Successful sport professionals can earn a great deal more money than people in other important professions. Some people think this is fully justified while others think it is unfair.
Discuss both these views and give your own opinion.
Athlets usually have higher salary than other people, even they are also professional persons. However, some people think that it is just justified from another person who disagree with the condition. In my opinion, they have great salary because they have achievement and make country proud to them, but in fact, some other professions also have much more money than them because of their abilities.
It is common that athlets get good salary when they have achievement, especially in international level, and government will attend to them. For example, Susi Susanti and Alan Budi Kusuma have many chance to work in sport department with big salary. Because they are the winners of tennis in Sea Games 1900s and receive gold, also have opportunity in other company. If they are compared by another worker, definitely they are richer then the others, and it is balance with their achievements.
In the other hand, recently government allocates much more money for the other professions like teacher because they give roler in human’s life. Teacher who have finished the requirement will receive sertification as additional salary, and the number of their salary is not so different from athlets or other professionalist. It is twice of their salary per month.
To sum up, some people think that successful sport professionals can earn a great deal more money than people in other important professions because of their achievement. Nevertheless, the others say that this is fully justified while they think it is unfair, because of abilities and talents of another professionalist.
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from another person who disagree with the condition.
from another person who disagrees with the condition.
definitely they are richer then the others, and it is balance with their achievements.
definitely they are richer than the others, and it is in balance with their achievements.
allocates much more money for the other professions
allocates much more money for other professions
Teacher who have finished the requirement
Teachers who have finished the requirements
In the other hand,
On the other hand,
Sentence: It is common that athlets get good salary when they have achievement, especially in international level, and government will attend to them.
Error: athlets Suggestion: No alternate word
Sentence: In the other hand, recently government allocates much more money for the other professions like teacher because they give roler in human's life.
Error: roler Suggestion: No alternate word
Sentence: Teacher who have finished the requirement will receive sertification as additional salary, and the number of their salary is not so different from athlets or other professionalist.
Error: athlets Suggestion: No alternate word
Error: sertification Suggestion: certification
Error: professionalist Suggestion: No alternate word
Sentence: Nevertheless, the others say that this is fully justified while they think it is unfair, because of abilities and talents of another professionalist.
Error: professionalist Suggestion: No alternate word
flaws:
Attribute Value Ideal
Score: 5.0 out of 9
Category: Satisfactory Excellent
No. of Grammatical Errors: 5 2
No. of Spelling Errors: 5 2
No. of Sentences: 12 15
No. of Words: 255 350
No. of Characters: 1297 1500
No. of Different Words: 139 200
Fourth Root of Number of Words: 3.996 4.7
Average Word Length: 5.086 4.6
Word Length SD: 2.701 2.4
No. of Words greater than 5 chars: 87 100
No. of Words greater than 6 chars: 63 80
No. of Words greater than 7 chars: 35 40
No. of Words greater than 8 chars: 31 20
Use of Passive Voice (%): 0 0
Avg. Sentence Length: 21.25 21.0
Sentence Length SD: 6.379 7.5
Use of Discourse Markers (%): 0.75 0.12
Sentence-Text Coherence: 0.4 0.35
Sentence-Para Coherence: 0.608 0.50
Sentence-Sentence Coherence: 0.129 0.07
Number of Paragraphs: 4 5