The graphs below show the types of music albums purchased by people in Britain according to sex and age.

Essay topics:

The graphs below show the types of music albums purchased by people in Britain according to sex and age.

The bar graph elucidates the percentage of the preferences in rock music by different age groups (16 to 24, 25 to 34, 35 to 44 and 45 and over) and by gender.

At the glance of this graph, the person with age of 45 showed the least favours in the Rock music. Most of male choose to listen to the rock music compared to female. Notably, rock music was mostly listened by teenagers and twenties.

As evidenced from the graph, rock music is the most preferred music by most of age groups except for the person over 45. Almost over 30% of twenties like to listen to rock music compared to 30% of teenagers. This preference in Rock Music decreased in the next generation (age of 35 to 44) to around 25%. The elders with age over 45, only 10% of them choose to listen to the Rock Music.

Amongst those age groups, male showed an outstandingly favour in Rock Music compared to female. While approximately 30% of male favours in Rock music, only just below 20% of female have bought Rock Music Album.

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Sentence: Most of male choose to listen to the rock music compared to female.
Description: The fragment male choose to is rare
Suggestion: Possible agreement error: Replace choose with verb, past tense

Sentence: Amongst those age groups, male showed an outstandingly favour in Rock Music compared to female.
Description: A qualifier, pre is not usually followed by a noun, singular, common
Suggestion: Refer to outstandingly and favour

flaws:
No. of Different Words: 82 100

Attribute Value Ideal
Score: 5.5 out of 9
Category: Satisfactory Excellent
No. of Grammatical Errors: 2 2
No. of Spelling Errors: 0 2
No. of Sentences: 10 10
No. of Words: 184 200
No. of Characters: 778 1000
No. of Different Words: 82 100
Fourth Root of Number of Words: 3.683 4.0
Average Word Length: 4.228 4.6
Word Length SD: 2.329 2.4
No. of Words greater than 5 chars: 47 60
No. of Words greater than 6 chars: 23 50
No. of Words greater than 7 chars: 19 40
No. of Words greater than 8 chars: 13 20
Use of Passive Voice (%): 0 0
Avg. Sentence Length: 18.4 21.0
Sentence Length SD: 5.748 7.5
Use of Discourse Markers (%): 0.2 0.12
Sentence-Text Coherence: 0.524 0.35
Sentence-Para Coherence: 0.698 0.50
Sentence-Sentence Coherence: 0.18 0.07
Number of Paragraphs: 4 4