In the past, people usually stayed in one place throughout their life. These days, people often move around. They often live in several different places in their lifetime. What are the advantages and disadvantages of both?
Moving to one country to another country seems like a part of lifestyle nowadays. There are numbers of inhabitants migrate to new places in order to get better life. However, there are both advantages and disadvantages regarding this matter.
According to Affan Muzakki, a sociologist of Hamburg University, thinks that at least there are three main factors which make inhabitants often moving around. Industrialized countries offer many opportunities for employment. Many citizens from developing countries tend to leave their beloved country to get job with competitive salary. So they can send money home to help their family members. Secondly, numbers of inhabitants decide to continue their study in advanced country. There is no choice for those people, they have to go out from their comfort zone to raise their dream. Thirdly, some people feel bored with their conventional lifestyle. This circumstances force them to make different way.
Job is the most common reason, every person needs to find a great job that suit with his or her qualification and education with a good salary that allow him or her to live a dignify life. Moreover, conventional lifestyle and life pressure make some people prefer to move around to some countries to get satisfying life. All reasons above can be said as some advantages because it is quite understandable inhabitants need change in their life to get better future.
On the other hand, some sceptical people think that all reasons above may be accepted logically, but people have to think about the disadvantages. The inhabitants have to adapt with their new environment. It makes people become strange on native people’s eyes, so there is no kinship in society. In addition, children sometimes cannot adapt quickly. If people usually move from one country to another country, their children will get mental shock and will be damage to their character building.
To sum up, always moving from one place to another place probably have many benefits, but parents should pay attention to their children mental in order to avoid bad impacts from this matter.
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Sentence: This circumstances force them to make different way.
Description: A determiner/pronoun, singular is not usually followed by a noun, plural, common
Suggestion: Refer to This and circumstances
a good salary that allow him or her to live a dignify life.
a good salary that allows him or her to live in a dignify life.
Sentence: On the other hand, some sceptical people think that all reasons above may be accepted logically, but people have to think about the disadvantages.
Error: sceptical Suggestion: skeptical
flaws:
The essay is not exactly right on the topic. 'move around' doesn't mean 'move to other countries'. And the essay is not related to 'parents should pay attention to their children...'.
Attribute Value Ideal
Score: ?
Category: ? Excellent
No. of Grammatical Errors: 3 2
No. of Spelling Errors: 0 2
No. of Sentences: 20 15
No. of Words: 341 350
No. of Characters: 1721 1500
No. of Different Words: 199 200
Fourth Root of Number of Words: 4.297 4.7
Average Word Length: 5.047 4.6
Word Length SD: 2.65 2.4
No. of Words greater than 5 chars: 122 100
No. of Words greater than 6 chars: 85 80
No. of Words greater than 7 chars: 54 40
No. of Words greater than 8 chars: 38 20
Use of Passive Voice (%): 0 0
Avg. Sentence Length: 17.05 21.0
Sentence Length SD: 8.375 7.5
Use of Discourse Markers (%): 0.55 0.12
Sentence-Text Coherence: 0.286 0.35
Sentence-Para Coherence: 0.494 0.50
Sentence-Sentence Coherence: 0.081 0.07
Number of Paragraphs: 5 5