Do you agree or disagree with the following sentence:
'People today spend too much time on personal enjoyment - doing things they like to do - rather than doing things they should do.'
It is certainly that whether nowadays people spend a lot of time on doing their enjoyment or not. Some people assert that since many devices and applications have been invented in order to help human work, people have more to do their leisure. However, others argue that it is an incorrect concept because people become busier than in the past and lack some time to do their personal relaxation. Personally, I agree with the latter statement for a couple reasons.
To begin with, no one can argue that people have so many responsibilities that they cannot avoid form their busy lives. With many responsibilities, people have to do these tasks even though they do one prefer. Firstly, the duty of work forces people to do many unwilling tasks in long hours without any excuse. In order to have financial stable and be able to support family, people have no choice about their work. They have to keep working and do many additional tasks which can boost their economy. Secondly, the responsibility of family, if a person has kids, he/ she to dedicate their time to take care of their children. For example, many parents have been doing many times in their lives in order to support all necessities for their beloved kids. Sometimes, parents have to wake up in the middle of night because of changing kids’ diapers or dealing with sickness problems. Parents have sacrificed their lives without doing some personal enjoyment.
Moreover, there are also other features which restrict people preferences. Religions and cultures are another cause of limited people willingness. For example, in some religions, people cannot eat some kinds of food or have to be a vegetarian which are very restricted peoples’ food preferences. For example, if a Muslim prefers to taste pork or really wants to have, he/she has to control themselves to not consume this food. With the religious regulations and strict traditions, it is another prohibition of people desire. However, without culture laws and religious matters, people will have more chances to do or eat something that they like.
In conclusion, people these days are become very busy and have many matters which are restricted themselves from doing their favorites. The causes of this issue contribute to abundant responsibilities and culture regulations which are still limited people to have their times on doing leisure or the freedom to having their favorite food.
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It is certainly that whether nowadays people spend a lot of time on doing their enjoyment or not.
Description: can you re-write this sentence?
or have to be a vegetarian which are very restricted peoples’ food preferences.
or have to be a vegetarian by which peoples’ food preferences are very restricted .
control themselves to not consume this food
control themselves not to consume this food
Sentence: Secondly, the responsibility of family, if a person has kids, he/ she to dedicate their time to take care of their children.
Description: The tag a pronoun, personal, nominative, 3rd person singular is not usually followed by to
Suggestion: Refer to she and to
Sentence: Moreover, there are also other features which restrict people preferences.
Description: A noun, plural, common is not usually followed by a noun, plural, common
Suggestion: Refer to people and preferences
Sentence: Religions and cultures are another cause of limited people willingness.
Description: The fragment another cause of is not usually preceded by are
Suggestion: Possible agreement error: Replace are with is
Description: A noun, plural, common is not usually followed by a noun, singular, common
Suggestion: Refer to people and willingness
Sentence: With the religious regulations and strict traditions, it is another prohibition of people desire.
Description: A noun, plural, common is not usually followed by a noun, singular, common
Suggestion: Refer to people and desire
people these days are become very busy
people these days are becoming very busy
flaws:
No. of Grammatical Errors: 8 2
The third paragraph is a little bit out of topic.
Attribute Value Ideal
Score: 5.0 out of 9
Category: Satisfactory Excellent
No. of Grammatical Errors: 8 2
No. of Spelling Errors: 0 2
No. of Sentences: 21 15
No. of Words: 400 350
No. of Characters: 1962 1500
No. of Different Words: 196 200
Fourth Root of Number of Words: 4.472 4.7
Average Word Length: 4.905 4.6
Word Length SD: 2.561 2.4
No. of Words greater than 5 chars: 135 100
No. of Words greater than 6 chars: 95 80
No. of Words greater than 7 chars: 54 40
No. of Words greater than 8 chars: 38 20
Use of Passive Voice (%): 0 0
Avg. Sentence Length: 19.048 21.0
Sentence Length SD: 5.867 7.5
Use of Discourse Markers (%): 0.524 0.12
Sentence-Text Coherence: 0.344 0.35
Sentence-Para Coherence: 0.497 0.50
Sentence-Sentence Coherence: 0.115 0.07
Number of Paragraphs: 4 5