Problems surrounding people & their solutions

Essay topics:

Problems surrounding people & their solutions

People meet face to face different problems during their life &, we should try to solve it that's why, we can everything what we want, if we try & believe to achieve that thing. In this essay, I want to write about damaging of smoking. I think, smoking is one of the most essential problem in our lives. Most of people who smokers say that when they are smoking they can relax and, it helps them with stress. But it is definitely wrong way because, it brings so many poor results.

Firstly, it harmful for their health & surrounding people, as it awfully influences to skin & teeth besides, if you keep smoking very long time, you will get lots of types of disease such as asthma, bronchitis & heart illness, however you are not going only to die early but you will develop sickness
Secondly, smokers waste so much money therefore, when people start to smoke, they can't stop it in a short time, even if they can spend of these money for other useful things.

Another pitiful way, too many students are found smoking on school campus, at that time, parents should be authoritative to their childre. Moreover, students can participate in out of school activities such as sport to keep their attention from away cause, in sport, they can learn only positive thinking.

In conclusion, in my opinion, smoking must be banned & we should never forget that health is obviously the most valuable treasure in our life.

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Sentence: Most of people who smokers say that when they are smoking they can relax and, it helps them with stress.
Description: A verb, present tense, 3rd person singular is not usually followed by a verb, base: uninflected present, imperative or infinitive
Suggestion: Refer to smokers and say

Sentence: Firstly, it harmful for their health & surrounding people, as it awfully influences to skin & teeth besides, if you keep smoking very long time, you will get lots of types of disease such as asthma, bronchitis & heart illness, however you are not going only to die early but you will develop sickness Secondly, smokers waste so much money therefore, when people start to smoke, they can't stop it in a short time, even if they can spend of these money for other useful things.
Description: A pronoun, personal, nominative, 3rd person singular is not usually followed by an adjective
Suggestion: Refer to it and harmful

Sentence: Another pitiful way, too many students are found smoking on school campus, at that time, parents should be authoritative to their childre.
Error: childre Suggestion: children

flaws:
No. of Words: 245 350
No. of Characters: 1117 1500
No. of Different Words: 155 200

More words wanted.

Attribute Value Ideal
Score: 5.5 out of 9
Category: Good Excellent
No. of Grammatical Errors: 2 2
No. of Spelling Errors: 1 2
No. of Sentences: 9 15
No. of Words: 245 350
No. of Characters: 1117 1500
No. of Different Words: 155 200
Fourth Root of Number of Words: 3.956 4.7
Average Word Length: 4.559 4.6
Word Length SD: 2.254 2.4
No. of Words greater than 5 chars: 73 100
No. of Words greater than 6 chars: 51 80
No. of Words greater than 7 chars: 25 40
No. of Words greater than 8 chars: 14 20
Use of Passive Voice (%): 0 0
Avg. Sentence Length: 27.222 21.0
Sentence Length SD: 20.794 7.5
Use of Discourse Markers (%): 0.667 0.12
Sentence-Text Coherence: 0.375 0.35
Sentence-Para Coherence: 0.639 0.50
Sentence-Sentence Coherence: 0.127 0.07
Number of Paragraphs: 4 5