The first chart below shows how energy is used in an average Australian household. The second chart shows the greenhouse gas emissions which result from this energy use.Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make compa

Essay topics:

The first chart below shows how energy is used in an average Australian household. The second chart shows the greenhouse gas emissions which result from this energy use.

Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.

The given pie charts not only illustrate energy usage in an average Australian household, but also depict how much greenhouse gas is emitted which result from this energy use.

Firstly, chart 1 displays that 42% and 30% of energy are used for heating and warm heating, respectively. It seems that approximately 75 percent of the energy is consumed to achieve heating requirements. Despite the aforementioned purposes, other appliances have significant values in energy usage by 15 percent.

On the other hand, the statistics of greenhouse gas emissions has unbelievably data. 32 percent of the energy which is used to heat water would lead to emit the gas. Incredibly, about 28 percent of the green house is produced by other appliances. Whereas heating uses 42 percent of energy, it emits only 15 percent of the gas.

To sum up with all, there is not a specific relation between average energy usage and greenhouse gas emissions in Australian household. For instance, refrigeration and light need 7% and 4% of the sources of energy, however the greenhouse gas which are made are twice of their energy usages.

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Comments

chart 1 displays that 42% and 30% of energy are used
Description: check books how to use 'display'

has unbelievably data.
has unbelievable data.

To sum up with all,
To sum up,

flaws:
Don't ignore something, like: cooling

Need better organizations. read the requirement again:
Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.

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Category: Satisfactory Excellent
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Fourth Root of Number of Words: 3.683 4.0
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Use of Passive Voice (%): 0 0
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Sentence Length SD: 5.426 7.5
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Sentence-Sentence Coherence: 0.118 0.07
Number of Paragraphs: 4 4