People's behavior is largely determined by forces not of their own making.Write a response in which you discuss the extent to which you agree or disagree with the statement and explain your reasoning for the position you take. In developing and supporting

In western philosophy, there has been a long debate on the inconsistence between the sense of free will in human and the observed determinism in natural science. The existence of free will implicate that human can act differently facing the past events and external forces. However, the natural science posits that everything is governed by the perfect physical law, which preclude the possibility of such free will. While I admit the existence of free will, I believe people have very few control over their behaviors, which are largely determined by innate factors, childhood experience and the society.

First, we need to define what do we mean by external forces. While external forces include family, school and society, which I will discuss later, it also includes forces from inside but still should be considered as external forces. For example, there are people with innate disability and mental issues. These are certainly forces not controlled by themselves. These physical and mental flaws would largely determine how they will live the rest of their lives. They may eat differently, walk differently, sleep differently as opposed of people without these disability or mental issues. They may be forced to go to certain school and take certain occupation. They may be treated differently in different culture and society, and in return, they will be forced to respond to these special attention, no matter they wanted or not. In general, we genetically various people when we born, which largely determined how we live our life.

After we were born, we instantly faced overwhelming external forces such as family, school and society. There are numerous studies on how economic status of parents having great say in child’s behavior in school, which leads to various academic performance. Psychologists found out students had abusing relations with their parents are tended to be bullies in school. People with childhood trauma has more suicide tendency after they grow up. These are influence on people’s mind which further determined people’s action. There are also physical constraints on people which makes free action impossible. These studies on how people with lower economic status have greater obstacles when moving upward in social ladder. They have just enough time to make the ends meet. They physically don’t have the time and energy to gain sophisticated skills, have healthy diet, find high paid job or any other thing other people believe they should do. Another more dramatical example would be slavery. As an African slavery in 1700s, his or her behaviors are mostly controlled by their masters’ willingness. Overall, factors from outside have great impact on us physically and mentally. These impacts rule our behaviors.

However, the word “largely” doesn’t tantamount to solely or completely. My argument doesn’t preclude the existence of free will and its implication. Firstly, we should differentiate between free will and free action. While we mostly don’t have free action, given the existence of external forces, we have free will to determine our behaviors. Secondly, as rare as it is, free will does lead to free actions in some cases. For instance, Hellen Keller, the first deaf-blind person to earn bachelor degree of art, overcomes external forces and lived her life by her will.

To sum up, if we consider our behaviors as equation of one thousand variables, we have no control over most of them. Our genes, family, school and society determined most of our behaviors through our lives. However, in rare cases, the seemly unimportant variable, free will, determines the outcome of the behaviors equation.

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Average: 5.8 (1 vote)
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Grammar and spelling errors:
Line 3, column 555, Rule ID: THIS_NNS[2]
Message: Did you mean 'this disability' or 'these disabilities'?
Suggestion: this disability; these disabilities
...ifferently as opposed of people without these disability or mental issues. They may be forced to...
^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^
Line 3, column 662, Rule ID: ENGLISH_WORD_REPEAT_BEGINNING_RULE
Message: Three successive sentences begin with the same word. Reword the sentence or use a thesaurus to find a synonym.
...ain school and take certain occupation. They may be treated differently in different...
^^^^
Line 5, column 790, Rule ID: PRP_RB_NO_VB[1]
Message: Are you missing a verb?
...enough time to make the ends meet. They physically don't have the time and energy to gain soph...
^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^
Line 9, column 306, Rule ID: POSSESIVE_APOSTROPHE[2]
Message: Possible typo: apostrophe is missing. Did you mean 'behaviors'' or 'behavior's'?
Suggestion: behaviors'; behavior's
...ree will, determines the outcome of the behaviors equation.
^^^^^^^^^

Transition Words or Phrases used:
also, but, first, firstly, however, if, may, second, secondly, so, still, while, for example, for instance, in general, such as, in some cases, to sum up

Attributes: Values AverageValues Percentages(Values/AverageValues)% => Comments

Performance on Part of Speech:
To be verbs : 18.0 19.5258426966 92% => OK
Auxiliary verbs: 23.0 12.4196629213 185% => OK
Conjunction : 22.0 14.8657303371 148% => OK
Relative clauses : 11.0 11.3162921348 97% => OK
Pronoun: 56.0 33.0505617978 169% => OK
Preposition: 73.0 58.6224719101 125% => OK
Nominalization: 17.0 12.9106741573 132% => OK

Performance on vocabulary words:
No of characters: 3128.0 2235.4752809 140% => OK
No of words: 585.0 442.535393258 132% => OK
Chars per words: 5.34700854701 5.05705443957 106% => OK
Fourth root words length: 4.9180050066 4.55969084622 108% => OK
Word Length SD: 2.78265502134 2.79657885939 100% => OK
Unique words: 298.0 215.323595506 138% => OK
Unique words percentage: 0.509401709402 0.4932671777 103% => OK
syllable_count: 971.1 704.065955056 138% => OK
avg_syllables_per_word: 1.7 1.59117977528 107% => OK

A sentence (or a clause, phrase) starts by:
Pronoun: 22.0 6.24550561798 352% => Less pronouns wanted as sentence beginning.
Interrogative: 0.0 0.740449438202 0% => OK
Article: 5.0 4.99550561798 100% => OK
Subordination: 7.0 3.10617977528 225% => Less adverbial clause wanted.
Conjunction: 1.0 1.77640449438 56% => OK
Preposition: 5.0 4.38483146067 114% => OK

Performance on sentences:
How many sentences: 35.0 20.2370786517 173% => OK
Sentence length: 16.0 23.0359550562 69% => OK
Sentence length SD: 39.6314243488 60.3974514979 66% => OK
Chars per sentence: 89.3714285714 118.986275619 75% => OK
Words per sentence: 16.7142857143 23.4991977007 71% => OK
Discourse Markers: 4.37142857143 5.21951772744 84% => OK
Paragraphs: 5.0 4.97078651685 101% => OK
Language errors: 4.0 7.80617977528 51% => OK
Sentences with positive sentiment : 18.0 10.2758426966 175% => OK
Sentences with negative sentiment : 7.0 5.13820224719 136% => OK
Sentences with neutral sentiment: 10.0 4.83258426966 207% => Less facts, knowledge or examples wanted.
What are sentences with positive/Negative/neutral sentiment?

Coherence and Cohesion:
Essay topic to essay body coherence: 0.158487548109 0.243740707755 65% => OK
Sentence topic coherence: 0.0463032210393 0.0831039109588 56% => OK
Sentence topic coherence SD: 0.0422538972589 0.0758088955206 56% => OK
Paragraph topic coherence: 0.0922326954716 0.150359130593 61% => OK
Paragraph topic coherence SD: 0.0329693268006 0.0667264976115 49% => Paragraphs are similar to each other. Some content may get duplicated or it is not exactly right on the topic.

Essay readability:
automated_readability_index: 12.1 14.1392134831 86% => Automated_readability_index is low.
flesch_reading_ease: 46.78 48.8420337079 96% => OK
smog_index: 8.8 7.92365168539 111% => OK
flesch_kincaid_grade: 10.7 12.1743820225 88% => OK
coleman_liau_index: 13.45 12.1639044944 111% => OK
dale_chall_readability_score: 8.42 8.38706741573 100% => OK
difficult_words: 148.0 100.480337079 147% => OK
linsear_write_formula: 11.5 11.8971910112 97% => OK
gunning_fog: 8.4 11.2143820225 75% => OK
text_standard: 9.0 11.7820224719 76% => OK
What are above readability scores?

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Rates: 58.33 out of 100
Scores by essay e-grader: 3.5 Out of 6
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Note: the e-grader does NOT examine the meaning of words and ideas. VIP users will receive further evaluations by advanced module of e-grader and human graders.