Doctors say that many people have health problems due to lack of physical activity. What is your opinion on this issue? What might be the reasons for this? What are the ways to improve the situation?
Today, we live in the mechanical world that everything do by machines. Thanks to machines our life became very easier than the past. For example, in factories we do not have to consume a lot of energy to produce some things, we do all hard jobs with machines.
In my opinion, people become lazier than the past. In the past, our grandparents were more active. They walk most of the time, they work on the land. They used their hands to do their jobs. They ate healthy foot and also they have healthy air and water. Newsday, everything is changed. People forgot to use their body, they just sitting around and watching each other. They eat junk food and they think do some exercise is wasting time. Unfortunately, physical activity is missed in the school too. Children prefer play with computer rather than play sport.
As we know our body needs to be active. If we do not some simple exercise like walking, in the future we will have some health problem like back ahead or heart attack. Every day we heard doctors said if you do not have time to go to gym just walking more than ten minutes every day. All of thing show us how physical activity is important for our life. We have to change our life style.
For change our life style, we do not need do wired stuff. We just need pay attention to our self. We can persuade our children to go out and play simple sport like running. Also, we can do some simple exercise when we sit on chair. When we back home or go to work, we can walk some block.
The ideal solution for this situation is global education. As we teach driver to obey law, we can teach people to do some simple exercise. It is very good that have some free sports devices in the parks. We can show more programs in the TV that teach simple exercise that everybody can do at home.
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Today, we live in the mechanical world that everything do by machines.
Today, we live in the mechanical world that everything does by machines.
Sentence: Thanks to machines our life became very easier than the past.
Description: A noun, plural, common is not usually followed by a determiner, possessive
Suggestion: Thanks to machines, our life became much easier than that in the past.
Sentence: All of thing show us how physical activity is important for our life.
Description: The fragment thing show us is rare
Suggestion: Possible agreement error: Replace show with verb, past tense
flaws:
Avg. Sentence Length: 12.481 21.0
Sentence Length SD: 5.087 7.5
Attribute Value Ideal
Score: 6.5 out of 9
Category: Good Excellent
No. of Grammatical Errors: 3 2
No. of Spelling Errors: 0 2
No. of Sentences: 27 15
No. of Words: 337 350
No. of Characters: 1414 1500
No. of Different Words: 175 200
Fourth Root of Number of Words: 4.285 4.7
Average Word Length: 4.196 4.6
Word Length SD: 2.024 2.4
No. of Words greater than 5 chars: 78 100
No. of Words greater than 6 chars: 47 80
No. of Words greater than 7 chars: 30 40
No. of Words greater than 8 chars: 11 20
Use of Passive Voice (%): 0 0
Avg. Sentence Length: 12.481 21.0
Sentence Length SD: 5.087 7.5
Use of Discourse Markers (%): 0.222 0.12
Sentence-Text Coherence: 0.315 0.35
Sentence-Para Coherence: 0.481 0.50
Sentence-Sentence Coherence: 0.196 0.07
Number of Paragraphs: 5 5