In many countries children are engaged in some kind of paid work. Some people regard this as completely wrong, while others consider it a valuable work experience, which is important for learning and taking responsibility. What is your opinion?

Essay topics:

In many countries children are engaged in some kind of paid work. Some people regard this as completely wrong, while others consider it a valuable work experience, which is important for learning and taking responsibility. What is your opinion?

Poverty is the main problem countries around the world even not only developing but also developed countries are dealing with. In addition, the increasing of education fees which forces children to make money more to cover both their needs and their education. Some people argue that children working is a good solution, while others think this stresses children.

On on hand, families below poverty line prefer asking their children to work hard because of the increasingly expensive needs. By working, the parents consider this as work experience which support not only children’s life but also family finance. Moreover, children with high income will receive a good reputation in their family because of the amount of money they earn. A good example for this is the case in Indonesia, more and more children are ambitious to get jobs instead of continuing their study due to the financial difficulties. the child laboring consider having a good position and high salaries is more important than pursuing their education.

On the other side, allowing children to enjoy their childhood days is the most important thing for their lives. Besides, spending time in the workplace can have a significant impact on both their health and their psychology. Children working to support the family finance will be depressed as a result of the work pressure which they should not get. In addition to mentioned above, another aspect to consider is their education which is useful in the future. With a high level of education, some people believe that the children will lead to the brighter future.

To conclude, child working must be eradicated, the parents should not encourage children to involve in any kind of paid work because the children should be allowed to enjoy their lives and should focus on their study without thinking of the financial problems their parents have.

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the increasing of education fees which forces children to make money more to cover both their needs and their education
Description: can you re-write this sentence?

the child laboring consider having a good position and high salaries is more important than pursuing their education.
the child laboring considers that having a good position and high salaries is more important than pursuing their education.

In addition to mentioned above
In addition to above mentioned reasons

child working must be eradicated, the parents should not encourage children
child working must be eradicated, and the parents should not encourage children

flaws:
No. of Grammatical Errors: 4 2

No. of Different Words: 156 200

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Attribute Value Ideal
Score: 5.5 out of 9
Category: Satisfactory Excellent
No. of Grammatical Errors: 4 2
No. of Spelling Errors: 0 2
No. of Sentences: 13 15
No. of Words: 306 350
No. of Characters: 1534 1500
No. of Different Words: 156 200
Fourth Root of Number of Words: 4.182 4.7
Average Word Length: 5.013 4.6
Word Length SD: 2.437 2.4
No. of Words greater than 5 chars: 113 100
No. of Words greater than 6 chars: 89 80
No. of Words greater than 7 chars: 62 40
No. of Words greater than 8 chars: 31 20
Use of Passive Voice (%): 0 0
Avg. Sentence Length: 23.538 21.0
Sentence Length SD: 9.928 7.5
Use of Discourse Markers (%): 0.692 0.12
Sentence-Text Coherence: 0.372 0.35
Sentence-Para Coherence: 0.561 0.50
Sentence-Sentence Coherence: 0.063 0.07
Number of Paragraphs: 4 5