The position of women in society has changed markedly in the last twenty years. Many of the problems young people now experience, such as juvenile delinquency, arise from the fact that many married women now work and are not at home to care for their children. To what extent do you agree or disagree with this opinion?
Nowdays, gender problams have been agrued among society. Many people asking for the same opportunities between man and women in all subject including work, education, and the other social activities. If woman traditionally have restricted to work in the past, now you can see many women free to work in deffer occation. However, difference position of women in society can lead us to a new problem related with children. It is tru that women should have access to the same professional as long as they do not leave their responsibilities in their family, while I believe that some of them could not handle it in the same time so that attention to their children will decline.
The lack of closeness in families can have negative effect on children such us juvenile delinquency. It can happen when their parent are busy to work. Many parents have no idea how their children spend their time. Teenagers can be influenced by their friends, television, or the internet, thereby it can change their behavior to a bad thing. As a result, parents should determined each position in family. If father is a breadwinner than mother should take care of their children. Nevertheless both of parents should share these rensponsibilities together.
Finally, woman as a mother should mantain their attention to their children. Even though they have to work at the same time. To avoid increasing of juvenile delinquency, woman should manage to devide thei attention in work and in family. If they can not do multitasking they should just do their responsibilities of taking care their children.
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| 2013-11-25 | Saleh_ADNA | 70 | view |
| 2013-11-20 | Mita Puspasari | 69 | view |
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| 2013-11-20 | nikilos | 66 | view |
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- The position of women in society has changed markedly in the last twenty years. Many of the problems young people now experience, such as juvenile delinquency, arise from the fact that many married women now work and are not at home to care for their chil 55
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Sentence: As a result, parents should determined each position in family.
Description: A modal auxillary is not usually followed by a verb, past participle
Suggestion: Refer to should and determined
Sentence: Nowdays, gender problams have been agrued among society.
Error: agrued Suggestion: agreed
Error: problams Suggestion: problems
Sentence: If woman traditionally have restricted to work in the past, now you can see many women free to work in deffer occation.
Error: deffer Suggestion: defer
Error: occation Suggestion: occasion
Sentence: Nevertheless both of parents should share these rensponsibilities together.
Error: rensponsibilities Suggestion: responsibilities
Sentence: Finally, woman as a mother should mantain their attention to their children.
Error: mantain Suggestion: maintain
Sentence: To avoid increasing of juvenile delinquency, woman should manage to devide thei attention in work and in family.
Error: thei Suggestion: their
Error: devide Suggestion: decide
Sentence: If they can not do multitasking they should just do their responsibilities of taking care their children.
Error: multitasking Suggestion: multicasting
flaws:
No. of Spelling Errors: 9 2
No. of Different Words: 146 200
Number of Paragraphs: 3 5
better to have 5 paragraphs:
para 1: introduction.
para 2: reason 1
para 3: reason 2
para 4: reason 3 (optional)
para 5: conclusion
Attribute Value Ideal
Score: 5.0 out of 9
Category: Satisfactory Excellent
No. of Grammatical Errors: 1 2
No. of Spelling Errors: 9 2
No. of Sentences: 16 15
No. of Words: 263 350
No. of Characters: 1286 1500
No. of Different Words: 146 200
Fourth Root of Number of Words: 4.027 4.7
Average Word Length: 4.89 4.6
Word Length SD: 2.803 2.4
No. of Words greater than 5 chars: 90 100
No. of Words greater than 6 chars: 60 80
No. of Words greater than 7 chars: 43 40
No. of Words greater than 8 chars: 25 20
Use of Passive Voice (%): 0 0
Avg. Sentence Length: 16.438 21.0
Sentence Length SD: 9.124 7.5
Use of Discourse Markers (%): 0.5 0.12
Sentence-Text Coherence: 0.342 0.35
Sentence-Para Coherence: 0.473 0.50
Sentence-Sentence Coherence: 0.102 0.07
Number of Paragraphs: 3 5