The development of technology save the time for workers. With this time, people can enjoy their leisure. But, at the same time, people can decide to spend their own time with other activities or just rest. Moreover, the efficiency in other fields can commit to other goals. Therefore, the claim that the goal of technology should be to make more time for leisure time seems to be implausible.
In the case the field of technologies are related with individual tasks, the attempts to promote the efficiency of individual prowess at working process is beneficial in virtue of that it would secure more time for workers. If people will have more free time, they would have more opportunities to enjoy leisure. With the leisure, people will be able to experience diverse thing and to meet people from board range of fields, concentrating only on their enjoyment with heavy burden of labor. That is, the more leisure time contributes to enhance individuals' welfare. For example, with the development of technologies related with housework, such as laundry machine, many house workers have been emancipated from time-consuming and arduous tasks. And this emancipation has increased many individual women' welfare by allowing more their own time to enjoy leisure.
However, there are no reason to assume that people will spend their free time exclusively for leisure, even though the technologies related individual working increase the efficiency so that many people can secure more time. We can think of many other cases of people would spend their time with other options. For instances, many people may decide to unwind at home. Moreover, there must be some people who want to use their time with working or studying, and yet the technologies allow time for them to take rest.
Moreover, when we consider the technologies usually applied to the social field or environmental field, the goal of advancement of technology should be something other than simply more leisure. Although the technologies used in the social or environmental filed also increase efficiency in various ways, the efficiency contribute to generate other values. For example, the development of technologies for military force would make the army more efficient organization. However, the efficiency is meaningful not because it secure more time for soldiers to enjoy leisure, but because it secure the safety of the people.
All in all, even though it is true that the advancement of the technology contributes to making more time for leisure to enhancing efficiency, we don't need to conclude that leisure should be the primary goal for the advancement of technology. Because, the free time secured by efficiency can be used differently saving leisure, and the efficiency in various field contribute to diverse purposes.
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Grammar and spelling errors:
Line 1, column 394, Rule ID: WHITESPACE_RULE
Message: Possible typo: you repeated a whitespace
Suggestion:
...r leisure time seems to be implausible. In the case the field of technologies ar...
^^^^^
Line 3, column 338, Rule ID: WHITESPACE_RULE
Message: Possible typo: you repeated a whitespace
Suggestion:
... enjoy leisure. With the leisure, people will be able to experience diverse thing...
^^
Line 6, column 1, Rule ID: ENGLISH_WORD_REPEAT_BEGINNING_RULE
Message: Two successive sentences begin with the same adverb. Reword the sentence or use a thesaurus to find a synonym.
...s allow time for them to take rest. Moreover, when we consider the technologies usua...
^^^^^^^^
Line 6, column 523, Rule ID: IT_VBZ[1]
Message: Did you mean 'secures'?
Suggestion: secures
...efficiency is meaningful not because it secure more time for soldiers to enjoy leisure...
^^^^^^
Line 6, column 586, Rule ID: IT_VBZ[1]
Message: Did you mean 'secures'?
Suggestion: secures
...ldiers to enjoy leisure, but because it secure the safety of the people. All in al...
^^^^^^
Line 8, column 147, Rule ID: EN_CONTRACTION_SPELLING
Message: Possible spelling mistake found
Suggestion: don't
...for leisure to enhancing efficiency, we dont need to conclude that leisure should be...
^^^^
Transition Words or Phrases used:
also, but, however, if, may, moreover, so, therefore, for example, for instance, such as, it is true
Attributes: Values AverageValues Percentages(Values/AverageValues)% => Comments
Performance on Part of Speech:
To be verbs : 14.0 19.5258426966 72% => OK
Auxiliary verbs: 19.0 12.4196629213 153% => OK
Conjunction : 11.0 14.8657303371 74% => OK
Relative clauses : 9.0 11.3162921348 80% => More relative clauses wanted.
Pronoun: 25.0 33.0505617978 76% => OK
Preposition: 62.0 58.6224719101 106% => OK
Nominalization: 11.0 12.9106741573 85% => OK
Performance on vocabulary words:
No of characters: 2350.0 2235.4752809 105% => OK
No of words: 449.0 442.535393258 101% => OK
Chars per words: 5.23385300668 5.05705443957 103% => OK
Fourth root words length: 4.60321845022 4.55969084622 101% => OK
Word Length SD: 2.81997203894 2.79657885939 101% => OK
Unique words: 190.0 215.323595506 88% => More unique words wanted.
Unique words percentage: 0.423162583519 0.4932671777 86% => More unique words wanted or less content wanted.
syllable_count: 763.2 704.065955056 108% => OK
avg_syllables_per_word: 1.7 1.59117977528 107% => OK
A sentence (or a clause, phrase) starts by:
Pronoun: 4.0 6.24550561798 64% => OK
Article: 10.0 4.99550561798 200% => Less articles wanted as sentence beginning.
Subordination: 5.0 3.10617977528 161% => OK
Conjunction: 4.0 1.77640449438 225% => Less conjunction wanted as sentence beginning.
Preposition: 5.0 4.38483146067 114% => OK
Performance on sentences:
How many sentences: 21.0 20.2370786517 104% => OK
Sentence length: 21.0 23.0359550562 91% => OK
Sentence length SD: 58.1585135506 60.3974514979 96% => OK
Chars per sentence: 111.904761905 118.986275619 94% => OK
Words per sentence: 21.380952381 23.4991977007 91% => OK
Discourse Markers: 4.7619047619 5.21951772744 91% => OK
Paragraphs: 5.0 4.97078651685 101% => OK
Language errors: 6.0 7.80617977528 77% => OK
Sentences with positive sentiment : 14.0 10.2758426966 136% => OK
Sentences with negative sentiment : 0.0 5.13820224719 0% => More negative sentences wanted.
Sentences with neutral sentiment: 7.0 4.83258426966 145% => OK
What are sentences with positive/Negative/neutral sentiment?
Coherence and Cohesion:
Essay topic to essay body coherence: 0.311599415459 0.243740707755 128% => OK
Sentence topic coherence: 0.1188257881 0.0831039109588 143% => OK
Sentence topic coherence SD: 0.0557982725039 0.0758088955206 74% => OK
Paragraph topic coherence: 0.212396174647 0.150359130593 141% => OK
Paragraph topic coherence SD: 0.0126447981855 0.0667264976115 19% => Paragraphs are similar to each other. Some content may get duplicated or it is not exactly right on the topic.
Essay readability:
automated_readability_index: 13.9 14.1392134831 98% => OK
flesch_reading_ease: 41.7 48.8420337079 85% => OK
smog_index: 11.2 7.92365168539 141% => OK
flesch_kincaid_grade: 12.7 12.1743820225 104% => OK
coleman_liau_index: 13.05 12.1639044944 107% => OK
dale_chall_readability_score: 7.56 8.38706741573 90% => OK
difficult_words: 82.0 100.480337079 82% => More difficult words wanted.
linsear_write_formula: 9.0 11.8971910112 76% => OK
gunning_fog: 10.4 11.2143820225 93% => OK
text_standard: 14.0 11.7820224719 119% => OK
What are above readability scores?
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Rates: 66.67 out of 100
Scores by essay e-grader: 4.0 Out of 6
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Note: the e-grader does NOT examine the meaning of words and ideas. VIP users will receive further evaluations by advanced module of e-grader and human graders.