The issue of whether or not financial gain should be the most important factor in choosing a career is a contentious one. Each side of the argument has its strengths and weaknesses. Nevertheless, I mostly disagree with the opinion that financial gain should be the most important factor in choosing a career and would argue that choosing a career should be done in a holistic manner.
First of all, an employee is paid for the level of expertise he/she has in his/her respective field. A more skilled and expert accountant may get paid more than a software engineer who lacks skills. In order to be skillful in any particular profession a person needs to love that profession. If a person does not like working in a particular professoion, they he would not be able to concentrate his mind on this. Even if he is able to concentrate by force this would not be durable. Because human beings are most of the time driven by imagination rather than will power which starts to deplete after a certain time. For example, a student who loves automobiles, has passion to build robots or drones chooses Computer science or software engineering as his/her major field of study then it is possible that he/she would not find any delight in studying the complex theories of software engineering. Although Software engineers are paid highly, if the student upon graduation from college lacks skill then he would have a hard time searching for jobs rather than earning more than average mechanical engineer;.If the same student had studied mechanical engineering then he might have amassed skills necessary for a mechanical engineering career and would have been able to reach the superlative level of expertise. Hence all the evidences demonstrate that there are so many other factors apart from financial gain which has a significant role in career decision process.
Secondly, financial gain is not everything in human life. Apart from financial gains there are so many things in human life. It is true that without financial solvency a person would not be able to lead his life freely, he would be bereft from the luxuries that life offers. But financial gain does not necessarily ensure his/her mental peace. For example, a student who loved astrophysics chose Medicine as his profession would may earn more in the long run. But he has to sacrifice his dream of pursuing astrophysics. This avaricious decision would may make his life incomplete. Both common sense and personal experience tell us that financial gain should not be the single most important factor while making career choice.
In conclusion, although financial gain is one of the major factors of choosing career, it is not the single most important thing. A holistic approach consisting of the person's individual choice along with financial gain would make the decision making process best.
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- Financial gain should be the most important factor in choosing a career 66
- Several recent studies have shown a link between health and stair usage One recently completed study shows that people who live in stairs only apartment buildings that is buildings without elevators live an average of three years longer than do people who 58
Grammar and spelling errors:
Line 1, column 14, Rule ID: WHETHER[7]
Message: Perhaps you can shorten this phrase to just 'whether'. It is correct though if you mean 'regardless of whether'.
Suggestion: whether
The issue of whether or not financial gain should be the most impor...
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Line 1, column 214, Rule ID: WHITESPACE_RULE
Message: Possible typo: you repeated a whitespace
Suggestion:
...knesses. Nevertheless, I mostly disagree with the opinion that financial gain sho...
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Line 1, column 364, Rule ID: IN_A_X_MANNER[1]
Message: Consider replacing "in a holistic manner" with adverb for "holistic"; eg, "in a hasty manner" with "hastily".
...e that choosing a career should be done in a holistic manner. First of all, an employee is paid ...
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Line 1, column 368, Rule ID: WHITESPACE_RULE
Message: Possible typo: you repeated a whitespace
Suggestion:
...at choosing a career should be done in a holistic manner. First of all, an em...
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Line 3, column 51, Rule ID: WHITESPACE_RULE
Message: Possible typo: you repeated a whitespace
Suggestion:
...ll, an employee is paid for the level of expertise he/she has in his/her respecti...
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Line 3, column 416, Rule ID: SENTENCE_FRAGMENT[2]
Message: “Even if” at the beginning of a sentence requires a 2nd clause. Maybe a comma, question or exclamation mark is missing, or the sentence is incomplete and should be joined with the following sentence.
...e able to concentrate his mind on this. Even if he is able to concentrate by force this...
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Line 3, column 631, Rule ID: WHITESPACE_RULE
Message: Possible typo: you repeated a whitespace
Suggestion:
...plete after a certain time. For example, a student who loves automobiles, has pas...
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Line 3, column 1112, Rule ID: SENTENCE_WHITESPACE
Message: Add a space between sentences
Suggestion: If
... more than average mechanical engineer;.If the same student had studied mechanical...
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Line 3, column 1317, Rule ID: SENT_START_CONJUNCTIVE_LINKING_ADVERB_COMMA[1]
Message: Did you forget a comma after a conjunctive/linking adverb?
Suggestion: Hence,
...ach the superlative level of expertise. Hence all the evidences demonstrate that ther...
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Transition Words or Phrases used:
but, first, hence, if, may, nevertheless, second, secondly, so, then, while, apart from, as to, for example, in conclusion, first of all, it is true
Attributes: Values AverageValues Percentages(Values/AverageValues)% => Comments
Performance on Part of Speech:
To be verbs : 22.0 19.5258426966 113% => OK
Auxiliary verbs: 20.0 12.4196629213 161% => OK
Conjunction : 10.0 14.8657303371 67% => OK
Relative clauses : 13.0 11.3162921348 115% => OK
Pronoun: 39.0 33.0505617978 118% => OK
Preposition: 47.0 58.6224719101 80% => OK
Nominalization: 5.0 12.9106741573 39% => More nominalizations (nouns with a suffix like: tion ment ence ance) wanted.
Performance on vocabulary words:
No of characters: 2383.0 2235.4752809 107% => OK
No of words: 474.0 442.535393258 107% => OK
Chars per words: 5.02742616034 5.05705443957 99% => OK
Fourth root words length: 4.66599839874 4.55969084622 102% => OK
Word Length SD: 2.71462591555 2.79657885939 97% => OK
Unique words: 230.0 215.323595506 107% => OK
Unique words percentage: 0.485232067511 0.4932671777 98% => OK
syllable_count: 739.8 704.065955056 105% => OK
avg_syllables_per_word: 1.6 1.59117977528 101% => OK
A sentence (or a clause, phrase) starts by:
Pronoun: 6.0 6.24550561798 96% => OK
Article: 6.0 4.99550561798 120% => OK
Subordination: 7.0 3.10617977528 225% => Less adverbial clause wanted.
Conjunction: 2.0 1.77640449438 113% => OK
Preposition: 3.0 4.38483146067 68% => OK
Performance on sentences:
How many sentences: 22.0 20.2370786517 109% => OK
Sentence length: 21.0 23.0359550562 91% => OK
Sentence length SD: 81.4570438943 60.3974514979 135% => OK
Chars per sentence: 108.318181818 118.986275619 91% => OK
Words per sentence: 21.5454545455 23.4991977007 92% => OK
Discourse Markers: 6.72727272727 5.21951772744 129% => OK
Paragraphs: 4.0 4.97078651685 80% => OK
Language errors: 9.0 7.80617977528 115% => OK
Sentences with positive sentiment : 15.0 10.2758426966 146% => OK
Sentences with negative sentiment : 4.0 5.13820224719 78% => OK
Sentences with neutral sentiment: 3.0 4.83258426966 62% => OK
What are sentences with positive/Negative/neutral sentiment?
Coherence and Cohesion:
Essay topic to essay body coherence: 0.440666441586 0.243740707755 181% => OK
Sentence topic coherence: 0.158963329818 0.0831039109588 191% => OK
Sentence topic coherence SD: 0.221741314927 0.0758088955206 293% => The coherence between sentences is low.
Paragraph topic coherence: 0.386950781201 0.150359130593 257% => Maybe some contents are duplicated.
Paragraph topic coherence SD: 0.239582483459 0.0667264976115 359% => More connections among paragraphs wanted.
Essay readability:
automated_readability_index: 13.0 14.1392134831 92% => Automated_readability_index is low.
flesch_reading_ease: 50.16 48.8420337079 103% => OK
smog_index: 8.8 7.92365168539 111% => OK
flesch_kincaid_grade: 11.5 12.1743820225 94% => OK
coleman_liau_index: 11.89 12.1639044944 98% => OK
dale_chall_readability_score: 7.94 8.38706741573 95% => OK
difficult_words: 98.0 100.480337079 98% => OK
linsear_write_formula: 9.0 11.8971910112 76% => OK
gunning_fog: 10.4 11.2143820225 93% => OK
text_standard: 12.0 11.7820224719 102% => OK
What are above readability scores?
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Better to have 5/6 paragraphs with 3/4 arguments. And try always support/against one side but compare two sides, like this:
para 1: introduction
para 2: reason 1. address both of the views presented for reason 1
para 3: reason 2. address both of the views presented for reason 2
para 4: reason 3. address both of the views presented for reason 3
para 5: reason 4. address both of the views presented for reason 4 (optional)
para 6: conclusion.
Rates: 58.33 out of 100
Scores by essay e-grader: 3.5 Out of 6
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Note: the e-grader does NOT examine the meaning of words and ideas. VIP users will receive further evaluations by advanced module of e-grader and human graders.