Claim: The surest indicator of a great nation must be the achievements of its rulers, artists, or scientists.
Reason: Great achievements by a nation's rulers, artists, or scientists will ensure a good life for the majority of that nation's people.
Write a response in which you discuss the extent to which you agree or disagree with the claim and the reason on which that claim is based.
There are two types of great nations: a nation with highest influence into human culture - which I call "cultural-superior nation" and a nation with greatest welfare for all of its people - which will be called "welfare-superior nation". Although both concepts are related, they are not necessarily coincide. I agree that the achivements of rulers, artists and scientists of a nation is a surest indicator for a cultural-superior nation, but not for a welfare-superior nation. Therefore, both concepts are independent of each other. Some critics may argue that both concepts are strongly related, but I will refute their counterclaims.
First, welfare-superiority does not necessarily mean the cultural-superiority. Even if welfare is provided in a proper way, there motivation for science or art could be lacked. In that case, welfare does not provide the development of science or art in the nation, and their cultural influence could not reach the human culture.
The possible refutation is, social welfare is necessary to work artists and scientists properly, because they could not produce a work without financial stability. However, Soviet Union and People Rupblic of China tried to provide equal welfare to their people. However, they also supresses artstic activities, so it could not developed and their cultural power could not exceed that of the United States.
Second, achievements of rulers, creators and scholars could not measure whether a nation is a welfare-superior nation or not. As mentioned, retaining highest achivements does not mean it can be distributed equally. There is a possible refutation: achievements of these individuals are necessary to maintain a social welfare. They may argue, for example, that people in the society could not maintain their well-beings if rulers governs their nations in an unstable way, or scientists do not develop techniques for human beings like vaccines. However, people in the society could not enjoy their outputs if the government does not provide its benifits in a proper way. The United States is a good example: they has lots of scientists and doctors who can develop a new medicines and treatments. However, most of citizens cannot enjoy it because of their high prices. If the United States has a well-formed welfare, the price should be lower than now.
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Grammar and spelling errors:
Line 1, column 48, Rule ID: THE_SUPERLATIVE[2]
Message: A determiner is probably missing here: 'with the highest'.
Suggestion: with the highest
...re two types of great nations: a nation with highest influence into human culture - which I ...
^^^^^^^^^^^^
Line 1, column 155, Rule ID: THE_SUPERLATIVE[2]
Message: A determiner is probably missing here: 'with the greatest'.
Suggestion: with the greatest
...ural-superior nation' and a nation with greatest welfare for all of its people - which w...
^^^^^^^^^^^^^
Line 1, column 408, Rule ID: THE_SUPERLATIVE[1]
Message: Use 'the' with the superlative.
Suggestion: the
..., artists and scientists of a nation is a surest indicator for a cultural-superio...
^
Line 2, column 107, Rule ID: IN_A_X_MANNER[1]
Message: Consider replacing "in a proper way" with adverb for "proper"; eg, "in a hasty manner" with "hastily".
...uperiority. Even if welfare is provided in a proper way, there motivation for science or art co...
^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^
Line 3, column 327, Rule ID: DID_BASEFORM[1]
Message: The verb 'could' requires the base form of the verb: 'develop'
Suggestion: develop
...ses artstic activities, so it could not developed and their cultural power could not exce...
^^^^^^^^^
Line 4, column 450, Rule ID: IN_A_X_MANNER[1]
Message: Consider replacing "in an unstable way" with adverb for "unstable"; eg, "in a hasty manner" with "hastily".
...-beings if rulers governs their nations in an unstable way, or scientists do not develop technique...
^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^
Line 4, column 651, Rule ID: IN_A_X_MANNER[1]
Message: Consider replacing "in a proper way" with adverb for "proper"; eg, "in a hasty manner" with "hastily".
...overnment does not provide its benifits in a proper way. The United States is a good example: t...
^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^
Line 4, column 710, Rule ID: NON3PRS_VERB[2]
Message: The pronoun 'they' must be used with a non-third-person form of a verb: 'have'
Suggestion: have
...e United States is a good example: they has lots of scientists and doctors who can ...
^^^
Line 4, column 802, Rule ID: MOST_SOME_OF_NNS[1]
Message: After 'most of', you should use 'the' ('most of the citizens') or simply say ''most citizens''.
Suggestion: most of the citizens; most citizens
... new medicines and treatments. However, most of citizens cannot enjoy it because of their high p...
^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^
Transition Words or Phrases used:
also, but, first, however, if, may, second, so, therefore, well, for example
Attributes: Values AverageValues Percentages(Values/AverageValues)% => Comments
Performance on Part of Speech:
To be verbs : 17.0 19.5258426966 87% => OK
Auxiliary verbs: 16.0 12.4196629213 129% => OK
Conjunction : 15.0 14.8657303371 101% => OK
Relative clauses : 8.0 11.3162921348 71% => More relative clauses wanted.
Pronoun: 27.0 33.0505617978 82% => OK
Preposition: 29.0 58.6224719101 49% => More preposition wanted.
Nominalization: 9.0 12.9106741573 70% => OK
Performance on vocabulary words:
No of characters: 1977.0 2235.4752809 88% => OK
No of words: 367.0 442.535393258 83% => More content wanted.
Chars per words: 5.38692098093 5.05705443957 107% => OK
Fourth root words length: 4.37689890912 4.55969084622 96% => OK
Word Length SD: 3.37653933971 2.79657885939 121% => OK
Unique words: 183.0 215.323595506 85% => More unique words wanted.
Unique words percentage: 0.49863760218 0.4932671777 101% => OK
syllable_count: 615.6 704.065955056 87% => OK
avg_syllables_per_word: 1.7 1.59117977528 107% => OK
A sentence (or a clause, phrase) starts by:
Pronoun: 5.0 6.24550561798 80% => OK
Article: 3.0 4.99550561798 60% => OK
Subordination: 5.0 3.10617977528 161% => OK
Conjunction: 5.0 1.77640449438 281% => Less conjunction wanted as sentence beginning.
Preposition: 1.0 4.38483146067 23% => More preposition wanted as sentence beginning.
Performance on sentences:
How many sentences: 19.0 20.2370786517 94% => OK
Sentence length: 19.0 23.0359550562 82% => The Avg. Sentence Length is relatively short.
Sentence length SD: 50.417481469 60.3974514979 83% => OK
Chars per sentence: 104.052631579 118.986275619 87% => OK
Words per sentence: 19.3157894737 23.4991977007 82% => OK
Discourse Markers: 4.0 5.21951772744 77% => OK
Paragraphs: 4.0 4.97078651685 80% => OK
Language errors: 9.0 7.80617977528 115% => OK
Sentences with positive sentiment : 6.0 10.2758426966 58% => More positive sentences wanted.
Sentences with negative sentiment : 5.0 5.13820224719 97% => OK
Sentences with neutral sentiment: 8.0 4.83258426966 166% => OK
What are sentences with positive/Negative/neutral sentiment?
Coherence and Cohesion:
Essay topic to essay body coherence: 0.270373417927 0.243740707755 111% => OK
Sentence topic coherence: 0.0717769373945 0.0831039109588 86% => OK
Sentence topic coherence SD: 0.0912010767943 0.0758088955206 120% => OK
Paragraph topic coherence: 0.146979841438 0.150359130593 98% => OK
Paragraph topic coherence SD: 0.0968069308535 0.0667264976115 145% => OK
Essay readability:
automated_readability_index: 13.6 14.1392134831 96% => OK
flesch_reading_ease: 43.73 48.8420337079 90% => OK
smog_index: 8.8 7.92365168539 111% => OK
flesch_kincaid_grade: 11.9 12.1743820225 98% => OK
coleman_liau_index: 13.98 12.1639044944 115% => OK
dale_chall_readability_score: 8.88 8.38706741573 106% => OK
difficult_words: 100.0 100.480337079 100% => OK
linsear_write_formula: 12.0 11.8971910112 101% => OK
gunning_fog: 9.6 11.2143820225 86% => OK
text_standard: 14.0 11.7820224719 119% => OK
What are above readability scores?
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Better to have 5/6 paragraphs with 3/4 arguments. And try always support/against one side but compare two sides, like this:
para 1: introduction
para 2: reason 1. address both of the views presented for reason 1
para 3: reason 2. address both of the views presented for reason 2
para 4: reason 3. address both of the views presented for reason 3
para 5: reason 4. address both of the views presented for reason 4 (optional)
para 6: conclusion.
Rates: 66.67 out of 100
Scores by essay e-grader: 4.0 Out of 6
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Note: the e-grader does NOT examine the meaning of words and ideas. VIP users will receive further evaluations by advanced module of e-grader and human graders.