The primary goal of technological advancement should be to increase people's efficiency so that they have more leisure time.Write a response in which you discuss the extent to which you agree or disagree with the statement and explain your reasoning for t

The speaker claims that technological advancement provides efficient lifestyle of which purpose is to increase leisure time. At first glance this claim seems reasonable as leisure entertainments are becoming various compared to those of the past. Yet, this claim is specious since confining the advantages of efficiency to leisure time seems narrow-minded in several grounds.

A threshold problem of the speaker’s claim is that its internal logic is questionable. The speaker is suggesting that the scope of the advantages from achieving the main goal of technological advancement is having more leisure time. Yet, circumscribing it only to leisure seems too parochial and monolithical considering human’s actual technological advances such as machine learning or IoT, which succeeded to provide convenient lifestyle for disabled people and single residences. Especially, further technological researches could be conducted with ease as cutting-edge technology spares more time to let scientists and developers to be more concentrated on their work.

Nevertheless, accumulating more leisure time is also important since human’s will for pursuing happiness has taken an important place as one of the characteristics when explaining modern society. As we have learned from history, we have gained and reinforced individual rights and a majority of people are more likely to spend time for their own nowadays. Leisure time is regarded as one of it, and people are finding happiness through experiencing what they favor. Its value is discovered when such a relaxing and recharging time helps you escape from hectic life pattern, which eventually affects one’s life efficiency in a positive way. Hence, as technological advance affords to eliminate inefficient time and let us use those spared times for personal entertainment, it is plausible to say the purpose for technological advance is correlated with increasing one’s own efficiency.

Although it is partly true that the cycle of life pattern that has no leisure time is expected to be an unproductive lifecycle filled with stress and depression, it is spurious to assert the primary goal of technological advance has only to do with increasing efficiency. Among goals of such advances, solving problems that threatens our life is actually more important than having more leisure time. The environmental threats we face in modern times is becoming more critical as time passes. We witness increasing rate of unprecedented natural disasters and the degree of those phenomena’s power are becoming stronger that make us fear our future. Even technological advances we made so far becomes trivial in front of those calamities. In order to sustain our life in this planet, technological advances are mandatory not only for the sake of ours but also for our future generations. Hence, determining technological advance’s goal should be reconsidered.

In sum, the speaker’s claim is unpersuasive in some points. While having more leisure time through technological advance could be a reasonable claim because flexible lifestyle, which comes from having leisure time, could enhance your own life efficiency, it is tenuous to assert as there are more important purpose for such advance. To bolster it, the speaker should broaden the scope of expected advantages of technological advances. Furthermore, the speaker should consider the need for such advances could actually be more primary for our future problems which threatens our life too.

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Average: 6.6 (1 vote)
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Grammar and spelling errors:
Line 5, column 632, Rule ID: IN_A_X_MANNER[1]
Message: Consider replacing "in a positive way" with adverb for "positive"; eg, "in a hasty manner" with "hastily".
...ally affects one's life efficiency in a positive way. Hence, as technological advance afford...
^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^

Transition Words or Phrases used:
actually, also, but, first, furthermore, hence, if, nevertheless, so, while, such as

Attributes: Values AverageValues Percentages(Values/AverageValues)% => Comments

Performance on Part of Speech:
To be verbs : 30.0 19.5258426966 154% => OK
Auxiliary verbs: 9.0 12.4196629213 72% => OK
Conjunction : 12.0 14.8657303371 81% => OK
Relative clauses : 14.0 11.3162921348 124% => OK
Pronoun: 42.0 33.0505617978 127% => Less pronouns wanted
Preposition: 58.0 58.6224719101 99% => OK
Nominalization: 10.0 12.9106741573 77% => OK

Performance on vocabulary words:
No of characters: 3004.0 2235.4752809 134% => OK
No of words: 535.0 442.535393258 121% => OK
Chars per words: 5.61495327103 5.05705443957 111% => OK
Fourth root words length: 4.80937282943 4.55969084622 105% => OK
Word Length SD: 3.23306893472 2.79657885939 116% => OK
Unique words: 257.0 215.323595506 119% => OK
Unique words percentage: 0.480373831776 0.4932671777 97% => OK
syllable_count: 963.9 704.065955056 137% => OK
avg_syllables_per_word: 1.8 1.59117977528 113% => OK

A sentence (or a clause, phrase) starts by:
Pronoun: 7.0 6.24550561798 112% => OK
Article: 7.0 4.99550561798 140% => OK
Subordination: 4.0 3.10617977528 129% => OK
Conjunction: 1.0 1.77640449438 56% => OK
Preposition: 5.0 4.38483146067 114% => OK

Performance on sentences:
How many sentences: 23.0 20.2370786517 114% => OK
Sentence length: 23.0 23.0359550562 100% => OK
Sentence length SD: 60.9011408785 60.3974514979 101% => OK
Chars per sentence: 130.608695652 118.986275619 110% => OK
Words per sentence: 23.2608695652 23.4991977007 99% => OK
Discourse Markers: 3.65217391304 5.21951772744 70% => OK
Paragraphs: 5.0 4.97078651685 101% => OK
Language errors: 1.0 7.80617977528 13% => OK
Sentences with positive sentiment : 14.0 10.2758426966 136% => OK
Sentences with negative sentiment : 7.0 5.13820224719 136% => OK
Sentences with neutral sentiment: 2.0 4.83258426966 41% => OK
What are sentences with positive/Negative/neutral sentiment?

Coherence and Cohesion:
Essay topic to essay body coherence: 0.411037128606 0.243740707755 169% => OK
Sentence topic coherence: 0.124246151935 0.0831039109588 150% => OK
Sentence topic coherence SD: 0.0667836847897 0.0758088955206 88% => OK
Paragraph topic coherence: 0.245210832227 0.150359130593 163% => OK
Paragraph topic coherence SD: 0.0402327714565 0.0667264976115 60% => OK

Essay readability:
automated_readability_index: 16.6 14.1392134831 117% => OK
flesch_reading_ease: 31.21 48.8420337079 64% => OK
smog_index: 11.2 7.92365168539 141% => OK
flesch_kincaid_grade: 14.6 12.1743820225 120% => OK
coleman_liau_index: 15.55 12.1639044944 128% => OK
dale_chall_readability_score: 8.88 8.38706741573 106% => OK
difficult_words: 139.0 100.480337079 138% => OK
linsear_write_formula: 10.5 11.8971910112 88% => OK
gunning_fog: 11.2 11.2143820225 100% => OK
text_standard: 11.0 11.7820224719 93% => OK
What are above readability scores?

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Rates: 66.67 out of 100
Scores by essay e-grader: 4.0 Out of 6
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Note: the e-grader does NOT examine the meaning of words and ideas. VIP users will receive further evaluations by advanced module of e-grader and human graders.