In some countries the average weight of people is increasing and their levels of health and fitness are decreasing.
What do you think are the causes of these problems and what measures could be taken to solve them?
The past fifty years have seen a significant increase in obesity and ailments in some countries. It is argued by many that they are mainly attributed to excessive consuming of fast food as well as sedentary lifestyle. In this essay, I intend to explore the sources of this problem along with some possible solutions to it.
In my view, one of the underlying causes of the issue is the modern lifestyle. People become much busier and passive compared to their ancestors. There is also a growing popularity of convenient food to serve peole. Fast food, however, is high in level of fat, manomelisa and lack of vegetable, all of which are responsible for the increase in the average weight of people and the decline of health and fitness. In many recent surveys, thus, there is a positive correlation between the obesity and consuming fast food of children. People, moreover, become less active and energetic since the introduction of modern technology, namely computer, internet and television. More people usually use them as a way of relax rather than engaging in outdoor activities and sports. Technology, therefore, not only leads to the laziness but also the isolation from nature.
In order to stem the tide of modern lifestyle, I believe we must first address its root causes. Firstly, at the heart of the matter is the consuming of unhealthy food. I firmly belive that fast food containing additives or fat susbtance should be banned. Moreover, education campaigns in terms of heathy lifestyles should be adopted and involved by the majority of population. Secondly, it is vitally pivotal to invest more on sports facilities, such as parks, gymnastics and swimming pools.
In reality, this problem is unlikely to be solved in the short term. However, it is by no mean surmountable, and I am convinced that more people will choose traditional food and outdoor activities as a good alternative rather than excessive consuming of convinient food and using technology.
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Sentence: I firmly belive that fast food containing additives or fat susbtance should be banned.
Error: belive Suggestion: believe
Error: susbtance Suggestion: substance
Sentence: Moreover, education campaigns in terms of heathy lifestyles should be adopted and involved by the majority of population.
Error: heathy Suggestion: healthy
Sentence: However, it is by no mean surmountable, and I am convinced that more people will choose traditional food and outdoor activities as a good alternative rather than excessive consuming of convinient food and using technology.
Error: convinient Suggestion: convenient
Attribute Value Ideal
Score: 6.5 out of 9
Category: Good Excellent
No. of Grammatical Errors: 0 2
No. of Spelling Errors: 4 2
No. of Sentences: 18 15
No. of Words: 326 350
No. of Characters: 1601 1500
No. of Different Words: 194 200
Fourth Root of Number of Words: 4.249 4.7
Average Word Length: 4.911 4.6
Word Length SD: 2.701 2.4
No. of Words greater than 5 chars: 126 100
No. of Words greater than 6 chars: 90 80
No. of Words greater than 7 chars: 65 40
No. of Words greater than 8 chars: 47 20
Use of Passive Voice (%): 0 0
Avg. Sentence Length: 18.111 21.0
Sentence Length SD: 6.599 7.5
Use of Discourse Markers (%): 0.667 0.12
Sentence-Text Coherence: 0.28 0.35
Sentence-Para Coherence: 0.468 0.50
Sentence-Sentence Coherence: 0.041 0.07
Number of Paragraphs: 4 5