Some people feel the responsibility for providing education should be borne only by the government and that private education should be banned

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Some people feel the responsibility for providing education should be borne only by the government and that private education should be banned.

It is clear that, education has always been one of the most essential assets in people’s life throughout the history. Nowadays, it is provided by both governments and private organizations in most countries. This fact brings up a very debatable question that whether governments should solely be responsible for ensuring education or that responsibility ought to be shared by private sector. As a response to this intriguing question some people think that only governments must be in charge of supplying education and private education should be prohibited. I agree with them and I will try to explain my point of view below.

First of all, if governments were charge of education on their own, there will be equal chances of study for everyone. I mean, in that term, poor people would have the same facilities to study as the rich children from the very beginning of their life. No doubt, if this idea is put into practice, that will be a great chance for them, especially the ones who is ready to work hard in addition to longing for a successful career and bright future. In addition to this, if private education is banned, that can be the initial step in the very necessary humanistic process of demolishing all the borders between the rich and the poor.

On the other hand, I don’t deny that private education has its own advantages. For instance, the existence of organizations supplying education plays a very important role in the development of education creating competition and making the use of a lot of money possible in the field.

To sum it up, because of the above mentioned reasons, in my opinion, without neglecting that there are some certain circumstances requiring private education, our world would be a better place if there were only state schools, universities and etc.

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2014-01-16 Keerakiat 75 view
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Sentence: First of all, if governments were charge of education on their own, there will be equal chances of study for everyone.
Description: A verb 'to be', past tense, 2nd person singular or all is not usually followed by a noun, singular, common
Suggestion: Refer to were and charge

Sentence: No doubt, if this idea is put into practice, that will be a great chance for them, especially the ones who is ready to work hard in addition to longing for a successful career and bright future.
Description: The fragment the ones who is not usually followed by is
Suggestion: Possible agreement error: Replace is with are

flaws:
'On the other hand' means However. It doesn't mean 'On another hand'. You can always support one side. Don't need to change your idea in the middle of the essay.

Attribute Value Ideal
Score: 7.0 out of 9
Category: Good Excellent
No. of Grammatical Errors: 2 2
No. of Spelling Errors: 0 2
No. of Sentences: 12 15
No. of Words: 305 350
No. of Characters: 1459 1500
No. of Different Words: 172 200
Fourth Root of Number of Words: 4.179 4.7
Average Word Length: 4.784 4.6
Word Length SD: 2.806 2.4
No. of Words greater than 5 chars: 98 100
No. of Words greater than 6 chars: 79 80
No. of Words greater than 7 chars: 58 40
No. of Words greater than 8 chars: 43 20
Use of Passive Voice (%): 0 0
Avg. Sentence Length: 25.417 21.0
Sentence Length SD: 8.539 7.5
Use of Discourse Markers (%): 0.583 0.12
Sentence-Text Coherence: 0.361 0.35
Sentence-Para Coherence: 0.584 0.50
Sentence-Sentence Coherence: 0.096 0.07
Number of Paragraphs: 4 5