Few people devote time to hobbies nowadays. Say why you think this is the case and what effect this has on the individual and society in general.
In today’s modern world, technological advancements have provided people with so many options for leisure that they have totally forgotten the concept of hobbies. Some argue that it does not make much difference if hobbies are substituted by mobiles and computer games. However, in my opinion hobbies are an important part of a person’s day-to-day life.
After the invention of computer, there was a major shift of interest from hobbies to computers among people. They used to spend large part of their spare time on computers rather than their hobbies. Introduction of smart phones have made things even worse. For instance, a recent research conducted by a research agency indicated that a large number of teenagers are spending almost five to six hours of their time in playing mobile games of surfing through various attractive mobile applications. This has resulted in a plethora of fitness related problems including obesity.
Moreover, it has been found that even young people in late twenties or early thirties are spending significant amount of their time on mobiles. This leads to mental fatigue due to which their efficiency at work places has significantly plummeted. Pursuing a hobby always helps in alleviating work related tensions and at the same time it helps people get physically fit and active.
In recent times there have been several cases of spinal injuries being reported by young people. As per some medical experts, these medical conditions were generally reported by older people. As most of the hobbies are being replaced by their technological counterparts, medical problems related to physical fitness are on a gradual rise.
To add to the above mentioned points, lack of pursuing of hobbies may also lead to reduction in innovations. In the past two decades, there had been innovations in various streams which were touching different parts of a person’s life. However, in recent times it has been observed that advanced ideas are targeting only some specific areas like computing and mobile technologies.
Lack of time devotion to hobbies is also affecting society as a whole. Indeed, most of the parents with their children in their late twenties are seen to be extremely dismayed by the fact that they spend most of their free time with their pets rather than their children as their children are not much bothered about anything other than their mobiles and computers.
To conclude, I would say that although technology and its advancements are necessary for the well being of society and human beings, hobbies are much more important part of our lives. Hobbies make sure that we lead a healthy and active lifestyle and also assures that we do not get into monotonous or tedious ways of living.
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flaws:
Number of Paragraphs: 7 5
Sentence-Text Coherence: 0.276 0.35 //it means you don' focus on the topic. Your mind goes here or there
better to have 4-5 paragraphs:
para 1: introduction
para 2: reason 1
para 3: reason 2
para 4: reason 3 (optional)
para 5: conclusion
or:
para 1: introduction
para 2: idea one.
para 3: however, idea two
para 4: in my opinion...
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Attribute Value Ideal
Score: 6.0 out of 9
Category: Good Excellent
No. of Grammatical Errors: 4 2
No. of Spelling Errors: 5 2
No. of Sentences: 21 15
No. of Words: 448 350
No. of Characters: 2242 1500
No. of Different Words: 241 200
Fourth Root of Number of Words: 4.601 4.7
Average Word Length: 5.004 4.6
Word Length SD: 2.575 2.4
No. of Words greater than 5 chars: 162 100
No. of Words greater than 6 chars: 131 80
No. of Words greater than 7 chars: 84 40
No. of Words greater than 8 chars: 44 20
Use of Passive Voice (%): 0 0
Avg. Sentence Length: 21.333 21.0
Sentence Length SD: 9.316 7.5
Use of Discourse Markers (%): 0.476 0.12
Sentence-Text Coherence: 0.276 0.35
Sentence-Para Coherence: 0.581 0.50
Sentence-Sentence Coherence: 0.054 0.07
Number of Paragraphs: 7 5