Some people think that children should stand obey rules and do everything as their parents and teacher say, other believe that children who are controlled too much migh be not well-prepared for their adult life. Discuss

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Some people think that children should stand obey rules and do everything as their parents and teacher say, other believe that children who are controlled too much migh be not well-prepared for their adult life. Discuss

Parents, mostly want the best for their children that sometimes doing too much attention to them. It is founded in many cases that kids who being over controlled have some of different characteristic such their plan of future are mostly different. Oppose the over-controlled one, the common controlled way’s children are more open in society. Considering to choose which is better probably the most doubtful thinking parents ever do. However, it depends on psychological effect that is debatable.

Children which is over influenced b.y parents are mostly dependent. Many choices and passion that they should make are probably get intervene. Further, they even cannot make a single passion in life. Some people say that introvert is the most possible character that coming up. Rather become extrovert and confidently open, these kids are seems to be dependent person. They prefer to not open mind and think just about what the parents taught them. With mind, interaction, and behaviour in their parents hand, they are growing under pressure. Even though, not all can endure this, then make some rebel and bad condition of family affairs. As long as the parents cannot make them trust and create good situation, the rebel might continue. One good benefit that most talked by parents is planned future of their children. With well-planned future, both seem to be happy and the children would focus with the dreams.

Common control by parents to kids is the most possible way to make them happy both with social interaction and parents decision. These kids are given attention and more decision. It does not mean the parents lose its control to make decision, but to make it balance theirs and parent’s choice. With this, everybody should understand and not be over doing something. The kids, however, will become independent person and mostly extrovert with open minded. Futher, kids will be more ready to face the reality of life than the over controlled one.

In conclusion, level of influencing children is subjective and the range is debatable, but mostly towards to not over influence. Even so, parent’s dream is mostly same that is to make their children happy.

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It is founded in many cases that kids who being over controlled have some of different characteristic such their plan of future are mostly different.
Suggestion: Can you re-write this sentence? A lot of errors.

Sentence: With well-planned future, both seem to be happy and the children would focus with the dreams.
Description: The fragment both seem to is rare
Suggestion: Possible agreement error: Replace seem with verb, past tense

will become independent person
will become an independent person

parent’s dream is mostly same
parent’s dream is mostly the same

flaws:
Avg. Sentence Length: 14.875 21.0
Sentence Length SD: 4.024 7.5
No. of Grammatical Errors: 4 2

Attribute Value Ideal
Score: 6.5 out of 9
Category: Excellent Excellent
No. of Grammatical Errors: 4 2
No. of Spelling Errors: 0 2
No. of Sentences: 24 15
No. of Words: 357 350
No. of Characters: 1761 1500
No. of Different Words: 188 200
Fourth Root of Number of Words: 4.347 4.7
Average Word Length: 4.933 4.6
Word Length SD: 2.453 2.4
No. of Words greater than 5 chars: 125 100
No. of Words greater than 6 chars: 85 80
No. of Words greater than 7 chars: 57 40
No. of Words greater than 8 chars: 37 20
Use of Passive Voice (%): 0 0
Avg. Sentence Length: 14.875 21.0
Sentence Length SD: 4.024 7.5
Use of Discourse Markers (%): 0.292 0.12
Sentence-Text Coherence: 0.286 0.35
Sentence-Para Coherence: 0.43 0.50
Sentence-Sentence Coherence: 0.081 0.07
Number of Paragraphs: 4 5