People's behavior is largely determined by forces not of their own making
What factors do determine people’s behavior? The author of the assertion suggests, that the primary force, which determines a person’s behavior comes from the outside world rather than from his own will. Indisputably, a decision-making process has a multifactorial, complex, and sometimes even mysterious nature. It is a way much obscure than it seems to be at first glance. However, I am inclined to disagree with the author’s position and would argue, that the behavior largely depends on an individual, his past experience, set of principles and morals he has. I support my opinion with three arguments, which I elaborate on in further sections.
First of all, I would like to concede, that in childhood people are very susceptible to outside stimuli. The behavior of parents and relatives, who are always around, indeed, largely define a set of principles and morals you will carry further during your life. At this stage of life, a psychic is not mature yet and is extremely senescent to influence from an outside world. However later on during life, in adulthood, the psychology of people reaches a point of maturation. Adult people are already able to make weighted decisions, they already have a set of fixed principles and beliefs. Thus, no matter which force comes from the outside world, the final decision is always a responsibility of an individual, unless he is in an extreme situation, which does not allow him to choose. In the majority of everyday situations, when one decides on whether continue relationships or not, take a job offer, move to another place and etc., the decision-making process is influenced by a myriad of different factors, which include an opinion of other people, tv show which you like the most, social media. This list might be infinite, but in any case, the final decision is made by an individual is a result of the analysis of all received stimuli.
Furthermore, if the author’s statement is true, the society should reconsider the whole legislation, because, according to the assertion, a person, who performed a crime, cannot take responsibility for the factors and influences he received from the outside world. Although this might be true to a certain extent, such an extremely exaggerated point of view might lead to undesirable consequences. For instance, it might significantly confuse a court in making a decision on who should take the punishment for a crime.
To summarize, I would like to emphasize the fact, that decision making is a multifactorial, complex, and quite sophisticated process. Despite this, the central place in decision making is kept for an individual himself. A decision can be made only after conscious and unconscious processing of all the information received from the world by men’s mind.
- Claim: Any piece of information referred to as a fact should be mistrusted, since it may well be proven false in the future.Reason: Much of the information that people assume is factual actually turns out to be inaccurate. 50
- People's behavior is largely determined by forces not of their own making 66
Grammar and spelling errors:
Line 1, column 526, Rule ID: PAST_EXPERIENCE_MEMORY[1]
Message: Use simply 'experience'.
Suggestion: experience
...r largely depends on an individual, his past experience, set of principles and morals he has. I...
^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^
Line 5, column 927, Rule ID: AND_ETC[1]
Message: Use simply 'etc.'.
Suggestion: etc.
...take a job offer, move to another place and etc., the decision-making process is influen...
^^^^^^^^
Transition Words or Phrases used:
but, first, furthermore, however, if, so, thus, for instance, first of all, in any case
Attributes: Values AverageValues Percentages(Values/AverageValues)% => Comments
Performance on Part of Speech:
To be verbs : 18.0 19.5258426966 92% => OK
Auxiliary verbs: 13.0 12.4196629213 105% => OK
Conjunction : 14.0 14.8657303371 94% => OK
Relative clauses : 14.0 11.3162921348 124% => OK
Pronoun: 28.0 33.0505617978 85% => OK
Preposition: 70.0 58.6224719101 119% => OK
Nominalization: 12.0 12.9106741573 93% => OK
Performance on vocabulary words:
No of characters: 2360.0 2235.4752809 106% => OK
No of words: 454.0 442.535393258 103% => OK
Chars per words: 5.19823788546 5.05705443957 103% => OK
Fourth root words length: 4.61598047577 4.55969084622 101% => OK
Word Length SD: 3.11398907247 2.79657885939 111% => OK
Unique words: 244.0 215.323595506 113% => OK
Unique words percentage: 0.537444933921 0.4932671777 109% => OK
syllable_count: 748.8 704.065955056 106% => OK
avg_syllables_per_word: 1.6 1.59117977528 101% => OK
A sentence (or a clause, phrase) starts by:
Pronoun: 13.0 6.24550561798 208% => Less pronouns wanted as sentence beginning.
Article: 12.0 4.99550561798 240% => Less articles wanted as sentence beginning.
Subordination: 4.0 3.10617977528 129% => OK
Conjunction: 3.0 1.77640449438 169% => OK
Preposition: 6.0 4.38483146067 137% => OK
Performance on sentences:
How many sentences: 20.0 20.2370786517 99% => OK
Sentence length: 22.0 23.0359550562 96% => OK
Sentence length SD: 63.1502177352 60.3974514979 105% => OK
Chars per sentence: 118.0 118.986275619 99% => OK
Words per sentence: 22.7 23.4991977007 97% => OK
Discourse Markers: 4.35 5.21951772744 83% => OK
Paragraphs: 4.0 4.97078651685 80% => OK
Language errors: 2.0 7.80617977528 26% => OK
Sentences with positive sentiment : 5.0 10.2758426966 49% => More positive sentences wanted.
Sentences with negative sentiment : 5.0 5.13820224719 97% => OK
Sentences with neutral sentiment: 10.0 4.83258426966 207% => Less facts, knowledge or examples wanted.
What are sentences with positive/Negative/neutral sentiment?
Coherence and Cohesion:
Essay topic to essay body coherence: 0.154619112439 0.243740707755 63% => OK
Sentence topic coherence: 0.0492975385674 0.0831039109588 59% => OK
Sentence topic coherence SD: 0.0555996071789 0.0758088955206 73% => OK
Paragraph topic coherence: 0.0907560329516 0.150359130593 60% => OK
Paragraph topic coherence SD: 0.0643006452607 0.0667264976115 96% => OK
Essay readability:
automated_readability_index: 14.4 14.1392134831 102% => OK
flesch_reading_ease: 49.15 48.8420337079 101% => OK
smog_index: 8.8 7.92365168539 111% => OK
flesch_kincaid_grade: 11.9 12.1743820225 98% => OK
coleman_liau_index: 13.18 12.1639044944 108% => OK
dale_chall_readability_score: 8.73 8.38706741573 104% => OK
difficult_words: 115.0 100.480337079 114% => OK
linsear_write_formula: 9.0 11.8971910112 76% => OK
gunning_fog: 10.8 11.2143820225 96% => OK
text_standard: 9.0 11.7820224719 76% => OK
What are above readability scores?
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Better to have 5/6 paragraphs with 3/4 arguments. And try always support/against one side but compare two sides, like this:
para 1: introduction
para 2: reason 1. address both of the views presented for reason 1
para 3: reason 2. address both of the views presented for reason 2
para 4: reason 3. address both of the views presented for reason 3
para 5: reason 4. address both of the views presented for reason 4 (optional)
para 6: conclusion.
Rates: 66.67 out of 100
Scores by essay e-grader: 4.0 Out of 6
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Note: the e-grader does NOT examine the meaning of words and ideas. VIP users will receive further evaluations by advanced module of e-grader and human graders.