Successful sports professionals can earn a great deal more money than people in other important professions. Some people think this is fully justified while others think it is unfair.
Discuss both these views and give your own opinion.
Nowadays, athletes with huge achievements can earn big amount of money rather than those with other professions which useful for human life. Many inhabitants believe it is fair enough due to sacrifices that experienced by the athletes, while other people think is unfair for people whose their job would give many benefits for society.
First thing that is important to note is that successful sport players had hard and heavy training long before their golden era. By doing this hard training, they have to be focus and many of them left their education just because they want to be great sports player. Indeed, this is huge sacrifice for them due to they made their in the future in unpredictable situation by having no formal education background. Furthermore, it is reasonable that they are deserve to earn huge amount of money because of their sacrifices.
On the other hand, seems it will be unfair for inhabitants with professions that could give more benefits for society, such as doctors and civil servants. It is true that people with these professions could give more advantages directly to the people because their job have many relations with people’s life. For instance, doctors can help others who have problems with their health and the presence of them can very are important for society. In addition, civil servants could help society for administration processes to help people in many needs, such as, identity card, social security number, and driving license.
All in all, both opinions could gives reliable reasons one and another. However, in my point of view, it is reasonable enough to support notion that successful athlete can earn more money due to their sacrifices in their life. While people with other important professions also deserve to get reasonable amount of money for their dedication.
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other professions which useful for human life.
other professions which are useful for human life.
due to sacrifices that experienced by the athletes,
due to the sacrifices that are experienced by the athletes,
while other people think is unfair for people whose their job would give many benefits for society.
while other people think it is unfair for people whose jobs would give many benefits for society.
this is huge sacrifice
this is a huge sacrifice
Sentence: For instance, doctors can help others who have problems with their health and the presence of them can very are important for society.
Description: A modal auxillary is not usually followed by a determiner/pronoun, post-determiner
Suggestion: Refer to can and very
Sentence: All in all, both opinions could gives reliable reasons one and another.
Description: A modal auxillary is not usually followed by a verb, present tense, 3rd person singular
Suggestion: Refer to could and gives
flaws:
No. of Grammatical Errors: 6 2
No. of Different Words: 153 200
Attribute Value Ideal
Score: 5.0 out of 9
Category: Satisfactory Excellent
No. of Grammatical Errors: 6 2
No. of Spelling Errors: 0 2
No. of Sentences: 13 15
No. of Words: 300 350
No. of Characters: 1492 1500
No. of Different Words: 153 200
Fourth Root of Number of Words: 4.162 4.7
Average Word Length: 4.973 4.6
Word Length SD: 2.483 2.4
No. of Words greater than 5 chars: 98 100
No. of Words greater than 6 chars: 70 80
No. of Words greater than 7 chars: 50 40
No. of Words greater than 8 chars: 31 20
Use of Passive Voice (%): 0 0
Avg. Sentence Length: 23.077 21.0
Sentence Length SD: 4.906 7.5
Use of Discourse Markers (%): 0.692 0.12
Sentence-Text Coherence: 0.362 0.35
Sentence-Para Coherence: 0.581 0.50
Sentence-Sentence Coherence: 0.098 0.07
Number of Paragraphs: 4 5