People's behavior is largely determined by forces not of their own making.
There are many factors that work to form the behavior such as family, society, friends, school, religion his /her own judgment etc. But no factor solely control the behavior of a single person. These same factors work differently on different persons. So, it is very difficult to reach into a firm conclusion about people’s behavior. Here I mostly disagree with the statement that people’s behavior is largely determined by forces not of their own making for some reasons and I am going to explain them.
First of all, people are social animal. Society is not just a collection of people, because everyone here is inter-related and inter-connected. Everyone is influenced by others in some way. That means society has a great impact on us. But, all the people of society don’t act in the same way when they face the same situation. That means they are analyzing the situation and taking decision to act according to their own thinking. For example, although the children of a same family get the same environment and influence from their parents, their behavior will never be exactly same in future. It is because of their choice and their preference. One of them may become very good student, responsible to family and very dear to parents and another may become very careless and carousal. That means people’s behavior is not largely determined by its surroundings. Though there are many factors which are influencing him, he is the only decision maker of how he is going to shape his behavior.
Secondly, one can argue that the people’s behavior is not something rigid or unchangeable. people of one society may become changed when come to contact with another society. Here, it seems that the external forces by the new society change the people. But, it’s not the real case. People can accept the good trends from other society consciously to become a better one. In the same way people can change themselves by learning lesson from their mistakes. Once again this learning process is a conscious one which related to own decision.
In summary, from the above analysis and examples we can conclude that people’s behavior is not largely determined by forces not of their own making. External factors might play an important role to influence one’s behavior, but, finally its ones thinking which led the path to shape behavior.
- Claim: In any field—business, politics, education, government—those in power should step down after five years.Reason: The surest path to success for any enterprise is revitalization through new leadership. 50
- The luxuries and conveniences of contemporary life prevent people from developing into truly strong and independent individual 62
- People's behavior is largely determined by forces not of their own making. 60
- Educators should teach facts only after their students have studied the ideas, trends, and concepts that help explain those facts. 66
- In any situation, progress requires discussion among people who have contrasting points of view 58
Grammar and spelling errors:
Line 4, column 21, Rule ID: WHITESPACE_RULE
Message: Possible typo: you repeated a whitespace
Suggestion:
... explain them. First of all, people are social animal. Society is not just a...
^^
Line 4, column 591, Rule ID: IN_PAST[1]
Message: Did you mean: 'in the future'?
Suggestion: in the future
...eir behavior will never be exactly same in future. It is because of their choice and thei...
^^^^^^^^^
Line 7, column 97, Rule ID: UPPERCASE_SENTENCE_START
Message: This sentence does not start with an uppercase letter
Suggestion: People
...is not something rigid or unchangeable. people of one society may become changed when ...
^^^^^^
Line 7, column 467, Rule ID: SENTENCE_FRAGMENT[1]
Message: “Once” at the beginning of a sentence requires a 2nd clause. Maybe a comma, question or exclamation mark is missing, or the sentence is incomplete and should be joined with the following sentence.
...by learning lesson from their mistakes. Once again this learning process is a consci...
^^^^
Line 10, column 36, Rule ID: WHITESPACE_RULE
Message: Possible typo: you repeated a whitespace
Suggestion:
... In summary, from the above analysis and examples we can conclude that people...
^^
Line 10, column 253, Rule ID: ONES[1]
Message: Did you mean 'one's'?
Suggestion: one's
...e one's behavior, but, finally its ones thinking which led the path to shape be...
^^^^
Transition Words or Phrases used:
but, finally, first, if, may, second, secondly, so, for example, in summary, such as, first of all, in the same way
Attributes: Values AverageValues Percentages(Values/AverageValues)% => Comments
Performance on Part of Speech:
To be verbs : 18.0 19.5258426966 92% => OK
Auxiliary verbs: 9.0 12.4196629213 72% => OK
Conjunction : 11.0 14.8657303371 74% => OK
Relative clauses : 13.0 11.3162921348 115% => OK
Pronoun: 38.0 33.0505617978 115% => OK
Preposition: 46.0 58.6224719101 78% => OK
Nominalization: 9.0 12.9106741573 70% => OK
Performance on vocabulary words:
No of characters: 1995.0 2235.4752809 89% => OK
No of words: 393.0 442.535393258 89% => More content wanted.
Chars per words: 5.07633587786 5.05705443957 100% => OK
Fourth root words length: 4.45244063426 4.55969084622 98% => OK
Word Length SD: 2.74522279813 2.79657885939 98% => OK
Unique words: 202.0 215.323595506 94% => More unique words wanted.
Unique words percentage: 0.513994910941 0.4932671777 104% => OK
syllable_count: 623.7 704.065955056 89% => OK
avg_syllables_per_word: 1.6 1.59117977528 101% => OK
A sentence (or a clause, phrase) starts by:
Pronoun: 9.0 6.24550561798 144% => OK
Article: 0.0 4.99550561798 0% => OK
Subordination: 3.0 3.10617977528 97% => OK
Conjunction: 1.0 1.77640449438 56% => OK
Preposition: 3.0 4.38483146067 68% => OK
Performance on sentences:
How many sentences: 25.0 20.2370786517 124% => OK
Sentence length: 15.0 23.0359550562 65% => The Avg. Sentence Length is relatively short.
Sentence length SD: 39.5919183673 60.3974514979 66% => OK
Chars per sentence: 79.8 118.986275619 67% => OK
Words per sentence: 15.72 23.4991977007 67% => OK
Discourse Markers: 4.6 5.21951772744 88% => OK
Paragraphs: 4.0 4.97078651685 80% => OK
Language errors: 6.0 7.80617977528 77% => OK
Sentences with positive sentiment : 5.0 10.2758426966 49% => More positive sentences wanted.
Sentences with negative sentiment : 7.0 5.13820224719 136% => OK
Sentences with neutral sentiment: 13.0 4.83258426966 269% => Less facts, knowledge or examples wanted.
What are sentences with positive/Negative/neutral sentiment?
Coherence and Cohesion:
Essay topic to essay body coherence: 0.358115590624 0.243740707755 147% => OK
Sentence topic coherence: 0.100242807253 0.0831039109588 121% => OK
Sentence topic coherence SD: 0.118641232894 0.0758088955206 157% => OK
Paragraph topic coherence: 0.251805362434 0.150359130593 167% => OK
Paragraph topic coherence SD: 0.0791982561873 0.0667264976115 119% => OK
Essay readability:
automated_readability_index: 10.4 14.1392134831 74% => Automated_readability_index is low.
flesch_reading_ease: 56.25 48.8420337079 115% => OK
smog_index: 3.1 7.92365168539 39% => Smog_index is low.
flesch_kincaid_grade: 9.1 12.1743820225 75% => OK
coleman_liau_index: 11.89 12.1639044944 98% => OK
dale_chall_readability_score: 7.8 8.38706741573 93% => OK
difficult_words: 85.0 100.480337079 85% => More difficult words wanted.
linsear_write_formula: 6.5 11.8971910112 55% => Linsear_write_formula is low.
gunning_fog: 8.0 11.2143820225 71% => OK
text_standard: 8.0 11.7820224719 68% => The average readability is low. Need to imporve the language.
What are above readability scores?
---------------------
Better to have 5/6 paragraphs with 3/4 arguments. And try always support/against one side but compare two sides, like this:
para 1: introduction
para 2: reason 1. address both of the views presented for reason 1
para 3: reason 2. address both of the views presented for reason 2
para 4: reason 3. address both of the views presented for reason 3
para 5: reason 4. address both of the views presented for reason 4 (optional)
para 6: conclusion.
Rates: 50.0 out of 100
Scores by essay e-grader: 3.0 Out of 6
---------------------
Note: the e-grader does NOT examine the meaning of words and ideas. VIP users will receive further evaluations by advanced module of e-grader and human graders.