It has been proved that smoking kills. In some countries it has been made illegal for people to smoke in all public places except in certain areas. All countries should make these rules.
Do you agree or disagree with this statement?
It’s always very difficult to write about others behavior, and everyone should remember that every human being is born free and independent (or at least he should be). Smoking laws are a perfect example of the bounds that in a civil society have to be created.
It is widely accepted in fact that someone’s freedom ends where someone other’s begin.
So, how can we deal with that? In my opinion the lawmaker should keep in mind a twofold goal: on one side he should protect society, especially its weakest members (children for example), and therefore avoid smokers to poison others. (In that direction go the laws that avoid people smoking in public places). On the other side the lawmaker should protect individual freedom. History has given us lots of examples of how easy is to goes from libertarian and democratic societies to despotic and repressive ones.
It is my firm conviction, though, that is not a state business what a person does with his body and in his own privacy. Anyway I have to say that cigarettes and similar should be more heavily taxed as far as they imply an expensive effort for public healthcare. This way the state could rise a good amount of money out of smokers taxes and cover their future need for cures.
In sum, I think that every person should be free of doing whatever he/she wants with his/her body (as well as in his/her privacy); the state has no right to interfere with someone’s own life, but it has the duty, as well, to protect others from dangerous individuals’ behaviors.
In conclusion, I agree with those who hope that all countries will make illegal for people to smoke in public places, but I would also warn them to be very careful and keep an eye on state power.
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Sentence: History has given us lots of examples of how easy is to goes from libertarian and democratic societies to despotic and repressive ones.
Description: The token to is not usually followed by a verb, present tense, 3rd person singular
Suggestion: Refer to to and goes
flaws:
Both 'In sum' and 'In conclusion' are for conclusion. Don't make two paragraphs for conclusion.
Attribute Value Ideal
Score: 6.5 out of 9
Category: Good Excellent
No. of Grammatical Errors: 1 2
No. of Spelling Errors: 0 2
No. of Sentences: 13 15
No. of Words: 307 350
No. of Characters: 1367 1500
No. of Different Words: 182 200
Fourth Root of Number of Words: 4.186 4.7
Average Word Length: 4.453 4.6
Word Length SD: 2.29 2.4
No. of Words greater than 5 chars: 89 100
No. of Words greater than 6 chars: 61 80
No. of Words greater than 7 chars: 33 40
No. of Words greater than 8 chars: 22 20
Use of Passive Voice (%): 0 0
Avg. Sentence Length: 23.615 21.0
Sentence Length SD: 11.842 7.5
Use of Discourse Markers (%): 0.538 0.12
Sentence-Text Coherence: 0.317 0.35
Sentence-Para Coherence: 0.591 0.50
Sentence-Sentence Coherence: 0.094 0.07
Number of Paragraphs: 5 5