Formal education tends to restrain our minds and spirits rather than set them free.
Write a response in which you discuss the extent to which you agree or disagree
with the statement and explain your reasoning for the position you take. In
developing and supporting your position, you should consider ways in which the
statement might or might not hold true and explain how these considerations shape
your position
It is a well-known fact that our society is rapidly evolving. If a person living a couple hundred years ago was brought to a 21st century's kitchen, he would not even be able to tell what the room was. Technology has advanced so quickly that our surrondings have become unrecognizable. On the contrary, education has not evolved with techonology. If the same 19th century citizen was brought to a classroom, he might not even know that he had traveled through time. The way in which classes are given has mostly remained constant. Some people argue that this is because it works well. However, current formal education restrains the students. It avoids the development of their creativity.
First, the ways in which children are graded is fundametally flawed. Currently we use test with closed answers to measure the performance of the students. However, this approach does not encourage kids to look outside of the box. For instance, if a student is asked "what caused the first world war?", in order to pass the subject the student has to give the standard answer "The assassination of a archiducque". Nonetheless, the student does not go further away, he or she does not think about other non-inminent but no less significant causes.
Furthermore, current formal education has a very limited scope. First, it only teaches classic subjects such as history, english or algebra, setting aside other important topics. Normally, schools do not offer courses on philosophy, fotography or mechanics, thus it does not let children explore other areas. This limits the exposure of the kids, therefore, their creativity is restrained. Additionally, nowadays teachers focus only on one kind of intelligence, the one measured but the IQ tests. However, science publications have recently showed that there are many other types of intelligences that could be developed. For example, visual or emotional intelligence. To foster diversity education should shift their method, moving away of the traditional definition of "smart" into the new range of intelligences.
Finally, some teachers claim that basic facts must be known in order to be able to think, debate or understand the different positions about a topic. Nevertheless, facts are rarely objective, and many times we can doubt them. For example, we do not have definite proof that Homo Sapiens killed Neanthertals, but his is the only fact we teach the kids. In addition, new discoveries of the origin of earth are repeteadly made, but the books are rarely updated not to confuse the children.
To sum up, formal education has helped humankind to develop the advanced society we live in today. Nevertheless, if formal education does not evolve, the students' creativity will be at peril. Nowadays, children are graded by how well they are able to repeat a closed anser of traditional subjects without doubting this response. This limits their creativity, this is why it is urgent that education system changes.
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Grammar and spelling errors:
Line 1, column 91, Rule ID: NODT_DOZEN[1]
Message: Use simply: 'a hundred'.
Suggestion: a hundred
...y evolving. If a person living a couple hundred years ago was brought to a 21st century...
^^^^^^^
Line 5, column 413, Rule ID: EN_A_VS_AN
Message: Use 'an' instead of 'a' if the following word starts with a vowel sound, e.g. 'an article', 'an hour'
Suggestion: an
...ndard answer 'The assassination of a archiducque'. Nonetheless, the stu...
^
Line 21, column 155, Rule ID: POSSESIVE_APOSTROPHE[1]
Message: Possible typo: apostrophe is missing. Did you mean 'students'' or 'student's'?
Suggestion: students'; student's
...f formal education does not evolve, the students creativity will be at peril. Nowadays, ...
^^^^^^^^
Transition Words or Phrases used:
but, finally, first, furthermore, however, if, look, nevertheless, nonetheless, so, therefore, thus, well, as to, for example, for instance, in addition, kind of, such as, on the contrary, to sum up
Attributes: Values AverageValues Percentages(Values/AverageValues)% => Comments
Performance on Part of Speech:
To be verbs : 25.0 19.5258426966 128% => OK
Auxiliary verbs: 7.0 12.4196629213 56% => OK
Conjunction : 10.0 14.8657303371 67% => OK
Relative clauses : 11.0 11.3162921348 97% => OK
Pronoun: 40.0 33.0505617978 121% => Less pronouns wanted
Preposition: 47.0 58.6224719101 80% => OK
Nominalization: 16.0 12.9106741573 124% => OK
Performance on vocabulary words:
No of characters: 2539.0 2235.4752809 114% => OK
No of words: 480.0 442.535393258 108% => OK
Chars per words: 5.28958333333 5.05705443957 105% => OK
Fourth root words length: 4.68069463864 4.55969084622 103% => OK
Word Length SD: 2.99266391805 2.79657885939 107% => OK
Unique words: 279.0 215.323595506 130% => OK
Unique words percentage: 0.58125 0.4932671777 118% => OK
syllable_count: 788.4 704.065955056 112% => OK
avg_syllables_per_word: 1.6 1.59117977528 101% => OK
A sentence (or a clause, phrase) starts by:
Pronoun: 12.0 6.24550561798 192% => OK
Article: 6.0 4.99550561798 120% => OK
Subordination: 4.0 3.10617977528 129% => OK
Conjunction: 3.0 1.77640449438 169% => OK
Preposition: 6.0 4.38483146067 137% => OK
Performance on sentences:
How many sentences: 30.0 20.2370786517 148% => OK
Sentence length: 16.0 23.0359550562 69% => The Avg. Sentence Length is relatively short.
Sentence length SD: 37.6799534088 60.3974514979 62% => OK
Chars per sentence: 84.6333333333 118.986275619 71% => OK
Words per sentence: 16.0 23.4991977007 68% => OK
Discourse Markers: 6.6 5.21951772744 126% => OK
Paragraphs: 5.0 4.97078651685 101% => OK
Language errors: 3.0 7.80617977528 38% => OK
Sentences with positive sentiment : 12.0 10.2758426966 117% => OK
Sentences with negative sentiment : 8.0 5.13820224719 156% => OK
Sentences with neutral sentiment: 10.0 4.83258426966 207% => Less facts, knowledge or examples wanted.
What are sentences with positive/Negative/neutral sentiment?
Coherence and Cohesion:
Essay topic to essay body coherence: 0.0936373953563 0.243740707755 38% => The similarity between the topic and the content is low.
Sentence topic coherence: 0.0274567203272 0.0831039109588 33% => Sentence topic similarity is low.
Sentence topic coherence SD: 0.029885815683 0.0758088955206 39% => Sentences are similar to each other.
Paragraph topic coherence: 0.0507999461262 0.150359130593 34% => Maybe some paragraphs are off the topic.
Paragraph topic coherence SD: 0.0216510833464 0.0667264976115 32% => Paragraphs are similar to each other. Some content may get duplicated or it is not exactly right on the topic.
Essay readability:
automated_readability_index: 11.5 14.1392134831 81% => Automated_readability_index is low.
flesch_reading_ease: 55.24 48.8420337079 113% => OK
smog_index: 8.8 7.92365168539 111% => OK
flesch_kincaid_grade: 9.5 12.1743820225 78% => OK
coleman_liau_index: 13.11 12.1639044944 108% => OK
dale_chall_readability_score: 8.74 8.38706741573 104% => OK
difficult_words: 131.0 100.480337079 130% => OK
linsear_write_formula: 6.5 11.8971910112 55% => Linsear_write_formula is low.
gunning_fog: 8.4 11.2143820225 75% => OK
text_standard: 9.0 11.7820224719 76% => OK
What are above readability scores?
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It is not exactly right on the topic in the view of e-grader. Maybe there is a wrong essay topic.
Rates: 16.67 out of 100
Scores by essay e-grader: 1.0 Out of 6
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Note: the e-grader does NOT examine the meaning of words and ideas. VIP users will receive further evaluations by advanced module of e-grader and human graders.