The pie chart below shows the main reasons why agricultural land becomes less productive. The table shows how these causes affected three regions of the world during the 1990s. Summarize the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.( ietls book 8 test 1)
First, the pie chart demonstrates the four major factors of land deterioration on the glob. Second, the table figures reveal the total percentage of three continents where land atrophy in the year 1999.
In general, the impact of land degradation was vastly caused by animal grazing. Whereas, forest cutting stands on seconds the second position during 1999 worldwide. Primarily, the pie chart depicts merely 28% of land was a downturn due to over-cultivation. However, the ratio of tree clearance significantly increased by 30%. And, others derive only for 7% collectively.
Secondly, the table statistics reckon an erratic trend of land entropy in 4 sectors intercontinental in 1999. Initially, in comparison Europe had 9.8% of dilapidation due to deforestation, while the effect of this on Oceania and North America was minimal with only 1.7% and 0.2% respectively. Nevertheless, Europe, aggregated percentage was highest with 23%, but also endures 7.7% for over-cultivation and 5.5% over-grazing respectively. Conversely, Oceania total field degradation was larger then North America, 13% and 5%. Consequently, the prime outcome was animal- grazing with11.3 % in oceanic whereas, American proportion was least by 1.5% comprehensively.
In short, the data delineates that livestock and deforestation were the prominent causes of land breakdown. Hence, Europe considerably impaired from farmland decline than other territories over the period.
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Comments
1. Whereas, forest cutting
1. Whereas, forest cutting stands in second position.....
2. Nevertheless, Europe, aggregated percentage was highest with 23%, but, it endures 7.7 % for over-cultivation and 5.5%
over- grazing respectively...
3. Europe considerably impaired fro farmland and....
Please score my
Please score my re-writing
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the impact of land degradation vastly caused by animal grazing.
the impact of land degradation is vastly caused by animal grazing.
Sentence: Whereas, forest cutting seconds on the second position during 1999 worldwide.
Description: second as a verb?
other derive only for 7% collectively.
others derive only for 7% collectively.
Sentence: Nevertheless, Europe overall percentage was highest with 23, but also endures 7.7 for over-cultivation and 5.5 over-grazing respectively.
Description: A noun, singular, proper is not usually followed by an adjective
Suggestion: Refer to Europe and overall
Europe impaired more from farmland decline than other territories over the period.
Europe is impaired more from farmland decline than other territories over the period.
flaws:
No. of Grammatical Errors: 5 2
Sentence-Sentence Coherence: 0.013 0.07
No. of Words: 213 200
Did you write the essay in 20 minutes? you don't need to go details. read the topic requirements 'Summarize the information by selecting and reporting the main features'
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Score: 6.5 out of 9
Category: Good Excellent
No. of Grammatical Errors: 5 2
No. of Spelling Errors: 0 2
No. of Sentences: 14 10
No. of Words: 213 200
No. of Characters: 1159 1000
No. of Different Words: 143 100
Fourth Root of Number of Words: 3.82 4.0
Average Word Length: 5.441 4.6
Word Length SD: 3.229 2.4
No. of Words greater than 5 chars: 88 60
No. of Words greater than 6 chars: 67 50
No. of Words greater than 7 chars: 41 40
No. of Words greater than 8 chars: 35 20
Use of Passive Voice (%): 0 0
Avg. Sentence Length: 15.214 21.0
Sentence Length SD: 5.045 7.5
Use of Discourse Markers (%): 0.857 0.12
Sentence-Text Coherence: 0.316 0.35
Sentence-Para Coherence: 0.53 0.50
Sentence-Sentence Coherence: 0.013 0.07
Number of Paragraphs: 4 4