The main reason people go to work is to earn money. To what extent do you agree or disagree?
It is true that the prime factor which drives people to work is money. There may be various ranges of reasons for working, but I strongly believe that financial reason is the main motivation for people to work.
I agree that the majority of people work in order to earn money. Before taking any other factors into account, it is normal to first consider the salary that a particular post offers. It is rare to hear of a person who happily takes cut in pay when they beginning a new job. We all need money to pay our basic necessities, such as accommodation, bills and food. Many adults also have families who depend on the wages they earn and at the same time they are conscious about the savings for the future. If we no longer needed the money, I doubt most of us would continue in our jobs.
Despite the above arguments, I believe that there are also some other factors why people work. Work is a way of realizing one’s social value, earn money is not the only purpose. For example, Mother Theresa never worked for money, but was immensely happy with what she was doing. Work can motivate people to move forward in life, learn new skills and knowledge, become useful in society. Furthermore, working makes a good person either for himself or for his families and people also work to have communication with others which makes more more cheerful in life.They can earn their money, not depend on others which makes them more confident.
For the reasons mentioned above, I strongly agree that financial reason is the main attraction and motivation for people to work.
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PLease advice me to improve my essay.
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thanks
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Sentence: Furthermore,
Sentence: Furthermore, working makes a good person either for himself or for his families and people also work to have communication with others which makes more more cheerful in life.They can earn their money, not depend on others which makes them more confident.
Description: The fragment more more contains a repeated word
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More words and more different words wanted.
Expand your ideas with examples.
Focus on one side like this:
para 1: my opinion. agree or disagree
para 2: reason 1
para 3: reason 2
para 4: reason 3 (optional)
para 5: conclusion: because of reasons 1,2,3, so i agree/disagree.
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Sentence-Text Coherence: 0.354 0.35
Sentence-Para Coherence: 0.535 0.50
Sentence-Sentence Coherence: 0.113 0.07
Number of Paragraphs: 4 5
hai Bina..
You have some good points..
While answering aquestion agree/disagree you can...
Agree/disagree completly: discuss one side if agree write down the reason 1,2, 3 and its examples in seperate paras..
no need to explain opposite side.
If partcially agreeing you should explain both sides with examples..
The 1 body para esach reasons elaborate and cut off the second para which you explained the opposite view..
All the best..
Tessy.