As mass communication and transport continue to grow, societies are becoming more and more alike leading to a phenomenon known as globalization. Some people fear that globalization will inevitably lead to the total loss of cultural identity.To what extent

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As mass communication and transport continue to grow, societies are becoming more and more alike leading to a phenomenon known as globalization. Some people fear that globalization will inevitably lead to the total loss of cultural identity.
To what extent do you agree or disagree with this statement?
Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.

In recent years, we hear a lot about globalization and its effects. Globalization means people around the world do the same thing ,eat the same food, wear the same dress, listen to same music. In current economic world, old boundaries between countries lose their meanings.

I agree with this idea that globalization has bad effect on our culture. In fact, globalization eventually change our life style. Every nation has especially culture, foods, festivals and so on, but all of this term might lose their especially meanings. For example globalization has effect on the music that we are listening. In my country Iran, for many centuries we had especial kind of music and musical instruments such as the Tar, the Tonbak, the Daf. Today this kind of music called traditional music, and it does not as popular as the past. Consequently, most of the young people prefer listen to other kind of music such as pop music, rap music instead of traditional music.

Every country has especial festival. For example western countries have a especial day that called the Valentine's Day. Today, we can see people who live around the world celebrate this day. In fact it does not bad at all until people forget their local events and especial days. This samples are true about foods we eat, the clothes we wear, even language that we are speaking.

To conclude, I think we must aware of drawback of globalization. We should know if we lose our culture, we will forget our history, our past generation that lived in our country. We should find the way to keep our culture.

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2013-01-27 marzieh 60 view
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2012-09-14 maryam2900 70 view
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Sentence: In recent years, we have hear a lot about globalization and its effects.
Description: A verb 'to have', uninflected present tense, infinitive or is not usually followed by a verb, base: uninflected present, imperative or infinitive
Suggestion: Refer to have and hear

Sentence: Globalization means everything in world could integrated together.
Description: A modal auxillary is not usually followed by a verb, past participle
Suggestion: Refer to could and integrated

Sentence: I believe one of globalization's effect is meaning of everything become change.
Description: The fragment everything become change is rare
Suggestion: Possible agreement error: Replace become with verb, present tense, 3rd person singular

Sentence: In fact, globalization try to remove old limitation in human's life.
Description: The fragment globalization try to is rare
Suggestion: Possible agreement error: Replace try with verb, past tense

Sentence: Every nation has especially culture, foods, festivals and so on, but all of this term are meaningless in globalization.
Description: The fragment has especially culture is rare
Suggestion: Possible agreement error: Replace especially with adjective

Sentence: For example globalization change the music that we are listening.
Description: The fragment globalization change the is rare
Suggestion: Possible agreement error: Replace change with verb, past tense

Sentence: Today, we can see people who live around the world celebrate this day.
Description: The fragment world celebrate this is rare
Suggestion: Possible agreement error: Replace celebrate with verb, past tense

Sentence: This samples are true about foods we are eating, the clothes that we are wearing, even language that we are speaking.
Description: A determiner/pronoun, singular is not usually followed by a noun, plural, common
Suggestion: Refer to This and samples

flaws:
No. of Grammatical Errors: 8 2

Hi marzieh, you have big problems on grammar. Read some grammar books and try to correct those grammatical errors.

Attribute Value Ideal
Score: 4.5 out of 9
Category: Poor Excellent
No. of Grammatical Errors: 8 2
No. of Spelling Errors: 10 2
No. of Sentences: 19 15
No. of Words: 263 350
No. of Characters: 1267 1500
No. of Different Words: 149 200
Fourth Root of Number of Words: 4.027 4.7
Average Word Length: 4.817 4.6
Word Length SD: 2.757 2.4
No. of Words greater than 5 chars: 84 100
No. of Words greater than 6 chars: 62 80
No. of Words greater than 7 chars: 39 40
No. of Words greater than 8 chars: 27 20
Use of Passive Voice (%): 0 0
Avg. Sentence Length: 13.842 21.0
Sentence Length SD: 4.913 7.5
Use of Discourse Markers (%): 0.526 0.12
Sentence-Text Coherence: 0.319 0.35
Sentence-Para Coherence: 0.508 0.50
Sentence-Sentence Coherence: 0.198 0.07
Number of Paragraphs: 4 5