Some people believe that competitive sports both team and individual have no place in the school curriculum How far do you agree or disagree

In my estimation, this issue which sport, both team and individual, must be deleted from school curriculum is very controversial. Some commentators are of the opinion that sport should be removed from school curriculum. For some reason, I absolutely disagree with this topic.

Firstly, as we all are aware, sport has a critical role in children life. Sport burns excess energy and calorie in body and as a result will prevent from obesity, as you know obesity is a widespread subject in between families and teachers of childern. Another advantage of sport is that, it avoid from a great deal of d...

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Sentence: Firstly, as we all are aware, sport has a critical role in children life.
Description: A noun, plural, common is not usually followed by a noun, singular, common
Suggestion: Refer to children and life-->children's life

Sentence: Another advantage of sport is that, it avoid from a great deal of diseases such as heart attack, hypertension, diabetes, so on and so forth.
Description: The fragment it avoid from is rare
Suggestion: Possible agreement error: Replace avoid with verb, past tense

Sentence: Current Sports in school are running, swimming, long jump and something like that, which great majority of them are noncompetitive.
Description: The fragment majority of them is not usually followed by are
Suggestion: Possible agreement error: Replace majority with majorities

Sentence: In terms of scientific has been approved that sport competetions would leads to increase of thinking and decision making strength in childern.
Description: A modal auxillary is not usually followed by a verb, present tense, 3rd person singular
Suggestion: Refer to would and leads

Sentence: Sport burns excess energy and calorie in body and as a result will prevent from obesity, as you know obesity is a widespread subject in between families and teachers of childern.
Error: childern Suggestion: children

Sentence: Sport will activate both physical and mental aspects in childern.
Error: childern Suggestion: children

Sentence: Secondly, competetive sports such as football, basketball, volleyball, whatsoever, will have beneficial effects in the spirit of childern.
Error: childern Suggestion: children
Error: competetive Suggestion: competitive

Sentence: In terms of scientific has been approved that sport competetions would leads to increase of thinking and decision making strength in childern.
Error: childern Suggestion: children
Error: competetions Suggestion: competitions

Sentence: In competetive sports childern will have to finding friend that in turn give rise to build up their communications.
Error: childern Suggestion: children
Error: competetive Suggestion: competitive

Sentence: Team competetive sports like football which is widespread and also popular in all about the world can be honorific for children in their families and countries.
Error: competetive Suggestion: competitive

Sentence: I, fore one, believe that the instruction of sport in schools is necessary, because will have excellent effects in daily and future life of childern.
Error: childern Suggestion: children

flaws:
No. of Grammatical Errors: 4 2
No. of Spelling Errors: 8 2
Sentence Length SD: 5.867 7.5

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Need to always focus on 'competitive sports'.

Attribute Value Ideal
Score: 6.0 out of 9
Category: Satisfactory Excellent
No. of Grammatical Errors: 4 2
No. of Spelling Errors: 8 2
No. of Sentences: 15 15
No. of Words: 288 350
No. of Characters: 1451 1500
No. of Different Words: 163 200
Fourth Root of Number of Words: 4.12 4.7
Average Word Length: 5.038 4.6
Word Length SD: 2.777 2.4
No. of Words greater than 5 chars: 104 100
No. of Words greater than 6 chars: 84 80
No. of Words greater than 7 chars: 61 40
No. of Words greater than 8 chars: 32 20
Use of Passive Voice (%): 0 0
Avg. Sentence Length: 19.2 21.0
Sentence Length SD: 5.867 7.5
Use of Discourse Markers (%): 0.333 0.12
Sentence-Text Coherence: 0.334 0.35
Sentence-Para Coherence: 0.542 0.50
Sentence-Sentence Coherence: 0.097 0.07
Number of Paragraphs: 4 5