The chart below shows the total number of minutes (in millions) of telephone calls in Finland, divided into three categories, from 1995 – 2004.
Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.

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The chart below shows the total number of minutes (in millions) of telephone calls in Finland, divided into three categories, from 1995 – 2004.
Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.

The graph below gives information on phone calls in Finland, in million minutes and gathered into three categories, local, national and international - landline and mobiles over a nine-year period, from 1995 to 2004.

Overall it is possible to clearly notice that the local landline, although fluctuating, was the best preferred ever over the given period while, on the other hand, national and international landline and mobile phone calls staidly rose with the former at highest level compare to the latter one.

The biggest growth is clearly notable in mobile phone calls which were approximately at zero in 1995 and went up constantly over the nine years to reach almost 10,000 million minutes in 2004. Fluctuations can only be seen on local landline that reached 12,000 million minutes in 1994, rose staidly till 2001 with a peak of over 16,000 million minutes and finally decreased in the following two years till 12,000 in 2004. National and international phone calls rose slightly from 6,000 million minutes in 1995 to almost 10,000 in 2004.

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flaws:
Avg. Sentence Length: 34.2 21.0
Number of Paragraphs: 3 4

May give one conclusion paragraph.

Attribute Value Ideal
Score: 7.0 out of 9
Category: Good Excellent
No. of Grammatical Errors: 0 2
No. of Spelling Errors: 0 2
No. of Sentences: 5 10
No. of Words: 171 200
No. of Characters: 861 1000
No. of Different Words: 94 100
Fourth Root of Number of Words: 3.616 4.7
Average Word Length: 5.035 4.6
Word Length SD: 2.52 2.4
No. of Words greater than 5 chars: 62 60
No. of Words greater than 6 chars: 47 50
No. of Words greater than 7 chars: 24 40
No. of Words greater than 8 chars: 13 20
Use of Passive Voice (%): 0 0
Avg. Sentence Length: 34.2 21.0
Sentence Length SD: 9.786 7.5
Use of Discourse Markers (%): 0.4 0.12
Sentence-Text Coherence: 0.609 0.35
Sentence-Para Coherence: 0.824 0.50
Sentence-Sentence Coherence: 0.193 0.07
Number of Paragraphs: 3 4

Thank you sir for the feedback, however the second paragraph is the conclusion.
I have been taught to do so, so that whenever there is no enough time for task 1, you still have give them an intro and a conclusion... so, is it a wrong approach?