Some people think that school children need to learn practical skills such as car maintenance or bank account management along with the academic subjects at school. To what extent do you agree or disagree?
Nowadays, what subject should be taught at school is a controversial problem. In my opinion, I strongly believe that students should study both practical skills and academic subjects.
Firstly, in some recent years, students have to study so much that the can feel bored, even lacking of motivations to continue learning. As a consequence, studying results also decrease clearly. In these cases, practical classes are a good ideal because students are able to study and relax at the same time with a large amount of interesting information and fundamental skills such as car maintenance, bank account management, fixing bicycles. In addition, interaction is a strong point of learning practical skills. It is clear that, when students take part in these classes, they have many opportunities to communicate and get along with each others.
Equally important, practical skills are extremely essential and good for students’ futures. For example, many students are afraid of facing with chores such as fixing bicycle or oiling car, so they always depend on their family, friends and services. At some certain schools in Viet Nam, about one hundred good students from ten to thirteen years old were chosen to take part in a special survey. They were put in some difficult situations such as breaking their bicycles or other chores. The fact has shown that most students were embarrassed and did not how to solve these problems. Therefore, learning life skills is an important preparation to help student reach a comprehensive development.
In conclusion, although it is possible that schooling time spent for academic subjects will decrease, students can get more not only experiences but also independence and confidence.
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Sentence: Firstly, in some recent years, students have to study so much that the can feel bored, even lacking of motivations to continue learning.
Description: The token the is not usually followed by a modal auxillary
Suggestion: Refer to the and can
Sentence: In these cases, practical classes are a good ideal because students are able to study and relax at the same time with a large amount of interesting information and fundamental skills such as car maintenance, bank account management, fixing bicycles.
Description: The fragment a good ideal is not usually preceded by are
Suggestion: practical class is a good idea
Sentence: It is clear that, when students take part in these classes, they have many opportunities to communicate and get along with each others.
Description: A determiner/pronoun, singular is not usually followed by a noun, plural, common
Suggestion: each other
flaws:
Sentence-Sentence Coherence: 0.037 0.07
Attribute Value Ideal
Score: 6.0 out of 9
Category: Good Excellent
No. of Grammatical Errors: 3 2
No. of Spelling Errors: 0 2
No. of Sentences: 14 15
No. of Words: 273 350
No. of Characters: 1409 1500
No. of Different Words: 172 200
Fourth Root of Number of Words: 4.065 4.7
Average Word Length: 5.161 4.6
Word Length SD: 2.736 2.4
No. of Words greater than 5 chars: 109 100
No. of Words greater than 6 chars: 84 80
No. of Words greater than 7 chars: 62 40
No. of Words greater than 8 chars: 31 20
Use of Passive Voice (%): 0 0
Avg. Sentence Length: 19.5 21.0
Sentence Length SD: 8.407 7.5
Use of Discourse Markers (%): 0.643 0.12
Sentence-Text Coherence: 0.325 0.35
Sentence-Para Coherence: 0.526 0.50
Sentence-Sentence Coherence: 0.037 0.07
Number of Paragraphs: 4 5