence: 0.265951975657 0.391690518653 68% => OK
Sentence sentence coherence: 0.126440554881 0.123202303941 103% => OK
Sentence sentence coherence SD: 0.0625894128494 0.077325440228 81% => OK
Sentence paragraph coherence: 0.523193100536 0.547984918172 95% => OK
Sentence paragraph coherence SD: 0.197646144574 0.149214159877 132% => OK
Sentence topic coherence: 0.117996196364 0.161403998019 73% => OK
Sentence topic coherence SD: 0.083673436491 0.0892212321368 94% => OK
Paragraph paragraph coherence: 0.36740464493 0.385218514788 95% => OK
Paragraph paragraph coherence SD: 0.100322027737 0.0692045440612 145% => OK
Paragraph topic coherence: 0.186665852708 0.275328986314 68% => OK
Paragraph topic coherence SD: 0.0590642410816 0.0653680567796 90% => OK
Task Achievement:
Sentences with positive sentiment : 12.0 10.4325221239 115% => OK
Sentences with negative sentiment : 6.0 5.30420353982 113% => OK
Sentences with neutral sentiment: 1.0 4.88274336283 20% => More neutral sentences wanted.
Positive topic words: 10.0 7.22455752212 138% => OK
Negative topic words: 4.0 3.66592920354 109% => OK
Neutral topic words: 0.0 2.70907079646 0% => More neutral topic words wanted.
Total topic words: 14.0 13.5995575221 103% => OK
What are sentences with positive/Negative/neutral sentiment?
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Rates: 50.0 out of 100
Scores by essay e-grader: 3.0 Out of 6
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Note: the e-grader does NOT examine the meaning of words and ideas. VIP users will receive further evaluations by advanced module of e-grader and human graders.