You live in a room in college which you share with another student. However, there are many problems with this arrangement and you find it very difficult to work.
Write a letter to the accommodation officer at the college. In the letter,
• describe the situation
• explain your problems and why it is difficult to work
• say what kind of accommodation you would prefer
Dear Sir/Madams,
I am writing to express my dissatisfaction with my roommate in the Rezvan accommodation.
I am a student at IMT University and I am living in room number 2, second floor the Rezvan accommodation. The room is shared between me and some other student. Unfortunately, she is not a good roommate and I have some problem with her. I am a very clean girl. These days I need pace and quit environment to study. However with my roommate condition I cannot study. She is too messy, make a lot of noise. And also, most of the time she brings her friend to our room and wake up until the midnight. During the time they are laughing, dancing.
You can imagine how unhappy I was when I discover she uses my private stuffs. I cannot stay in this room with my roommate any more. I cannot study, I do not have any privacy. I hope you can settle down this matter by changing my room. I understand how is difficult to find a new room at middle of semester. I need a private room, size of room it does not matter, I just need a bed and a table.
I look forward to hearing from you.
Yours faithfully,
Mari.
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flaws:
Sentences need to be polished. Look at those sentences, all of them start by subject "I":
You can imagine how unhappy I was when I discover she uses my private stuffs. I cannot stay in this room with my roommate any more. I cannot study, I do not have any privacy. I hope you can settle down this matter by changing my room. I understand how is difficult to find a new room at middle of semester. I need a private room, size of room it does not matter, I just need a bed and a table.
Attribute Value Ideal
Score: 6.0 out of 9
Category: Good Excellent
No. of Grammatical Errors: 0 2
No. of Spelling Errors: 0 2
No. of Sentences: 16 10
No. of Words: 198 200
No. of Characters: 802 1000
No. of Different Words: 111 100
Fourth Root of Number of Words: 3.751 4.0
Average Word Length: 4.051 4.6
Word Length SD: 2.528 2.4
No. of Words greater than 5 chars: 48 60
No. of Words greater than 6 chars: 31 50
No. of Words greater than 7 chars: 18 40
No. of Words greater than 8 chars: 9 20
Use of Passive Voice (%): 0 0
Avg. Sentence Length: 12.375 21.0
Sentence Length SD: 4.328 7.5
Use of Discourse Markers (%): 0.188 0.12
Sentence-Text Coherence: 0.398 0.35
Sentence-Para Coherence: 0.501 0.50
Sentence-Sentence Coherence: 0.201 0.07
Number of Paragraphs: 3 4