In today’s competitive world, many families find it necessary for both parents to go out to work. While some say the children in these families benefit from the additional income, others feel they lack support because of their parents’ absence.

More time passes, more the competition in the field of work becomes aggressive and as consequence many parents, in order to assure at least a stable wellness to their children, retain necessary to go out to work.

If at the beginning this role was tough to be more appropriate to men, due to the current situation, many mothers too are forced to leave house and children.

This is the reason why some people feel that children lack of support because of their parents’ absence: first of all in fact, they spend more time alone which makes later more difficult to reconnect them emotively with parents and second, they miss the presence of someone’s authority, element that may affect them in their growth.

However, on the other side, some other people believe that this effort and sacrifice made by parents is positive at the end since an additional income is an extra help for children guaranteeing them a better future.

Whereas, for what concerns my experience, although money may really improve a family’s wellness, I believe that at least one of the parents has to stay at home and take care of the children.

In fact, when I was small, both of my parents worked out, but then my mother decided to move her office in the first floor of the house to pass more time with me and I have to admit that, I was the priority above her job.

To conclude, it is fundamental not to forget that family in itself and connection and union with children is superior to any kind of job and income and as consequence parents should always take into account this before to make a work choice.

Votes
Average: 7.5 (2 votes)
Essays by the user:

More time passes, more the competition in the field of work becomes aggressive
the More time passes, the more competition in the field of work becomes aggressive

flaws:
Number of Paragraphs: 7 5

Don't put one sentence as one paragraph.

After you have an idea, you need to argue and support the idea in different aspects. Don't just leave it alone.

Try this pattern:
Para 1: introduction. my choice: A or B. agree or disagree.

Para 2: First,reason 1 (1 sentence) + why reason 1(some arguments. 2-3 sentences) + examples for reason 1 (around 2 sentences) + small conclusions (like advantages of reason 1 or comparisons if not reason 1, 1-2 sentences).

Para 3: Second,reason 2 ,blabla... do the same thing as First

Para 4: Third, reason 3 blabla... do the same thing as First but shorter

Para 5: Conclusion

Attribute Value Ideal
Score: 6.0 out of 9
Category: Satisfactory Excellent
No. of Grammatical Errors: 1 2
No. of Spelling Errors: 0 2
No. of Sentences: 7 15
No. of Words: 283 350
No. of Characters: 1265 1500
No. of Different Words: 162 200
Fourth Root of Number of Words: 4.102 4.7
Average Word Length: 4.47 4.6
Word Length SD: 2.339 2.4
No. of Words greater than 5 chars: 83 100
No. of Words greater than 6 chars: 56 80
No. of Words greater than 7 chars: 35 40
No. of Words greater than 8 chars: 19 20
Use of Passive Voice (%): 0 0
Avg. Sentence Length: 40.429 21.0
Sentence Length SD: 8.347 7.5
Use of Discourse Markers (%): 1 0.12
Sentence-Text Coherence: 0.449 0.35
Sentence-Para Coherence: 1 0.50
Sentence-Sentence Coherence: 0.187 0.07
Number of Paragraphs: 7 5