The bar chart shows the percentages of the UK workforce in five major industries in 1841 and 2011

The bar chart below illustrates the percentage of the Canadian workforce in 5 major industries in 1850 and 2020.
It is clear that the percentage of workers move to services industry from another business in 2020. While all other industries fell sharply in 2020.
The most highest workforce certainly was services industry at 81% in 2020. This is different with the proportion of employees at around 33% in this sector in 1850. Followed that, the construction business also increased slightly from 5% in 1850 to 8% in the mid-twenty century.
In contrast, the manufacturers industries on the chart all dropped significantly over 170 years past. The manufacturing industry started with 36% laborers in 1850. But affected by employees moving to the service industry so the manufacturing declined seriously about 9% in 2020. There were 22% employees in 1850, very lower than that in 2020 when the amount of agriculture and fishing industries decreased seriously by roughly 1%. Similar, workers in energy and water companies by two third during the period 170 years.

Votes
Average: 7.8 (1 vote)
Essay Categories
IELTS Writing Task I - IELTS Academic

Grammar and spelling errors:
Line 2, column 52, Rule ID: TO_NON_BASE[1]
Message: The verb after "to" should be in the base form: 'service'.
Suggestion: service
... that the percentage of workers move to services industry from another business in 2020....
^^^^^^^^
Line 2, column 100, Rule ID: SENTENCE_FRAGMENT[1]
Message: “While” at the beginning of a sentence requires a 2nd clause. Maybe a comma, question or exclamation mark is missing, or the sentence is incomplete and should be joined with the following sentence.
...industry from another business in 2020. While all other industries fell sharply in 20...
^^^^^
Line 3, column 5, Rule ID: MOST_SUPERLATIVE[1]
Message: Use only 'highest' (without 'most') when you use the superlative.
Suggestion: highest
...r industries fell sharply in 2020. The most highest workforce certainly was services indust...
^^^^^^^^^^^^
Line 3, column 5, Rule ID: THE_SUPERLATIVE[2]
Message: A determiner is probably missing here: 'most the highest'.
Suggestion: most the highest
...r industries fell sharply in 2020. The most highest workforce certainly was services indust...
^^^^^^^^^^^^
Line 4, column 42, Rule ID: WHITESPACE_RULE
Message: Possible typo: you repeated a whitespace
Suggestion:
...n contrast, the manufacturers industries on the chart all dropped significantly o...
^^

Transition Words or Phrases used:
also, but, if, so, third, while, in contrast

Attributes: Values AverageValues Percentages(Values/AverageValues)% => Comments

Performance on Part of Speech:
To be verbs : 4.0 7.0 57% => More to be verbs wanted.
Auxiliary verbs: 0.0 1.00243902439 0% => OK
Conjunction : 4.0 6.8 59% => More conjunction wanted.
Relative clauses : 4.0 3.15609756098 127% => OK
Pronoun: 6.0 5.60731707317 107% => OK
Preposition: 38.0 33.7804878049 112% => OK
Nominalization: 2.0 3.97073170732 50% => More nominalizations (nouns with a suffix like: tion ment ence ance) wanted.

Performance on vocabulary words:
No of characters: 894.0 965.302439024 93% => OK
No of words: 172.0 196.424390244 88% => More content wanted.
Chars per words: 5.1976744186 4.92477711251 106% => OK
Fourth root words length: 3.62144681703 3.73543355544 97% => OK
Word Length SD: 2.90092393107 2.65546596893 109% => OK
Unique words: 105.0 106.607317073 98% => OK
Unique words percentage: 0.610465116279 0.547539520022 111% => OK
syllable_count: 251.1 283.868780488 88% => OK
avg_syllables_per_word: 1.5 1.45097560976 103% => OK

A sentence (or a clause, phrase) starts by:
Pronoun: 2.0 1.53170731707 131% => OK
Article: 5.0 4.33902439024 115% => OK
Subordination: 1.0 1.07073170732 93% => OK
Conjunction: 1.0 0.482926829268 207% => Less conjunction wanted as sentence beginning.
Preposition: 1.0 3.36585365854 30% => More preposition wanted as sentence beginning.

Performance on sentences:
How many sentences: 11.0 8.94146341463 123% => OK
Sentence length: 15.0 22.4926829268 67% => The Avg. Sentence Length is relatively short.
Sentence length SD: 27.0970096853 43.030603864 63% => OK
Chars per sentence: 81.2727272727 112.824112599 72% => OK
Words per sentence: 15.6363636364 22.9334400587 68% => OK
Discourse Markers: 4.0 5.23603664747 76% => OK
Paragraphs: 4.0 3.83414634146 104% => OK
Language errors: 5.0 1.69756097561 295% => Less language errors wanted.
Sentences with positive sentiment : 4.0 3.70975609756 108% => OK
Sentences with negative sentiment : 2.0 1.13902439024 176% => OK
Sentences with neutral sentiment: 5.0 4.09268292683 122% => OK
What are sentences with positive/Negative/neutral sentiment?

Coherence and Cohesion:
Essay topic to essay body coherence: 0.189012077026 0.215688989381 88% => OK
Sentence topic coherence: 0.0820468754677 0.103423049105 79% => OK
Sentence topic coherence SD: 0.101403664208 0.0843802449381 120% => OK
Paragraph topic coherence: 0.158326482971 0.15604864568 101% => OK
Paragraph topic coherence SD: 0.128586316338 0.0819641961636 157% => OK

Essay readability:
automated_readability_index: 10.9 13.2329268293 82% => Automated_readability_index is low.
flesch_reading_ease: 64.71 61.2550243902 106% => OK
smog_index: 3.1 6.51609756098 48% => Smog_index is low.
flesch_kincaid_grade: 8.0 10.3012195122 78% => OK
coleman_liau_index: 12.58 11.4140731707 110% => OK
dale_chall_readability_score: 7.96 8.06136585366 99% => OK
difficult_words: 39.0 40.7170731707 96% => OK
linsear_write_formula: 6.5 11.4329268293 57% => Linsear_write_formula is low.
gunning_fog: 8.0 10.9970731707 73% => OK
text_standard: 8.0 11.0658536585 72% => OK
What are above readability scores?

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Rates: 78.6516853933 out of 100
Scores by essay e-grader: 7.0 Out of 9
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Note: the e-grader does NOT examine the meaning of words and ideas. VIP users will receive further evaluations by advanced module of e-grader and human graders.