The only way to reduce the amount of traffic in cities today is by reducing the need for people to travel from home for work, education or shopping. To what extent do you agree or disagree?
Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.
It is true that problem of traffic jam is caused by people travelling for working, studying, and shopping. While some people agree, I think the idea is rather dubious. There are some reasons I will show in this essay.
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Nowadays, the development of advanced technology, such as cellphone and internet, helps humans improve their life. People use the technology to communicate one another in different miles away. For example, on-line learning between students and a lecture is always conducted in the worldwide, or leading a meeting using a Skype and emails turns into a trendsetting way. In the same time, people who live in the rural areas are easier to buy clothes without going to the store. For some people, it is a conclusion which could reduce the need for travelling which uses public or private transportation.
On the other hand, I believe the use of technology to improve daily life rarely work perfectly. It can be seen that miscommunication amongst workers who prefer to stay at home for completing their jobs sometimes occurs because they use on-line equipment which cannot support their communication, such weak signals for a Skype. People dealing with studying and shopping also impact this trouble. For the students, it is hard to complete the task if internet use cannot work well, or the trading relying on on-line transaction mostly copes with e-crime. Today, these are cases which could probably show new problem for human life besides traffic.
In conclusion, it seems to me that the idea to reduce the amount of traffic in cities today by reducing the need for people to travel from home for work, education or shopping could not be the best choice.
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I've changed it. Please check
I've changed it. Please check it out, Thanks.
flaws: No. of Different
flaws:
No. of Different Words: 166 200
Sentence-Sentence Coherence: 0.039 0.07
Attribute Value Ideal
Score: 6.0 out of 9
Category: Good Excellent
No. of Grammatical Errors: 0 2
No. of Spelling Errors: 0 2
No. of Sentences: 14 15
No. of Words: 281 350
No. of Characters: 1357 1500
No. of Different Words: 166 200
Fourth Root of Number of Words: 4.094 4.7
Average Word Length: 4.829 4.6
Word Length SD: 2.55 2.4
No. of Words greater than 5 chars: 99 100
No. of Words greater than 6 chars: 72 80
No. of Words greater than 7 chars: 38 40
No. of Words greater than 8 chars: 23 20
Use of Passive Voice (%): 0 0
Avg. Sentence Length: 20.071 21.0
Sentence Length SD: 9.051 7.5
Use of Discourse Markers (%): 0.643 0.12
Sentence-Text Coherence: 0.323 0.35
Sentence-Para Coherence: 0.528 0.50
Sentence-Sentence Coherence: 0.039 0.07
Number of Paragraphs: 4 5
Sentence: People use the technology to communicate each others in different miles away.
Description: A determiner/pronoun, singular is not usually followed by a noun, plural, common
Suggestion: Refer to each and others
flaws:
No. of Words: 270 350
No. of Different Words: 159 200
The essay is out of topic.
The essay asked 'The only way to reduce the amount of traffic in cities today is by reducing the need for people to travel from home for work, education or shopping'
while you are writing 'the idea to reduce the traffic problem using internet as a means of communication could not be the best choice.'
Attribute Value Ideal
Score: ? out of 9
Category: ? Excellent
No. of Grammatical Errors: 1 2
No. of Spelling Errors: 0 2
No. of Sentences: 14 15
No. of Words: 270 350
No. of Characters: 1310 1500
No. of Different Words: 159 200
Fourth Root of Number of Words: 4.054 4.7
Average Word Length: 4.852 4.6
Word Length SD: 2.616 2.4
No. of Words greater than 5 chars: 94 100
No. of Words greater than 6 chars: 71 80
No. of Words greater than 7 chars: 37 40
No. of Words greater than 8 chars: 23 20
Use of Passive Voice (%): 0 0
Avg. Sentence Length: 19.286 21.0
Sentence Length SD: 7.759 7.5
Use of Discourse Markers (%): 0.643 0.12
Sentence-Text Coherence: 0.322 0.35
Sentence-Para Coherence: 0.528 0.50
Sentence-Sentence Coherence: 0.044 0.07
Number of Paragraphs: 4 5