Being a celebrity – such as a famous film star or sports personality – brings problems as well as benefits.Do you think that being a celebrity brings more benefits or more problems?

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Being a celebrity – such as a famous film star or sports personality – brings problems as well as benefits.
Do you think that being a celebrity brings more benefits or more problems?

Everything in our life has two sides, a celebrities’ life is not an exception for this role. Although there are valid arguments to the contrary, it is believed that the drawbacks of a celebrities’ life far outweigh its merits .This essay will focus on the disadvantages of a celebrities’ life, particularly, the lack of privacy and the negative influence on celebrities’ minds.

Firstly, one of the most important factors required for comfort life is privacy .It is not achievable for any celebrity to live in a normal way because of the lack of privacy .Press and fans are chasing them everywhere. Furthermore, some fans are crazy. For instance, I read in the newspaper that one of Brad Pitt’s fans attempted to enter his house through the window in order to express her love for him. That sort of problem forces most celebrities to deploy bodyguards who add more restrains to a celebrities’ movement and freedom.

Secondly, the unbelievable wages and fame of celebrities is highly likely to affect their minds negatively .For instance; Britney spears earned millions while she was 20 years old. Thus, this excessive money encouraged her to try all prohibited practices and the matter ended up with addiction to drugs .Another clear example is the king of pop, Michael Jackson, who became a freak person trying to change his natural skin color, additionally, he failed to establish long-term relationships with women.

In conclusion, I reaffirm that although a celebrities’ life is luxurious but it is lacking of privacy. Moreover, it is most probably dragging the celebrities away from a human beings’ natural behavior.

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Everything in our life has two sides, a celebrities’ life is not an exception for this role.
Everything in our life has two sides, and a celebrities’ life is not an exception for this role. //need conjunctions

although a celebrities’ life is luxurious but it is lacking of privacy.
Description: don't put 'although' 'but' in one sentence.

flaws:
No. of Words: 266 350

Don't put a space before punctuation marks.
Always put a space after punctuation marks. Essay e-rater is sensitive.
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Attribute Value Ideal
Score: 6.5 out of 9
Category: Good Excellent
No. of Grammatical Errors: 2 2
No. of Spelling Errors: 0 2
No. of Sentences: 10 15
No. of Words: 266 350
No. of Characters: 1315 1500
No. of Different Words: 169 200
Fourth Root of Number of Words: 4.039 4.7
Average Word Length: 4.944 4.6
Word Length SD: 2.846 2.4
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No. of Words greater than 6 chars: 76 80
No. of Words greater than 7 chars: 55 40
No. of Words greater than 8 chars: 38 20
Use of Passive Voice (%): 0 0
Avg. Sentence Length: 26.6 21.0
Sentence Length SD: 13.872 7.5
Use of Discourse Markers (%): 0.8 0.12
Sentence-Text Coherence: 0.384 0.35
Sentence-Para Coherence: 0.644 0.50
Sentence-Sentence Coherence: 0.168 0.07
Number of Paragraphs: 4 5