Some say that because many people are living much longer, the age at which people retire from work should be raised considerably.
To what extent do you agree or disagree?
It is unanimously acknowledged that "work is worship". Presently, some believe that retirement age should be increased owing to the prolonged longevity of people. However, some take issues with this view and claim that life span is not an acceptable measure for specifying the time at which people get retired. Here, I accord with the former perspective.
Multifarious points could endorse my view. First and foremost, because of the fact that today the longevity of people has put up, people have more opportunities in their lifetime to bring gains for their nations. To put it in another way, being out of work could have some deleterious impacts on the economy of the country because jobless people would not endeavor to bring prosperity in the society, and they are just consumers. Therefore, the plan in which the retirement age is raised had better be executed.
Laying emphasis on my vantage point, longer life span of people is the privilege for the government to use the workforce for more time, and it would be an egregious mistake if the nation did not use of the old experienced workers. To be more specific, the experience of the elderly employees is something to which we cannot close our eyes. Moreover, sometimes, some practical remedies could be found with the agency of old experienced workers who can open doors to the career development. Consequently, the time at which people get retired should be postponed. On the contrary, some have conflicting views.
They maintain that longer longevity of people is an advantage which has been brought by means of the science breakthroughs, and this more time should be taken up with enjoyment and leisure activities. Furthermore, the old, before departing this life, should have enough time to get pleasure from their harmonious relationships and rapport. Hence, people ought not to be made work for a longer time because of their longer life span.
To recapitulate, nowadays, the prolonged longevity of people necessitates increasing the retirement age because unemployment could have detrimental effects on the country.
Post date | Users | Rates | Link to Content |
---|---|---|---|
Wed, 01/15/2020 - 06:23 | dilipkarki | 73 | view |
Wed, 01/15/2020 - 06:16 | dilipkarki | 73 | view |
Wed, 11/13/2019 - 02:08 | vuthuytien98 | 89 | view |
Sat, 10/12/2019 - 10:21 | mchernev | 78 | view |
Thu, 02/01/2018 - 17:57 | TheBarbarios | 61 | view |
- The chart below shows the amount of money per week spent on fast foods in Britain. The graph shows the trends in consumption of fast foods. 70
- Success in formal pen and paper examinations is often seen to be a sign of intelligence To what extent do you agree with the view that formal examinations measure intelligence How can students be assessed 84
- More and more city workers are deciding to live in the country and travel into work every day. The result is increased traffic congestion and damage to the environment. What measures do you think could be taken to encourage people not to travel such long 70
- The widespread use of the internet has brought many problems. What do you think are the main problems associated with the use of the web? What solutions can you suggest?Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge 80
- In many countries, the amount of crime is increasing.What do you think are the main causes of crime?How can we deal with those causes? 35
They maintain that longer longevity
They think/believe that longer longevity
flaws:
It is not addressed clear. We didn't get the point:
'because jobless people would not endeavor to bring prosperity in the society, and they are just consumers. Therefore, the plan in which the retirement age is raised had better be executed.'
-----------------------------------
Can you re-write the conclusion:
the prolonged longevity of people necessitates increasing the retirement age because unemployment could have detrimental effects on the country.
------------------------------------
Sentences are not developed smoothly.
------------------------------------
Attribute Value Ideal
Score: 5.0 out of 9
Category: Satisfactory Excellent
No. of Grammatical Errors: 1 2
No. of Spelling Errors: 0 2
No. of Sentences: 17 15
No. of Words: 339 350
No. of Characters: 1699 1500
No. of Different Words: 174 200
Fourth Root of Number of Words: 4.291 4.7
Average Word Length: 5.012 4.6
Word Length SD: 2.76 2.4
No. of Words greater than 5 chars: 122 100
No. of Words greater than 6 chars: 91 80
No. of Words greater than 7 chars: 62 40
No. of Words greater than 8 chars: 50 20
Use of Passive Voice (%): 0 0
Avg. Sentence Length: 19.941 21.0
Sentence Length SD: 10.636 7.5
Use of Discourse Markers (%): 0.529 0.12
Sentence-Text Coherence: 0.326 0.35
Sentence-Para Coherence: 0.535 0.50
Sentence-Sentence Coherence: 0.047 0.07
Number of Paragraphs: 5 5