The luxuries and conveniences of contemporary life prevent people from developing into truly strong and independent individuals.
Chasing our dreams in contemporary world has become a luxury. People who are actually blessed with luxuries are able to focus on their passion, others are stuck in the dilemma between survival and dreams. People with the golden spoon have resources and power which allows them to follow their desires ,independence is a controversial topic. Are people who follow their hearts independent or the ones who make their own living? . But, as children whether privileged or unprivileged we have some dreams and desires, to be able to follow them is truly what makes our mind free and imparts us with a sense of confidence and strong beings.
Luxuries and conveniences motivates us to focus on the important things in life and teaches us the value of being best version of ourselves. All the luxurious people have one thing in common, they understand that true independence can only be achieved when you can earn your lifestyle. Supose a young boy always eats at fancy places, suddenly has to survive on street food, he is bound to work more on his dreams to get a life which he has observed all his life. Ultimately, this lesson would make him more independent than unprivileged because it allows him to learn the value of money as well as the imprtance of following his passion.
Contribution in society is also a major factor in determining the independence of an individual. Luxurious people are resourceful enough to change the life of a large section of population. If we are truly at peace and are following our dreams, we can be independent. It gives us a sense of confidence to help uplift other people in life.
Although, Sometimes luxury can blind us and we can become arrogant and lazy, but we can also learn a lot from them. The choice between the two paths is all about attitude , it plays a key role in determining whether we become a Sybarite or altruistic.
- A nation should require all of its students to study the same national curriculum until they enter college. 50
- Some people believe that the purpose of education is to free the mind and the spirit Others believe that formal education tends to restrain our minds and spirits rather than set them free 58
- Twenty years ago Dr Field a noted anthropologist visited the island of Tertia and concluded from his observations that children in Tertia were reared by an entire village rather than by their own biological parents However my recent interviews with childr 58
- In any situation, progress requires discussion among people who have contrasting points of view. 66
- Nature s Way a chain of stores selling health food and other health related products is opening its next franchise in the town of Plainsville The store should prove to be very successful Nature s Way franchises tend to be most profitable in areas where re 62
Grammar and spelling errors:
Line 1, column 184, Rule ID: WHITESPACE_RULE
Message: Possible typo: you repeated a whitespace
Suggestion:
... others are stuck in the dilemma between survival and dreams. People with the gol...
^^
Line 1, column 260, Rule ID: WHITESPACE_RULE
Message: Possible typo: you repeated a whitespace
Suggestion:
...he golden spoon have resources and power which allows them to follow their desire...
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Message: Put a space after the comma, but not before the comma
Suggestion: ,
...hich allows them to follow their desires ,independence is a controversial topic. A...
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Line 1, column 347, Rule ID: WHITESPACE_RULE
Message: Possible typo: you repeated a whitespace
Suggestion:
...dependence is a controversial topic. Are people who follow their hearts independe...
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Line 1, column 431, Rule ID: COMMA_PARENTHESIS_WHITESPACE
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Suggestion: .
... or the ones who make their own living? . But, as children whether privileged or ...
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Line 1, column 567, Rule ID: WHITESPACE_RULE
Message: Possible typo: you repeated a whitespace
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...e to follow them is truly what makes our mind free and imparts us with a sense of...
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Line 3, column 80, Rule ID: WHITESPACE_RULE
Message: Possible typo: you repeated a whitespace
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...to focus on the important things in life and teaches us the value of being best v...
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Line 3, column 110, Rule ID: THE_SUPERLATIVE[4]
Message: A determiner is probably missing here: 'being the best'.
Suggestion: being the best
...gs in life and teaches us the value of being best version of ourselves. All the luxurious...
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Line 7, column 172, Rule ID: COMMA_PARENTHESIS_WHITESPACE
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...ween the two paths is all about attitude , it plays a key role in determining whet...
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Line 7, column 254, Rule ID: WHITESPACE_RULE
Message: Possible typo: you repeated a whitespace
Suggestion:
...her we become a Sybarite or altruistic.
^^^
Transition Words or Phrases used:
actually, also, but, if, so, well, as to, as well as
Attributes: Values AverageValues Percentages(Values/AverageValues)% => Comments
Performance on Part of Speech:
To be verbs : 16.0 19.5258426966 82% => OK
Auxiliary verbs: 7.0 12.4196629213 56% => OK
Conjunction : 14.0 14.8657303371 94% => OK
Relative clauses : 7.0 11.3162921348 62% => More relative clauses wanted.
Pronoun: 37.0 33.0505617978 112% => OK
Preposition: 41.0 58.6224719101 70% => OK
Nominalization: 9.0 12.9106741573 70% => OK
Performance on vocabulary words:
No of characters: 1551.0 2235.4752809 69% => OK
No of words: 325.0 442.535393258 73% => More content wanted.
Chars per words: 4.77230769231 5.05705443957 94% => OK
Fourth root words length: 4.24591054749 4.55969084622 93% => OK
Word Length SD: 2.74203320254 2.79657885939 98% => OK
Unique words: 181.0 215.323595506 84% => More unique words wanted.
Unique words percentage: 0.556923076923 0.4932671777 113% => OK
syllable_count: 499.5 704.065955056 71% => OK
avg_syllables_per_word: 1.5 1.59117977528 94% => OK
A sentence (or a clause, phrase) starts by:
Pronoun: 6.0 6.24550561798 96% => OK
Article: 1.0 4.99550561798 20% => OK
Subordination: 2.0 3.10617977528 64% => OK
Conjunction: 1.0 1.77640449438 56% => OK
Preposition: 1.0 4.38483146067 23% => More preposition wanted as sentence beginning.
Performance on sentences:
How many sentences: 15.0 20.2370786517 74% => Need more sentences. Double check the format of sentences, make sure there is a space between two sentences, or have enough periods. And also check the lengths of sentences, maybe they are too long.
Sentence length: 21.0 23.0359550562 91% => OK
Sentence length SD: 41.3648267117 60.3974514979 68% => OK
Chars per sentence: 103.4 118.986275619 87% => OK
Words per sentence: 21.6666666667 23.4991977007 92% => OK
Discourse Markers: 3.46666666667 5.21951772744 66% => OK
Paragraphs: 4.0 4.97078651685 80% => OK
Language errors: 10.0 7.80617977528 128% => OK
Sentences with positive sentiment : 10.0 10.2758426966 97% => OK
Sentences with negative sentiment : 2.0 5.13820224719 39% => More negative sentences wanted.
Sentences with neutral sentiment: 3.0 4.83258426966 62% => OK
What are sentences with positive/Negative/neutral sentiment?
Coherence and Cohesion:
Essay topic to essay body coherence: 0.20934503004 0.243740707755 86% => OK
Sentence topic coherence: 0.0697626099677 0.0831039109588 84% => OK
Sentence topic coherence SD: 0.0374822710761 0.0758088955206 49% => Sentences are similar to each other.
Paragraph topic coherence: 0.121318275698 0.150359130593 81% => OK
Paragraph topic coherence SD: 0.0486510911803 0.0667264976115 73% => OK
Essay readability:
automated_readability_index: 11.9 14.1392134831 84% => Automated_readability_index is low.
flesch_reading_ease: 58.62 48.8420337079 120% => OK
smog_index: 8.8 7.92365168539 111% => OK
flesch_kincaid_grade: 10.3 12.1743820225 85% => OK
coleman_liau_index: 10.39 12.1639044944 85% => OK
dale_chall_readability_score: 7.98 8.38706741573 95% => OK
difficult_words: 68.0 100.480337079 68% => More difficult words wanted.
linsear_write_formula: 11.0 11.8971910112 92% => OK
gunning_fog: 10.4 11.2143820225 93% => OK
text_standard: 11.0 11.7820224719 93% => OK
What are above readability scores?
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Better to have 5/6 paragraphs with 3/4 arguments. And try always support/against one side but compare two sides, like this:
para 1: introduction
para 2: reason 1. address both of the views presented for reason 1
para 3: reason 2. address both of the views presented for reason 2
para 4: reason 3. address both of the views presented for reason 3
para 5: reason 4. address both of the views presented for reason 4 (optional)
para 6: conclusion.
Rates: 50.0 out of 100
Scores by essay e-grader: 3.0 Out of 6
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Note: the e-grader does NOT examine the meaning of words and ideas. VIP users will receive further evaluations by advanced module of e-grader and human graders.