Some people believe that subjects such asMusic, Arts, Drama and Creative Writing willcontribute a great deal to children’sdevelopment; therefore they should take alarge part of the school timetable. To what extent do you agree or disagree?
No one can argue that school is an important place for educating. The future of a nation is related to a quality of school for training all younger people. A great school can build a student to be a rewarding person in the future. However, there is an issue of school’s curriculum whether or not it should take a larger part of schedule for creative subjects such as music, art and creative writing which can improve children’s improvement. On the other hand, some people argue that it is not a great idea these subjects. Both of these views will be discussed in further.
To begin with, extending creative subjects have many merits for children. Firstly, learning these subjects can boost a child’s imagination. When they create their performances during drawing or music classes, they can present their perspective and perform their abilities. Secondly, learning artwork also can release their pressure and improve their emotions, so they will feel relax and more happy when they study these classes. Happiness and relaxation can help a child develop their emotion control which is better than children who are stress and never release. Lastly, it can give them a chance to find their interest for studying art and music subjects. Some kids may love dancing and develop their skills in advanced.
Although, there are many benefits from learning these subjects, there also bring some negative impacts for youth, if we extend these art subjects. These subjects can distract children from focusing on their important subjects such as science and math because they may want to study only art or music and ignore learning others. As a result, the number of children who pursue in science and technological lines will decrease which can affect to lack some science professionals in the future.
In conclusion, education nourishes all children students with skills and improvement. Even though science and technology classes have a huge privilege for students in the modern world, I do believe these subjects still develop a student’s creativity and emotional control.
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some people argue that it is not a great idea these subjects.
some people argue that it is not a great idea to these subjects.
children who are stress and never release.
children who are stressed and never released.
I do believe these subjects still develop a student’s creativity and emotional control.
Description: which 'these subjects'? be clear
flaws:
a lot of 'they' in the sentences. More sentences varieties wanted.
Attribute Value Ideal
Score: 6.5 out of 9
Category: Good Excellent
No. of Grammatical Errors: 3 2
No. of Spelling Errors: 0 2
No. of Sentences: 18 15
No. of Words: 337 350
No. of Characters: 1691 1500
No. of Different Words: 185 200
Fourth Root of Number of Words: 4.285 4.7
Average Word Length: 5.018 4.6
Word Length SD: 2.482 2.4
No. of Words greater than 5 chars: 130 100
No. of Words greater than 6 chars: 100 80
No. of Words greater than 7 chars: 65 40
No. of Words greater than 8 chars: 26 20
Use of Passive Voice (%): 0 0
Avg. Sentence Length: 18.722 21.0
Sentence Length SD: 7.614 7.5
Use of Discourse Markers (%): 0.667 0.12
Sentence-Text Coherence: 0.322 0.35
Sentence-Para Coherence: 0.505 0.50
Sentence-Sentence Coherence: 0.094 0.07
Number of Paragraphs: 4 5