In some countries, marriages are arranged by the parents but in the other cases people choose their own marriage partner. Use your own ideas, knowledge and support your arguments with example and relevant evidence. Discuss both of them.
Based on findings from the Paleolithic age until nowadays, marriages are needed from all people in the world to fulfill their needs about peace of mind. Marriage is also about commitment between a man and a woman. In several countries, marriages are arranged by the parents. While some people have same opinion with that statement, the others say that people who to be marriage have to choose their own marriage partner. Analyzing both of the statement will discuss this.
Firstly, People usually marry because of tradition. For example, in Bali, there are 4 castes in there. The Balinese has to marry based on the same caste, if they marry with people in different caste, they will be expelled by community. Therefore, they choose marriage with their parent’s choice. Also, people said that marriages are arranged by parents because of age, especially women. For example, my cousin, she was 34 years old last year, she had not married yet because she worked too hard and that condition made her mother been afraid about her daughter’s future because she was still single and it made my cousin uncomforted because her mother always asked about when she wanted to marry. Because of that, my cousin choose to marriage is arranged by her mother but we have to know that parents always want to make us to get better life in the future.
Besides, people believe that marry by individual choice is better than parental choice because of love each other. For example, my father and my mother marry based on their selves. Before they are marrying, they have known each other, so they do not be shock about their own characters and attitudes, after they are married now. When we marry with our own marriage partner, we will feel comfort and it makes us easy to share our feeling.
The advantages when we choose our parental choice is our parents always give us the best solution especially for looking for our marriage partner, because they know that marriage is not only about love but also financial. The disadvantage one is when we marry with people that we do not love, it possible can be divorce in the future. The advantages when we choose our individual choice is we know all about our marriage partner’s character. The disadvantage one is we have to accept consequence our marriage partner’s character that sometimes we have to know people can change.
Ultimately, marriages are arranged by parental choice or by individual choice have advantages and disadvantages but you can determine the better way in your life with follow your conscience.
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my cousin choose to marriage is arranged by her mother
my cousin choose to marriage which is arranged by her mother
The advantages when we choose our parental choice is our parents always give us the best solution especially for looking for our marriage partner
Description: can you re-write this sentence?
Sentence: While some people have same opinion with that statement, the others say that people who to be marriage have to choose their own marriage partner.
Description: The tag a WH-pronoun, nominative is not usually followed by to
Suggestion: Refer to who and to
Sentence: For example, my cousin, she was 34 years old last year, she had not married yet because she worked too hard and that condition made her mother been afraid about her daughter's future because she was still single and it made my cousin uncomforted because her mother always asked about when she wanted to marry.
Description: the sentence is too long
Sentence: Because of that, my cousin choose to marriage is arranged by her mother but we have to know that parents always want to make us to get better life in the future.
Description: The fragment cousin choose to is rare
Suggestion: Possible agreement error: Replace choose with verb, past participle
Sentence: The disadvantage one is when we marry with people that we do not love, it possible can be divorce in the future.
Description: A pronoun, personal, nominative, 3rd person singular is not usually followed by an adjective
Suggestion: Refer to it and possible
Sentence: The advantages when we choose our individual choice is we know all about our marriage partner's character.
Description: The token is is not usually followed by a pronoun, personal, nominative, not 3rd person singular
Suggestion: Refer to is and we
Sentence: The disadvantage one is we have to accept consequence our marriage partner's character that sometimes we have to know people can change.
Description: The token is is not usually followed by a pronoun, personal, nominative, not 3rd person singular
Suggestion: Refer to is and we
Description: A noun, singular, common is not usually followed by a determiner, possessive
Suggestion: Refer to consequence and our
marriages are arranged by parental choice or by individual choice have advantages and disadvantages
marriages which are arranged by parental choice or by individual choice have advantages and disadvantages
Sentence: For example, my cousin, she was 34 years old last year, she had not married yet because she worked too hard and that condition made her mother been afraid about her daughter's future because she was still single and it made my cousin uncomforted because her mother always asked about when she wanted to marry.
Error: uncomforted Suggestion: No alternate word
flaws:
No. of Grammatical Errors: 9 2
Read a good grammar book.
Attribute Value Ideal
Score: 6.0 out of 9
Category: Good Excellent
No. of Grammatical Errors: 9 2
No. of Spelling Errors: 1 2
No. of Sentences: 21 15
No. of Words: 433 350
No. of Characters: 2061 1500
No. of Different Words: 187 200
Fourth Root of Number of Words: 4.562 4.7
Average Word Length: 4.76 4.6
Word Length SD: 2.379 2.4
No. of Words greater than 5 chars: 148 100
No. of Words greater than 6 chars: 98 80
No. of Words greater than 7 chars: 65 40
No. of Words greater than 8 chars: 40 20
Use of Passive Voice (%): 0 0
Avg. Sentence Length: 20.619 21.0
Sentence Length SD: 11.391 7.5
Use of Discourse Markers (%): 0.667 0.12
Sentence-Text Coherence: 0.331 0.35
Sentence-Para Coherence: 0.525 0.50
Sentence-Sentence Coherence: 0.164 0.07
Number of Paragraphs: 5 5