It is not too exaggerated to say that 21st century is a milestone is of technology. Every industry is striving to invest in technology in order to create innovation and produce the highest values. The prompt states that with so many applications of technology, investments in life-saving turn out to be more valuable than in entertainment or luxury. I strongly agree with this statement that values from investments in life-saving technology will always outperform in entertainment or luxury for two reasons.
To begin with, all the values produced by entertainment or luxury industries all come from human beings. Entertainment or luxury products will only be valuable and bring profits to companies when there is a market of demand, which of course consists of human beings. Therefore, a healthy life of human is the foundation of every industry that is built upon the consumer market. Consequently, investments in life-saving technology is much more valuable and essential than the others, since the investments in entertainment or luxury technology will only realize their values when we have a healthy and stable market demand. For instance, during World War I, every country involved in the war was enduring an extremely tough period, when people were poor and unhealthy. Back at the time, people cared about nothing but their life and health, so their only demand were supplies that can support their lives. Entertainment and luxury were too far away from them without a healthy and stable life. However, after World War II, finally the political relation between countries have become rather stable, and people no longer need to suffer from death or illness because of consistent wars, life span of human beings start to increase astonishingly, and then bring about a promising economic boom with a growth in nearly every industry.
Further, nowadays with relative political and economical stabilities, entertainment and luxury can only be available by specific classes, where people have enough money to spend not only on daily supplies but also products to entertain them and demonstrate their social economic status. However, we cannot ignore there are still a lot of people struggling to survive everyday. They cannot purchase any of entertainment or luxury product but have to spend their very little amount of money on basic supplies to maintain their lives. Take the special-care patients in hospital for example. They are those identified as low income household that won’t have any resource of entertainment or luxury, but they do often appear in a hospital due to their health issues resulted from the low living quality. It is proved that the demand of health and life saving always comes before entertainment and luxury. Therefore, with a much bigger and more necessary market demand, investments in life-saving technology will indeed generate more values than the others like entertainment or luxury.
People may argue that the profits of entertainment and luxury products may be far bigger than the live-saving ones; however, as proved that the profits will always come a stable consumer market that consists of heathy human beings; consequently, no matter it is of explicit or actual values, life-saving technology will always be more crucial and valuable than entertainment and luxury technology.
- TPO-45 Integrated Writing Task 73
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- GRE Argument:The following appeared in an article written by Dr. Karp, an anthropologist.“Twenty years ago, Dr. Field, a noted anthropologist, visited the island of Tertia and concluded from his observations that children in Tertia were reared by an ent 47
Grammar and spelling errors:
Line 1, column 1, Rule ID: WHITESPACE_RULE
Message: Possible typo: you repeated a whitespace
Suggestion:
It is not too exaggerated to say that 21...
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Line 3, column 1, Rule ID: WHITESPACE_RULE
Message: Possible typo: you repeated a whitespace
Suggestion:
...rtainment or luxury for two reasons. To begin with, all the values produced b...
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Line 5, column 1, Rule ID: WHITESPACE_RULE
Message: Possible typo: you repeated a whitespace
Suggestion:
...h a growth in nearly every industry. Further, nowadays with relative politica...
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Line 5, column 373, Rule ID: EVERYDAY_EVERY_DAY[3]
Message: 'Everyday' is an adjective. Did you mean 'every day'?
Suggestion: every day
...l a lot of people struggling to survive everyday. They cannot purchase any of entertainm...
^^^^^^^^
Line 7, column 1, Rule ID: WHITESPACE_RULE
Message: Possible typo: you repeated a whitespace
Suggestion:
...others like entertainment or luxury. People may argue that the profits of ent...
^^^^^^
Transition Words or Phrases used:
also, but, consequently, finally, however, if, may, so, still, then, therefore, for example, for instance, of course, to begin with
Attributes: Values AverageValues Percentages(Values/AverageValues)% => Comments
Performance on Part of Speech:
To be verbs : 21.0 19.5258426966 108% => OK
Auxiliary verbs: 13.0 12.4196629213 105% => OK
Conjunction : 33.0 14.8657303371 222% => Less conjunction wanted
Relative clauses : 15.0 11.3162921348 133% => OK
Pronoun: 32.0 33.0505617978 97% => OK
Preposition: 71.0 58.6224719101 121% => OK
Nominalization: 18.0 12.9106741573 139% => OK
Performance on vocabulary words:
No of characters: 2808.0 2235.4752809 126% => OK
No of words: 529.0 442.535393258 120% => OK
Chars per words: 5.30812854442 5.05705443957 105% => OK
Fourth root words length: 4.79583152331 4.55969084622 105% => OK
Word Length SD: 2.88698013875 2.79657885939 103% => OK
Unique words: 247.0 215.323595506 115% => OK
Unique words percentage: 0.466918714556 0.4932671777 95% => More unique words wanted or less content wanted.
syllable_count: 889.2 704.065955056 126% => OK
avg_syllables_per_word: 1.7 1.59117977528 107% => OK
A sentence (or a clause, phrase) starts by:
Pronoun: 6.0 6.24550561798 96% => OK
Article: 2.0 4.99550561798 40% => OK
Subordination: 4.0 3.10617977528 129% => OK
Conjunction: 3.0 1.77640449438 169% => OK
Preposition: 5.0 4.38483146067 114% => OK
Performance on sentences:
How many sentences: 20.0 20.2370786517 99% => OK
Sentence length: 26.0 23.0359550562 113% => OK
Sentence length SD: 87.3992419876 60.3974514979 145% => OK
Chars per sentence: 140.4 118.986275619 118% => OK
Words per sentence: 26.45 23.4991977007 113% => OK
Discourse Markers: 6.55 5.21951772744 125% => OK
Paragraphs: 4.0 4.97078651685 80% => OK
Language errors: 5.0 7.80617977528 64% => OK
Sentences with positive sentiment : 14.0 10.2758426966 136% => OK
Sentences with negative sentiment : 5.0 5.13820224719 97% => OK
Sentences with neutral sentiment: 1.0 4.83258426966 21% => More facts, knowledge or examples wanted.
What are sentences with positive/Negative/neutral sentiment?
Coherence and Cohesion:
Essay topic to essay body coherence: 0.3905823723 0.243740707755 160% => OK
Sentence topic coherence: 0.127955531151 0.0831039109588 154% => OK
Sentence topic coherence SD: 0.146685404121 0.0758088955206 193% => OK
Paragraph topic coherence: 0.290661256085 0.150359130593 193% => OK
Paragraph topic coherence SD: 0.0936254123896 0.0667264976115 140% => OK
Essay readability:
automated_readability_index: 16.8 14.1392134831 119% => OK
flesch_reading_ease: 36.63 48.8420337079 75% => OK
smog_index: 11.2 7.92365168539 141% => OK
flesch_kincaid_grade: 14.6 12.1743820225 120% => OK
coleman_liau_index: 13.81 12.1639044944 114% => OK
dale_chall_readability_score: 8.36 8.38706741573 100% => OK
difficult_words: 115.0 100.480337079 114% => OK
linsear_write_formula: 12.5 11.8971910112 105% => OK
gunning_fog: 12.4 11.2143820225 111% => OK
text_standard: 13.0 11.7820224719 110% => OK
What are above readability scores?
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Better to have 5/6 paragraphs with 3/4 arguments. And try always support/against one side but compare two sides, like this:
para 1: introduction
para 2: reason 1. address both of the views presented for reason 1
para 3: reason 2. address both of the views presented for reason 2
para 4: reason 3. address both of the views presented for reason 3
para 5: reason 4. address both of the views presented for reason 4 (optional)
para 6: conclusion.
Rates: 66.67 out of 100
Scores by essay e-grader: 4.0 Out of 6
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Note: the e-grader does NOT examine the meaning of words and ideas. VIP users will receive further evaluations by advanced module of e-grader and human graders.