given by the picture

Essay topics:

given by the picture

The first chart illustrates the causes of studying at a university that lure adults. On the other hand, the pie chart we are given presents the most suitable way of dividing the cost spending during a course among taxpayer, individual and employer expenditures, according to people.

Initially, the survey indicates that being interested in the subject from that adults will take a course is the most popular reason, at 40 %, which doubles the improving prospects of promotion and enjoying to learn and study. By contrast, the percentage of gaining qualifications which is the second most popular is nearly as high as the first, at 38 %. Furthermore, the rate of thinking about changing their jobs after being graduate is 10 point less than aiming help for current jobs being 12 % and 22 % respectively. Finally, the least popular reason is socialization, at 9 %.

According to another chart, most people voted that individual expenses should prevail, at 40 %, which is a slight higher than expenditures of employer (35 %). In the contrast of this, the cost of the taxes only cover a quarter of the whole segment of the pie chart.

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Comments

being interested in the subject from that adults will take a course is the most popular reason,
Description: can you re-write this sentence?

flaws:
what doesn't it mean: according to people?

Attribute Value Ideal
Score: 6.5 out of 9
Category: Good Excellent
No. of Grammatical Errors: 1 2
No. of Spelling Errors: 0 2
No. of Sentences: 8 10
No. of Words: 187 200
No. of Characters: 903 1000
No. of Different Words: 112 100
Fourth Root of Number of Words: 3.698 4.0
Average Word Length: 4.829 4.6
Word Length SD: 2.711 2.4
No. of Words greater than 5 chars: 63 60
No. of Words greater than 6 chars: 46 50
No. of Words greater than 7 chars: 34 40
No. of Words greater than 8 chars: 19 20
Use of Passive Voice (%): 0 0
Avg. Sentence Length: 23.375 21.0
Sentence Length SD: 8.455 7.5
Use of Discourse Markers (%): 0.625 0.12
Sentence-Text Coherence: 0.402 0.35
Sentence-Para Coherence: 0.614 0.50
Sentence-Sentence Coherence: 0.066 0.07
Number of Paragraphs: 3 4