A large company in your area decided to spend a certain amount of money, either to sponsor a local children’s sports team for two years, or to pay for two open-air concerts. It has asked for feedback from the general public.Write a letter to company:Des

Essay topics:

A large company in your area decided to spend a certain amount of money, either to sponsor a local children’s sports team for two years, or to pay for two open-air concerts. It has asked for feedback from the general public.
Write a letter to company:
Describe the benefits of sponsoring the sports team.
Summarise the benefits of paying for the concerts.
Say how you think the company should spend.

Dear Sir or Madam,

I am a citizen of Mumbai and recently got the news of capital investment of your company in our area. I am extremely overwhelmed by the decision as improvement of the local talent and required opportunities can be given to locals. I am writing this letter to provide you suggestions about the activities you selected for investment so that appropriate distribution of money will be made.

Firstly, Investing in the local children’s sports team would definitely encourage children to play without any hesitation of financial requirement. Apart from that, buying necessary equipments and hiring coach for professional training can be done. This would result in availability of national or international opportunities for team players.

On the other hand, provision of paying the money in the open air music concert would motivate the local interested and enthusiastic musicians to strengthen their skills to compete in the competitions held in the concert. Tourism and economy of the place will also have tremendous impact as people will flown and visit from around the globe. Eventually local employment will also be flourished.

According to the discussion we had after the announcement, we have come to the suggestion that company should invest partial amount in a local children’s sports team and remaining finance should be given to a concert. Achievement of both the crucial improvement factors of the society can be done as these are actually interdependent.

I am looking forward to hearing from you.

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Average: 8.4 (1 vote)
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Essays by user essayevaluation :

Comments

Grammar and spelling errors:
Line 3, column 233, Rule ID: ENGLISH_WORD_REPEAT_BEGINNING_RULE
Message: Three successive sentences begin with the same word. Reword the sentence or use a thesaurus to find a synonym.
...d opportunities can be given to locals. I am writing this letter to provide you s...
^
Line 7, column 304, Rule ID: PRP_PAST_PART[3]
Message: Did you mean 'fly' or 'be flown'?
Suggestion: fly; be flown
...o have tremendous impact as people will flown and visit from around the globe. Eventu...
^^^^^

Transition Words or Phrases used:
actually, also, but, first, firstly, look, so, then, thus, apart from, on the other hand

Attributes: Values AverageValues Percentages(Values/AverageValues)% => Comments

Performance on Part of Speech:
To be verbs : 7.0 7.48453608247 94% => OK
Auxiliary verbs: 12.0 4.92783505155 244% => Less auxiliary verb wanted.
Conjunction : 9.0 5.05154639175 178% => OK
Relative clauses : 3.0 3.03092783505 99% => OK
Pronoun: 18.0 32.9175257732 55% => OK
Preposition: 36.0 26.3917525773 136% => OK
Nominalization: 12.0 3.85567010309 311% => Less nominalizations (nouns with a suffix like: tion ment ence ance) wanted.

Performance on vocabulary words:
No of characters: 1313.0 937.175257732 140% => OK
No of words: 244.0 206.0 118% => OK
Chars per words: 5.38114754098 4.54256449028 118% => OK
Fourth root words length: 3.95227774224 3.78020617076 105% => OK
Word Length SD: 3.19518668503 2.54303337028 126% => OK
Unique words: 148.0 127.690721649 116% => OK
Unique words percentage: 0.606557377049 0.622605031667 97% => OK
syllable_count: 405.9 290.88556701 140% => OK
avg_syllables_per_word: 1.7 1.41237113402 120% => OK

A sentence (or a clause, phrase) starts by:
Pronoun: 6.0 9.13402061856 66% => OK
Article: 0.0 0.824742268041 0% => OK
Subordination: 0.0 1.83505154639 0% => More adverbial clause wanted.
Conjunction: 0.0 0.463917525773 0% => OK
Preposition: 3.0 1.44329896907 208% => Less preposition wanted as sentence beginnings.

Performance on sentences:
How many sentences: 12.0 12.6804123711 95% => OK
Sentence length: 20.0 16.3608247423 122% => The Avg. Sentence Length is relatively long.
Sentence length SD: 53.3650947093 44.8134815571 119% => OK
Chars per sentence: 109.416666667 76.5299724578 143% => OK
Words per sentence: 20.3333333333 16.8248392259 121% => OK
Discourse Markers: 7.33333333333 4.34317383033 169% => OK
Paragraphs: 5.0 4.29896907216 116% => OK
Language errors: 2.0 2.54639175258 79% => OK
Sentences with positive sentiment : 6.0 7.41237113402 81% => OK
Sentences with negative sentiment : 0.0 1.49484536082 0% => More negative sentences wanted.
Sentences with neutral sentiment: 6.0 3.94845360825 152% => OK
What are sentences with positive/Negative/neutral sentiment?

Coherence and Cohesion:
Essay topic to essay body coherence: 0.203113823575 0.216113520407 94% => OK
Sentence topic coherence: 0.0656865374816 0.0766984524023 86% => OK
Sentence topic coherence SD: 0.0408242578678 0.0603063233224 68% => OK
Paragraph topic coherence: 0.0991894864594 0.12726935374 78% => OK
Paragraph topic coherence SD: 0.0504796695836 0.0580467560999 87% => OK

Essay readability:
automated_readability_index: 14.1 8.37731958763 168% => OK
flesch_reading_ease: 42.72 70.7449484536 60% => OK
smog_index: 11.2 3.82989690722 292% => Smog_index is high.
flesch_kincaid_grade: 12.3 7.45979381443 165% => OK
coleman_liau_index: 13.92 8.71597938144 160% => OK
dale_chall_readability_score: 9.09 7.59969072165 120% => OK
difficult_words: 69.0 41.2886597938 167% => OK
linsear_write_formula: 12.5 8.62886597938 145% => OK
gunning_fog: 10.0 8.54432989691 117% => OK
text_standard: 14.0 8.15463917526 172% => OK
What are above readability scores?

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Rates: 84.2696629213 out of 100
Scores by essay e-grader: 7.5 Out of 9
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Note: the e-grader does NOT examine the meaning of words and ideas. VIP users will receive further evaluations by advanced module of e-grader and human graders.