Young people should be encouraged to pursue long-term, realistic goals rather than seek immediate fame and recognition.
Write a response in which you discuss the extent to which you agree or disagree with the recommendation and explain your reasoning for the position you take. In developing and supporting your position, describe specific circumstances in which adopting the recommendation would or would not be advantageous and explain how these examples shape your position.
Should young people be motivated to pursue long term goals? As far as I am concerned the answer is loud "yes" due to the fact that hard work may bring a lot of fruits in the future for them; however, youngsters are prone to pursue instant fame and success.
First of all, it is natural for human being to desire to have everything immediately. Look at a child when he wants to eat he loudly cries to be fed, he satisfies his natural needs immediately without postpone. The same order we may see in the nature: if a an animal desires to have progeny, it will have intercourse with the female. Of course, you may assert that we are not creatures, that we are higher and more complex than an average life being. Nevertheless, we still have a lot of in common with the nature and our attempt to satisfy our desires are natural. Moreover, these natural impulses are supported by modern mass-media and internet which actively promote that each person may become famous and respected overnight without hard work. When this impact is combined with the natural impulses we have offspring who do not think about the future and endlessly try to find a cheap and short recongintion in the internet.
To combat this hurmful influence we need to steer and support our progeny and give them motivation to pursue a long term aims. This policy brings some positive consequences for both society and youngsters. For instance, some profession and specialization require from a person to study for long time and sometimes devote life to the profession. Consequently, a person has to begin preparation at young age. One of the most striking examples is professional athletes. In many kinds of sport from swimming to running it is essential to participate to the sport activity at age of 5 or even earlier. In this case, the growth and formation of child's body is impacted by sport and it is a key to future successful professional career.
But not only sport requires from a person to start to pursue a goal earlier. For instance, such professions as doctor, pilot, politician demand from a person to start preparation to career in these fields at school. For example, to become a doctor a profound knowledge about chemistry, biology is a necessity and basis for it founded at school years.
However, the most grave benefits from pursuing long term goals probably get gifted and talented children. Although many of us assume that if a child bright he or she will automatically succeed in their activity but some psychological researches of gifted students point out that the talent is a possibility which may be realised or may be lost. A active training and hard work, parents and teachers encouragement are important for becoming a famous and successful adult.
In conclusion, although today mass-media actively promotes that the youth should pursue immediate satisfaction of their dreams and desires, we should protect youngsters from this negative impact. We need to support and stimulate children in pursuing long term goal due to the fact that it is only wat to become truly famous and successful person.
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to study for long time
to study for a long time
Sentence: The same order we may see in the nature: if a an animal desires to have progeny, it will have intercourse with the female.
Description: The token a is not usually followed by an article
Suggestion: Refer to a and an
Sentence: Although many of us assume that if a child bright he or she will automatically succeed in their activity but some psychological researches of gifted students point out that the talent is a possibility which may be realised or may be lost.
Description: A noun, singular, common is not usually followed by an adjective
Suggestion: Refer to child and bright
Sentence: A active training and hard work, parents and teachers encouragement are important for becoming a famous and successful adult.
Description: A noun, plural, common is not usually followed by a noun, singular, common
Suggestion: Refer to teachers and encouragement
Sentence: When this impact is combined with the natural impulses we have offspring who do not think about the future and endlessly try to find a cheap and short recongintion in the internet.
Error: recongintion Suggestion: recognition
Sentence: To combat this hurmful influence we need to steer and support our progeny and give them motivation to pursue a long term aims.
Error: hurmful Suggestion: harmful
Sentence: We need to support and stimulate children in pursuing long term goal due to the fact that it is only wat to become truly famous and successful person.
Error: wat Suggestion: way
flaws:
So what are those advantages of pursuing long-term, realistic goals rather than seek immediate fame and recognition? It is not clear.
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Attribute Value Ideal
Score: 3.5 out of 6
Category: Satisfactory Excellent
No. of Grammatical Errors: 4 2
No. of Spelling Errors: 3 2
No. of Sentences: 24 15
No. of Words: 528 350
No. of Characters: 2510 1500
No. of Different Words: 268 200
Fourth Root of Number of Words: 4.794 4.7
Average Word Length: 4.754 4.6
Word Length SD: 2.676 2.4
No. of Words greater than 5 chars: 185 100
No. of Words greater than 6 chars: 126 80
No. of Words greater than 7 chars: 90 40
No. of Words greater than 8 chars: 53 20
Use of Passive Voice (%): 0 0
Avg. Sentence Length: 22 21.0
Sentence Length SD: 8.185 7.5
Use of Discourse Markers (%): 0.625 0.12
Sentence-Text Coherence: 0.266 0.35
Sentence-Para Coherence: 0.512 0.50
Sentence-Sentence Coherence: 0.141 0.07
Number of Paragraphs: 6 5