In some countries the average weight of people is increasing and their levels of health and fitness are decreasing.What do you think are the causes of these problems and what measures would be taken to solve them?

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In some countries the average weight of people is increasing and their levels of health and fitness are decreasing.
What do you think are the causes of these problems and what measures would be taken to solve them?

Obesity is a concerned problem all over the world, thus, its' proportions are increasing rapidly and as a result the health status and the fitness is decreasing rapidly.

Nowadays, people are getting more and more lazy and they are opened to the sudden boom of technology.Therefore, people tend to use television, video games and computers so most of the younger generation use to sit in front of a computer, playing video games throughout the day and they use to take junk food as a boost for their activity so this cause to develop obese people.Furthermore, they used to sit in one place rather than doing some physical work which will exercise their body.Exercising is an essential fact to be healthy.Therefore, younger generation can walk, play with the friends and do some work that they can work their body,such activities will decrease the proportions of obese people.

Secondly,the next main point for obesity is the fast food consumption.These days people are more lazy and they are always busy, so they tend to use the easiest way to get fast food rather than cooking on their own, so this leads their children to consume more fast food such as hamburgers, cheese and soft drinks.Nevertheless, they must consider how the fast food is made, the high percentage of oil, fat and calories are included. On the other hand, it is essential to prevent these food on their own itself, if not they can lead in to a long term disease or a surgery.

Therefore, as an answer to this people must eat a healthy diet including vegetables, grains and a fruit juice is more nutritious than the junk food.Secondly,the most important thing is to get exercise ,it will burn the unnecessary fat and the calories in the body.Nevertheless parents are responsible for their children health they mus acknowledge them to be healthy and not to eat junk food.

In conclusion,it is true that obesity has struck the world but if people get necessary action to prevent this as an an individual, the whole world can be free of this trending topic, 'obesity'.

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Sentence: Therefore, as an answer to this people must eat a healthy diet including vegetables, grains and a fruit juice is more nutritious than the junk food.
Description: A determiner/pronoun, singular is not usually followed by a noun, plural, common
Suggestion: Refer to this and people

Sentence: In conclusion, it is true that obesity has struck the world but if people get necessary action to prevent this as an an individual, the whole world can be free of this trending topic, 'obesity'.
Description: An article is not usually followed by an article
Suggestion: Refer to an and an

Sentence: Nevertheless parents are responsible for their children health they mus acknowledge them to be healthy and not to eat junk food.
Error: mus Suggestion: No alternate word

flaws:
Use of Discourse Markers (%): 0.857 0.12
Sentence-Sentence Coherence: 0.048 0.07

Attribute Value Ideal
Score: 6.0 out of 9
Category: Satisfactory Excellent
No. of Grammatical Errors: 2 2
No. of Spelling Errors: 1 2
No. of Sentences: 14 15
No. of Words: 361 350
No. of Characters: 1641 1500
No. of Different Words: 174 200
Fourth Root of Number of Words: 4.359 4.7
Average Word Length: 4.546 4.6
Word Length SD: 2.445 2.4
No. of Words greater than 5 chars: 98 100
No. of Words greater than 6 chars: 75 80
No. of Words greater than 7 chars: 50 40
No. of Words greater than 8 chars: 34 20
Use of Passive Voice (%): 0 0
Avg. Sentence Length: 25.786 21.0
Sentence Length SD: 11.315 7.5
Use of Discourse Markers (%): 0.857 0.12
Sentence-Text Coherence: 0.332 0.35
Sentence-Para Coherence: 0.594 0.50
Sentence-Sentence Coherence: 0.048 0.07
Number of Paragraphs: 5 5