The graph below shows the consumption of fish and some different kinds of meat in a European country between 1979 and 2004.
The graph indicates the consumption of European people over fish, lamb, beef and chicken per week indicated by gram between1979 and 2004. Chicken showed a significant inclining of European consumption per week from approximately 150 gram in 1979 to almost 200 gram in 1989 and keep increasing to 250 gram per week in 2004. Both beef and lamb illustrated a declining from 1979 to 2004 with different courses for each of it. Beef consumption was fluctuated from approximately 220 gram in 1979, increasing in 1984 to almost 250 gram however, the consumption has decreased over the time to approximately 100 gram per week in 2004. For the lamb consumption, it reached 150 gram in 1979 and went down to 60 gram per week in 2004.
For fish, it illustrated slowly decreasing over the time between 1979 and 2004. To conclude, European people have increased their consumption of chicken from 1979 to 2004. However, they have decreased their consumption for beef, lamb and fish in which both beef and lamb showed a significant declining while the consumption of fish has shown slowly declining over the time.
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flaws:
1. No. of Different Words: 76 100
2. Number of Paragraphs: 2 4
better to have 3-4 paragraphs:
para 1: introduction
para 2: body 1
para 3: body 2
para 4: conclusion
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http://www.testbig.com/ielts-essays/you-should-spend-about-20-minutes-t…
or
para 1: introduction
para 2: conclusion
para 3: body 1
para 4: body 2
sample:
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Attribute Value Ideal
Score: 5.5 out of 9
Category: Satisfactory Excellent
No. of Grammatical Errors: 0 2
No. of Spelling Errors: 0 2
No. of Sentences: 8 10
No. of Words: 185 200
No. of Characters: 896 1000
No. of Different Words: 76 100
Fourth Root of Number of Words: 3.688 4.0
Average Word Length: 4.843 4.6
Word Length SD: 2.835 2.4
No. of Words greater than 5 chars: 50 60
No. of Words greater than 6 chars: 42 50
No. of Words greater than 7 chars: 34 40
No. of Words greater than 8 chars: 30 20
Use of Passive Voice (%): 0 0
Avg. Sentence Length: 23.125 21.0
Sentence Length SD: 7.881 7.5
Use of Discourse Markers (%): 0.25 0.12
Sentence-Text Coherence: 0.561 0.35
Sentence-Para Coherence: 0.652 0.50
Sentence-Sentence Coherence: 0.202 0.07
Number of Paragraphs: 2 4