Should wealthy nations be required to share their wealth among poorer nations by providing such things as food and education Or is it the responsibility of the governments of poorer nations to look after citizens themselves

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Should wealthy nations be required to share their wealth among poorer nations by providing such things as food and education? Or is it the responsibility of the governments of poorer nations to look after citizens themselves?

In recent 20 years, some countries have been transforming into developed countries, such as China, Japan and Singapore but many other countries have not been transforming at all and still being poorer countries. We are not living alone in this earth and need a hand from others. From this phenomena, I would like to argue that wealth nations have to share the hands to the poorer countries because many of them take advantages from the weakness and poorer countries also cannot stand by themselves but need something that can boost them up.

Firstly, in this era, many wealth countries take benefit...

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Sentence: The strengthen one is my country has lots of people who have good intelligence but the weakness one is they still need to be pointed into good quality of education.
Description: The token is is not usually followed by a pronoun, personal, nominative, not 3rd person singular
Suggestion: Refer to is and they

Sentence: Indonesia has drawbacks in education area compared to other countries in Asia, so that is way the countries that have similar problem with Indonesia suppose to give as same resolution as Indonesia.
Description: The word way is not usually used as an adverb
Suggestion: Refer to way
Description: The fragment Indonesia suppose to is rare
Suggestion: Possible agreement error: Replace suppose with verb, past tense

Attribute Value Ideal
Score: 7.0 out of 9
Category: Good Excellent
No. of Grammatical Errors: 3 2
No. of Spelling Errors: 0 2
No. of Sentences: 19 15
No. of Words: 438 350
No. of Characters: 2171 1500
No. of Different Words: 200 200
Fourth Root of Number of Words: 4.575 4.7
Average Word Length: 4.957 4.6
Word Length SD: 2.605 2.4
No. of Words greater than 5 chars: 155 100
No. of Words greater than 6 chars: 120 80
No. of Words greater than 7 chars: 85 40
No. of Words greater than 8 chars: 66 20
Use of Passive Voice (%): 0 0
Avg. Sentence Length: 23.053 21.0
Sentence Length SD: 9.344 7.5
Use of Discourse Markers (%): 0.842 0.12
Sentence-Text Coherence: 0.359 0.35
Sentence-Para Coherence: 0.522 0.50
Sentence-Sentence Coherence: 0.168 0.07
Number of Paragraphs: 4 5